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Pcgizmo, I was actually wondering what your wife's position was on all this. What is her opinion of her brother? What is her opinion of her parents' actions? I'm also thinking that since your wife's parents are unable to make the tough decision and by asking you for your help or advice they may be wanting you to start making these decision for them and tell them what to do. It is putting you in a tough spot and they could eventually blame you if things get worse for their son. They could be trying to hand you the keys to the family.

Early in my marriage, 20 years this year, I considered my wife an equal. Things have changed over the years and about 5 years ago I realized that even though she earns twice what I do I'm still in charge. We discuss almost everything, but the final decision is always mine. She trusts me and knows that I wouldn't put our family at risk. Our parents are also approaching that stage in their lives when they will begin relying on us more. A long time ago my own father made a decision for the safety of his family and moved my mom, brother, and sister 1,300 miles away from my mom's family and my dad's own mother. The issue had nothing to do with my dad's mom, but it was the sacrifice he had to make for the safety of his wife and kids. It was the best thing he could have done. I'm sure it was a difficult decision, but it needed to be done.