Return to “Woman held at gunpoint”
sammeow wrote:Hang in there, and keep checking your CHL status online.
Once you see "Mailed" be there in 3-5 days.
I always recommend to ladies that they check out Falia Leigh.
She blogs and has great YouTube videos for conceal options for women.
Good luck and stay safe.
Finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin again. txglock21 wrote:Wow...this guy sounds like a real winner! Unforunately, this is probably only temporary. Keep your guard up and always be aware. Good luck to you.
CHLLady wrote:You need a No trespassing/No soliciting sign, a solid front door, and a chain so that you don't open the door all the way... NO do not let them in. Women have to stop being so nice. Our safety needs to come first over offending someone's feelings. I say this because I KNOW I am guilty of this very thing. WHY do we do this after the fact? We have to put the brakes on first. WHY shouldn't you be in threat mode?! Your instincts told you correctly the first time, your brain made you change it!! You were 100% right to answer the door with your gun. Listen to your instincts. And don't apologize! In the book, I mentioned earlier, he tells you WHY you need to use your instincts! Do you know the kind of people who sell mags. Door to door are not the kind that have a good job history or a long one. I bet they hire anyone to do this, even ex-cons. Who's to say that on that day he decides to go bad again... We have got to change our way of thinking!LadyLightening wrote:Thanks for all the comments! Especially the ladies that chimed in! :) Everyone's contributed to things I hadn't even thought of.I have a quick question though. I had some young guys (very early 20s...if that) come to the door selling magazine subscriptions. I had been working in the backyard coming and going into the house every so often and the front door was unlocked. Doorbell rings and stupid me answers the door halfway with my gun in hand on the side that wasn't supposed to be visible. Once I realized I shouldn't be in "threat" mode, I told them to hold on and I closed the door and put my gun on the hallway table. One of the guys was pretty country and he asked me what kind of gun I had and if it was pink.... Pink holster!! They saw through it through the glass in the middle of the door. So I apologized a million times and decided to buy magazines that were ridiculously overpriced after I gave them an idea of why I answered with a gun. They were cool with it and laughed, asked to come into the house and finish paperwork and I let them in. Can I get in trouble for them seeing it? I know absolutely I would if I was outside my home but I was inside. I know I shouldn't of let them in either but I didn't come to my senses until after the fact.
I had some man come to the door, which I did NOT open claiming to be from an electric company I don't have. He was very offended that I would not open the door. I could tell in the way he answered me. Oh well! Too bad, survey someone else! But then again, I did open the door to a guy trying to sell Direct Tv/Dish. He asked for a bottle of water, a pen, and 2 napkins to wipe his face. I accommodated him every time. I shut the door and he was not allowed in, but still I'm irritated with myself over this one. I'm too darn nice! Ugh! Then we put up the No trespassing/soliciting sign.
I just downloaded that book to my iPad, it sounds like I could really use it. I just had the same experience with Direct TV!! I had to let this guy into my house though...I could hear his stomach rumbling and then he asked me if he could use my bathroom. This guy pinched a loaf in my toilet, didn't even flush AND I could smell it from my living room. It looked like world war 3 had started in my bathroom. I don't get it! If that was me in someone else's home, I wouldn't go drop bombs in their bathroom... I'd have to leave!! Sorry if I was too detailed. 
Excaliber wrote:Yes, it's mental health issue and apparently a serious one. You're right to be concerned. The verbal remark you cite indicates he has thoughts of taking it to the physical level and he is fixated on you.LadyLightening wrote:Excaliber wrote:LadyLightening wrote:Excaliber wrote:If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.LadyLightening wrote:I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.
You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.
If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.
What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.
By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.
Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.
Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.
