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The only thing I'll chime in on is your thought of having one type of ammo/platform. My wife and I had different calibers/guns. I was carrying a .45 Defender or a .38 snubbie while the wife carried a PT111 (9mm). Due to some influx of cash I decided I wanted to get a couple of pistols for when my sons get to be CHL age (one is 20 and the other is 15). My wife also didn't much care for the PT111s trigger and I was looking for something with more capacity.

I decided, like you're thinking, that a common caliber/platform would be advantagous. I needed a platform that any of us could shoot. The 9mm seemed to be the best caliber for my wife and a good starter caliber for just about anyone. 9mm also tends to be cheaper. With 9mm I also could get higher capacity in a smaller package. With all of us having the same platform there would be the advantage of common manual of arms, swapping mags, and I have over 100 rounds in magazines ready for use if needed. If my wife and I are together I have 10+1 in the gun and 32 in two mags on the hip. My wife will also have 10+1 and an extra 16. It also cleared up a little more room in the safe by clearing out some .38 ammo

So I'll encourage you to continue considering the common caliber/platform. Not that there is anything wrong with multiples, it just seems to make the most sense. All that said, find what you can shoot, is reliable, and can afford to practice with. Not much else matters.

We had our choice of just about any model but I ended up getting the XD9 in subcompact. The PT111 and .38 got traded in. The .45 I'll keep.

Good luck in your search, it's fun, and welcome to the board.