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Nguyen, I feel your pain. I am not Asian, but my mother is an old-world European with much the same expectations of unquestioned obedience from her children. She is also a WW2 war survivor where, as a civilian, she was subjected to extreme privation and surrounded by destruction. It makes her crazy that I'm a conservative gun owner. She's pretty sure that she raised me better than that, and since she's a liberal retired college professor, she naturally thinks she knows everything. And she still thinks that, at 55 years old, I can't possibly know anything. That being said, I love her and honor her anyway. But I have adopted some "survival techniques" calculated for the preservation of harmony.

One of those techniques is that I just don't challenge her on her assumptions. I'll never change her mind, so there's no percentage in wasting time on trying to do so. I don't rub guns in her face. She hates them. She knows I own them, but if she wants to bring it up, I just tell her, "Look, I'm not going to change your mind, and you're not going to change mine. So let's talk about the weather instead." It helps that she lives 1,450 miles from me, so she can't just waltz over and snoop around any time she wants to. It also helps that I am married with my own family, and my wife and I set very clear boundaries about who is in charge in our home. She wouldn't dare search through my belongings like your parents did to you.

I can't advise you as to exactly how you should set boundaries for your parents when they are staying with you. You know them better than any of us here do. But you will have to set some boundaries, and the sooner you do that, the sooner you can return to having a harmonious relationship with them. And those boundaries will have to include an understanding on their part that, when they are in your home, they are your guests, and they either must respect the rules of your home just as you respect the rules of their's, or they will have to stay somewhere else. Also take heart that, if you eventually marry and have a family of your own, your parents will no longer be in a position to do ridiculous stuff like searching your belongings for "contraband."

Best of luck to you.