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Arrrgghhhhh.... now "Background check under review" for 30 days.

OK.. after emailing and getting the standard "60 days" form reply, I thought I would play dumb and try a phone call to DPS. Mine has been in "Background check under review" status for 25 days now; everybody else is getting through it in 2 to 12 days. The lady said that the couple of PI convictions I had 40 years ago were almost certainly the cause. She said when an application comes in indicating a criminal record, no matter how old, it gets flagged and re-routed into another process. She said one person checks the background and finds out exactly what is there. Then another person examines the exact nature of the convictions and whether or not they disqualify the person from a CHL. Then another person looks over the whole file and gives the CHL final approval/disapproval. If that person approves it, then the application goes "back into the loop" and basically takes up where it left off. In this manner, the presence of any criminal record can delay the plastic by adding these extra steps to the process. People without criminal records get theirs faster because they zip straight through without the "detour."

So that's what they told me. (taps fingers on table, looks at ceiling, whistles...)