Washington DC: cut it off from Maryland, haul it down the Potomac and push it out to sea. (Then again, keeping it attached to Maryland, and detaching Maryland and DC together sounds like a good idea, too.)
New York City and Long Island: haul everything south of Westchester county off to sea and give them a good push toward "cool Britannia"
. If you want to include Westchester county and New Jersey with this, that is fine by me, particularly if Hillary Clinton and Up-Chuck Schumer, and all their other knee-jerk anti-gun legislators go too. Chicago: cut Chicago and its suburbs off from productive sections of Illinois, haul it up Lake Michigan, squeeze it through Mackinac Straits and donate the entire garbage heap to the Canadians. And make sure that Barack Obama is included in the donation; if he is lucky, maybe he can get elected to the Canadian Senate---and we will benefit because he will not get elected POTUS.
San Franscisco: cut it off from the rest of California and push it out to sea, along with Diane Feinstein and Gavin Newsom. Let the whole nest of bummers join the Hawai'ian secessionists, and good riddance to all of them.
Result: a lot of problems solved without a single shot fired---and plenty of jobs to go around in getting rid of the dead weight.