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Ericstac wrote:^^ I'm not one of those tinfoil hat types of people and I use laughter to hide my pain and sorrow and would never think twice about someone doing the same.. BUT, I would never clear myself of the laughter and put myself back into mourning mode before speaking. That is what is just not right.. He was obviously coaching his body back to a sad dad before he did his speech and that makes him look fake.

With all due respect, unless you have been in his shoes, you cannot possibly know what you might or might not do just to survive the next minute and the make it through the next task in front of you.

My interpretation of his actions is, through it all, he was (and still is) merely surviving. He was running on just about zero sleep - and what little bits of rest may have come to him via sheer exhaustion - were peppered with horror.

He prepared his statement earlier by doing only what was in front of him to do.
He showered and got dressed by doing only what was in front of him to do.
He came out into the throng of reporters by doing only what was in front of him to do.

The moment when he was to begin speaking, he was not putting himself back into to "mourning mode". He was doing only what was in front of him to do, which at that moment. was to begin to think about the words he had prepared earlier. The "mourning mode" you describe was an immense battle to maintain composure as the rush of unclassifiable emotions swamped every fiber of his being.

This excessive judging of what someone is or isn't, should or should not be doing after suffering the loss of a child is horrific and really needs to stop.

The Annoyed Man wrote:The laughing parent, who it turns out is some kind of actor....

TAM, you know I have the highest respect for you. And I cannot comment on all of the other details that you are questioning about the incident. But I have not seen one credible shred of evidence that any of the parents depicted are anything other human beings suffering the worst possible trauma a parent can face.

baldeagle wrote:Yes, I've seen it. I didn't think the emotions were forced. When you've been confronted with an unthinkable tragedy that affects you personally, you go through a range of emotions far beyond what others do during a "normal" loss. It's not all unusual to laugh, cry, scream and not react at all based on the inputs you're getting and your emotional state at the moment.

I think we humans are far too judgmental of others. What really frightens me is when police detectives use those unusual reactions as a basis to decide a person must have been involved with the crime they're investigating. Sometimes it's true, but sometimes it's not.

This is it exactly. When one suffers of loss of this magnitude - there is no script to follow on how to survive from one minute to the next.

You are at times amazed at the things/tasks you are able to do. You are at also at times surprised by the simple things you are unable to do.

I promise you that one day after his daughter was killed there is absolutely nothing functioning normally in his head. He was sleep deprived and what little sleep he may have gotten is populated with moments of terror and despair.

There are bouts of despair and agony that are so physically painful and seemingly unending that you pray for some relief which may or may not come. And then there are moments when you have cried so much you simply feel as if you have no tears left. Those moments can be separated by mere milliseconds and the emotional shift can be dramatic.

You survive by taking the next breath and doing what is set in front of you to do.

I don't think he was consciously steeling himself up preparing for the interview, but I think he was merely doing each task that was before him to do. That functional part of your mind takes over for a short while. And so just moments before the interview, his task before him was to conduct the interview. Then once the interview process began, his task before was to talk about his daughter which gave free reign to the part of the brain most impacted by the trauma and thus the emotions cannot be contained.

I am sorry, but find it offensive that people are judging him based upon his state being erratic. Of course he was erratic - that comes when you lose a child.

People who have children think they know how painful it would be to lose a child. And, by and large, I think they actually do have a pretty good idea - any parent can imagine what that emptiness would be like. But what one cannot do, is imagine what the grieving process would be like. It is simply unfathomable unless you have been there.

I think it is the same as 9/11 conspiracy theories ... which I can't describe on this forum.