mojo84 wrote:jmra wrote:SQLGeek wrote:FIrst of all, congrats to you on a long relationship already. My wife and I dated for several years through high school and college and I think in many respects that has made our marriage easier (but still not easy!).
As far as the ring, I don't know either of you but my suggestion would be to disregard the typical advice you get such as "budget 2-3 months salary". That's a marketing ploy from the diamond industry (same thing as diamonds are truly rare). If you're not stuck on recent tradition, it may not even have to be a diamond if neither of you are the type that cares about that. My wife wanted a diamond ring so that's what I got for her after quite a bit of shopping around.
What I ended up doing was picking out a certified diamond that looked good and was a decent size but not extravagant and then had it placed in a setting I knew she would like. It wasn't very expensive or large but the clarity of the diamond made up for the size.
That said, once you're engaged, I highly recommend pre-marital counseling even if you're not religious. A good, honest assessment of your relationship with a professional will at least give you both a good footing for starting off your marriage right.
Good luck to you!
Great advice.
If you can't afford the ring, don't buy it. But don't go cheap and then expect to spend thousands on "toys".
Don't go to bed angry (especially in your first years of marriage). My wife and I had some very late night discussions in the kitchen, but the bedroom was a sanctuary of peace and tranquility. Worked very well for us.
Don't be in a hurry to have kids. My wife and I were married for 10 years before starting a family. It allowed us to do things for our kids financially that we would have been unable to do otherwise.
Sage advice by both. Its not the price of the ring that counts. It's the love in the heart and commitment in the mind that counts. If it was the price of the ring that mattered, my wife would have never married me. I bought her here ring when I was 17 and broker than broke. That was almost 29 years ago that we got married.
This does seem like unquestionably good advice from both parties. I should add that I don't think she really wants an expensive ring. In fact, I've heard her say that she wouldn't be comfortable spending the price range I'm talking about, that of a nice used car. However, I thought it would be a good thing to treat her well and get her something really nice. She unquestionably deserves to be treated like that. Although, what's been said here makes a lot of sense. I should probably cut my budget in about half and we could get something more flashy when we have a larger income. She'll be an independently operating surgeon by then so we should be able to afford it. Of course, that is if obamacare doesn't affect her income.
Oh, by the way, she has zero guns and is supportive of all of my hobbies. Even if they worry her, like motorcycle riding. I'm the cook for sure.
