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Interesting thread. I'm in a similar situation. We've been married now for about 14 years. I've always hunted and have always had rifles in the house. She changed a bit when I bought a couple of pistols. I'm not sure if it was the new pistols or if it was concern over the number of guns I had purchased within a year. She's said a couple of times "You've been fine for 3x years not carrying, why now?" I simply reply with, "We've been lucky."
She's not against them, I think she's just uncomfortable with the pistol "stigma".

I've been carrying now for about 8 months (xd .40 subc & LCP). I think I carried for about 2 months before she caught on, and she only really caught on when I wouldn't have drinks when we went to dinner. She has now come to like having a defaulted designated driver and does not make a fuss when I say "Does this look OK?" and "Does my gun show too much?" She is even helping me look for the 30.06 signs and has inquired where I can and can't carry.

BUT, I must say I was really surprised when she asked what should she do if someone was trying to break into the house. I was on my way out of town for a 2 week trip, but quickly gave her some pointers on where I kept the pistols and how to get the one that was alway ready. She has her 20 guage, but she tried on the xd sub compact, xd 4", and lcp. She and I thought the 4" was a better fit for now. I've now discussed the possibility of getting her a wheel gun and she's not against it. I just now need to figure out the right introduction for pistol shooting for her. I've been looking for an excuse to get a 22 pistol to start showing my daughter (8) how to use a pistol. She's gone from the pink red rider to the 10/22 and now and I think will be ready to try a 22 pistol in the next year or so. I think I'll be looking for more information about how to introduce both my daughter and wife now to pistols. Anyone know of a mother daughter intro class?