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From the vantage point of only knowing what's in your post, I think the "too long for him to be away from his mama" is a dodge to conceal her opposition to doing gun things with your step-son (and good on you for raising him). At least I hope it is a dodge, he is certainly old enough to be going on campouts and such, and he does in fact need to start learning to be able to function from his mama -- especially with his dad along! I remember being homesick as all get out on my first week away from home, at boy scout summer camp, when I was about 11. It was tough, but it is something you need to learn to start learning to deal with at 11, not 18 or 22.

But the bigger issue for the moment is the out-of-balance fear (and it is not just "fear of guns") your wife has. I am assuming she is about the same age as you, early 50s -- that's going to be a tough challenge. It is hard enough to get people who recognize they have an issue to change their emotional mind-set, never mind someone who thinks there is nothing wrong. I really don't know what you do about that. Prayers for one. Perhaps you can consult with a psychologist on how you might approach this. Psychology is a squishy "science" and there is a lot of blarney out there, but there are also people who have good insight to what makes people tick.