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If anyone is still reading this, I'll add my 2 cents...
A 'stupid mistake' does not justify the use of deadly force. If you see the act as a 'stupid mistake', DO NOT engage. As mere mortals, NOT batmen (nor wonder women ;), we can not intend to wound by shooting for the gun shoulder. If you are not committed to the use of deadly force, DO NOT engage. If you aim center mass, and happen to hit the shoulder, then maybe everybody goes away breathing. I'm sure your resolve would be strong in the face of a direct threat to you or your family, and it is only natural to have some trepidation when it involves third parties, but sometimes it is better to make yourself a valuable witness, and not a possible victim or perp. Hopefully that is a decision we'll never have to make, but if that time comes we'll be wiser for the time spent here.