The introductory chain friend isn't really a friend anymore and we've had a falling out because I came to them with this. There haven't been direct threats but he's stood outside my house in the street just staring. I'll go outside in the morning to find notes outside my house or stuff that has been messed with, left, and things like that. The screen on my window has been cut. The only things he's ever really said to me is "you're really going to like it." Other than that, it's just a lot of sitting outside my house, bombarded with prank calls, and the occasional sighting once I go out. My dog is an adult, Ace is very protective of me and isn't fond of strangers or kids. I'm exhausted with looking over my shoulder every minute of the day. If he does escalate it, I *think* I'm ready for him but there's also the feeling that after everything I may have the scary movie girl reaction which is scream, run, and get cornered. What's going on inside his mind that thinks this is okay?? Is it a mental health issue? A fetish? I just don't get it!!!
Not good.
If the phone he's calling is a land line, ask the phone company to place a trap on your line to document the time, date, and source of the calls and use that evidence to charge him criminally for them. Police are generally receptive to filing charges under these circumstances.
If it's a cell phone, you can get those records from the cellular provider as well. If there are a lot of calls, you may want to consider either changing your cell phone number or getting a temporary "pay as you go" phone that you use for day to day communication. If he never gets an answer on the phone, eventually he'll stop calling.
Consider having an attorney write him a "cease and desist" letter delivered by certified mail with return receipt to put him on documented legal notice. This can be used later if he continues to bother you.
You might also consider living with a relative or friend for a few weeks. I understand it would be a pain and would feel like you're letting him win, but if he doesn't get to see you come and go, the reward for spending time outside your residence diminishes rapidly and it may put an end to it.
Watch carefully for any escalation. Situations like this are not stable - they will either escalate or deescalate, and there's no way to say for sure which way yours will go.
The ideal scenario is that you remove his ability to see or contact you at will for a period of time long enough for his attention to shift elsewhere.
If he attempts to approach you outside, as soon as he takes a step toward you, putting your hands up in a "stop" gesture and loudly order him to not come any closer and to get away from you is a viable tactic. This means if he's fifty feet away, do this when he makes it to 48 feet. Make a scene that will be readily noticed by anyone nearby. If he continues to advance, it will be clear to everyone present that he is a threat. Shout loudly to bystanders that he is a stalker and to call 911 for you. You may warn him that if he continues to advance, you will treat him as an immediate threat.
Do whatever you can to keep things (cars, lamp posts, mailboxes, etc.) between you and him and to keep him from closing the distance to you. If you can't get away, you'll have to manage the situation according to what he does next.
Make sure you have a solid knowledge of the circumstances of when you can legally draw your handgun, when you can point it, and when you can fire it if needed. Make sure you also know what to do afterwards and how to work with responding police.
Pray that you never find yourself in this situation, but prepare yourself to do whatever it takes to come out of it intact if it presents itself.
Charles L. Cotton wrote:Welcome to the Forum and I'm sorry to hear of your problem. What part of Texas do you call home?
Chas.
LadyLightening wrote:Hi, I'm new! Please don't shoot if I posted this in the wrong place. :)
I'm patiently waiting for my plastic to make its merry way to my mailbox. So, in the meantime I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for when I start carrying. I've been working on my situational awareness and taking self defense classes...I'm going to start out with purse carry. I know it's frowned upon but I want to get used to carrying then eventually switch to on body. Now I don't think this is really considered a "purse"... It's a very small coach cross body messenger bag, it won't fit much more than my glock 26! Anyways, I was just randomly thinking through scenarios and what my best course of action would be and this one just kind of got to me.
Let's say I'm carrying in my very accessible bag that would be resting on my hip. If I were to be held at gun point, wouldn't showing my gun automatically get me shot? In the past, I was robbed while bar hopping in downtown Dallas and I had thrown my bag in the opposite direction and ran for dear life in 3 inch heels and ended up with a stolen Louis and a broken ankle.
I know you're probably shaking your head after reading that but this was when I was 21 (25 now) and I thought I was invincible to everything! My situational awareness used to be terrible, I only hope now that with paying more attention to my surroundings I won't be put in that situation to where the bad guy gets the advantage on me.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate any feedback you may give :) Sorry it took so long to get to the point!
Excaliber wrote:LadyLightening wrote:Excaliber wrote:If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.LadyLightening wrote:I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.
You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.
If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.
What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.
By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.
Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.
Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.
Excaliber wrote:If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.LadyLightening wrote:I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.
You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.
If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.