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An 870 is the perfect gun for your situation Longhorn. I have the entire family minus a 28 gauge 870. (kinda hard to find a reasonably priced 28) The 12 kicks hard. True, there is more shot in each shell, but if I miss the first shot, to work the action then reacquire takes a considerable amount of skill, practice, and effort. A 20 is a dream to shoot. The recoil is much less compared to a 12G, and reacquisition of target is much quicker and easier. They are also very affordable. (another reason why I have five)

As far as home defense is concerned, it's difficult to defeat a 12 gauge loaded with Buckshot. Personally, anybody I see carrying a shotgun, I wouldn't be wondering about the Birdshot/Buckshot debate.

I was taught in my CHL class, if you have to draw, shoot to kill. The threshold to draw should be pretty high so if you have to bring out a shotgun, that is serious and a rock salt blast will not drop an intruder. I have an 870 in the corner next to my bed that has Birdshot and Buckshot. Birdshot won't over penetrate sheet rock but is quite lethal at close range. Buckshot doesn't need any explanation.