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I was thinking of installing a GAU-8 cannon in a sandbagged revetment inside my front door, facing outward, and a button activated door opener. Imagine the look on your visitor's face when you pop the door open.

I'm seeing lost of valuable applications for this setup: discouraging cable TV/security systems salesmen; discouraging door to door magazine sales; and reminding Jehovah's Witness and Mormon door knockers that they are "nearer my God to Thee" than they had realized."