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I don't have direct experience, but have heard from more than one source that a .380 blowback has more muzzle flip than a locked breech 9mm. Maybe someone can comment.
I have a Kahr CM9 and find it quite controllable and easy to shoot. I have shot it for over 100 rounds per session without discomfort. I will say that with +P ammo, it has more muzzle flip than I like for a quick follow up shot, so I carry standard load SD rounds in it.
I think pocket 9s are an excellent idea. They are small, and easily consealable. Anything the .380 can do, the 9x19 can do a little better. If the guns are relatively the same size, and the 9x19 is easier to control, why recommend a .380 as a primary carry?
I use my CM9 as both a pocket gun, and IWB when I have to tuck and want deep concealment.