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A couple of months ago at work, we had a "Wear Your School Colors" theme for our casual dress on Friday. Of course, I just wore my normal clothes. When I was asked about it, I told them when I went to school we didn't have school colors -
Everything was still in Black & White.

RPB wrote:Super Bowl

"No, they're all at the funeral"

I could see this actually happening.

Jasonw560 wrote:"It's a nick knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan!"

BobCat wrote:"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

I didn't see that one coming.

Ropin wrote:Customer says, "Eh...that's no lion, that's a giraffe."

That's really bad.

How do they dance in Arabia?

Sheik-to-sheik

Ropin wrote:Back to the limb jokes...

What do you call a woman who has one leg shorter than the other? Eileen

A Japanese woman with the same affliction? Irene

Excaliber wrote:In 2011 We'll have both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address occur on the same day.

As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition of events; one involves a meaningless ritual in which
we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication while the other involves a groundhog."

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, 'I bet you don't know what day this is?'

'Of course I do,' he answered indignantly, as he slammed the door, and drove to his office.

At 11 o'clock, the doorbell rang. The wife answered, and at her front door was a UPS driver holding a box, containing a dozen red roses.

Later, at 2 pm there was another knock at the door. This time the driver had a box of Belgian chocolates.

Later that evening the husband came home, tired after a hard day's work. His wife greeted him by saying: 'First the flowers, then the chocolates, I've never had such a wonderful Groundhog Day!'

What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!

There were three construction workers, a Scotsman, an Irishman and a Jew. Every day they went to work building skyscrapers. Every day at noon they would sit down on the high beams to eat lunch.

One day they were eating lunch and the Scotsman opens his brown bag and pulls out a tuna fish sandwich. He flies into a rage - "Tuna again! I hate tuna! If I ever get another tuna sandwich for lunch I will jump off this building!"

The Irishman opens his lunch and sees an egg salad sandwich. He also is very angry -"Egg salad again! I hate egg salad! If I ever get another egg salad sandwich for lunch I will jump off this building!"

The Jewish man opens his lunch a sees a salami sandwich. He yells to his coworkers -"Salami again! I hate salami! If I ever get another salami sandwich for lunch I will jump off this building!"

The next day the Scotsman pulls out his lunch and says, "Tuna again! That's it!" and jumps off the building.

The Irishman pulls out his lunch. He sees an egg salad sandwich and says, "Egg salad again! That's it!" and jumps off the building.

The Jewish man opens his lunch. He sees a salami sandwich and says, "Salami again! That's it!" and jumps off the building.

The next day the worker's wives were interviewed by the police. The Scottish and Irish women are heart broken. They both told the police the same story - "If he had just told me he didn't like it, I would have made him something different."

The Jewish wife shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't understand. He always made his own lunch."

There was this old man who lived out in the country. He relaxed by sitting on his front porch in his rocking chair. Every week or so a farmer would drive slowly by his house pulling a trailer full of manure. After a while the old man let his curiosity get the best of him. So one day he stopped the farmer and asked him, "What do you do with all of that manure?"

The farmer replied, "I put it on my strawberries."

Astonished, the old man said, "Hmm, I never tried that before. I just put whipped cream on mine."

A redneck is driving down the road in his pick-up truck and a state Trooper pulls him over.

The Trooper goes up to the truck and asks the redneck, "Got any ID?"

The redneck says, " 'bout what?"

BobCat wrote:"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?

austinrealtor wrote:"Look," the Guiness president says. "I figure if you bloaks ain't gonna drink beer, I ain't neither."