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surferdaddy wrote:I hope she is just overreacting a bit, she does have a knack for the dramatic.

did she take pictures? what does your BIL say about the conditions? maybe they need to talk with his regular doctor if they know him, if they don't they probably won't be able to because of HIPA.

I am so sorry, this is hard to deal with when you've got some warning, this is a bit of a tornado isn't it?

surferdaddy wrote:A battery of mental tests may be in his future, I'd sure like to see his foggy-ness slow and prove to be merely a symptom of advanced age. I'd sure hate to see the state strip him of his rights; at the same time, we are getting a bit concerned.

if you can get a good diagnosis, he can be put on meds that will stop his progression, it won't back up the time line, but it can possibly stop it, or slow it down significantly. Honestly, I don't see why the state would strip him of his rights, however, there might need to be a discussion, like I said. A "Hey, Dad....when would you say is the time for you to stop driving? when would you need to move out of your house? etc." and write it all down, with him. a contract or whatever you want to call it. With my Father-in-Law there would have been no way to have had such a discussion without such testing. With my mother-in-law, well, she had the testing, but the first test revealed mild dementia, and my fil was alive and everything was fine, so we weren't worried, he passed away and she spiraled.....there was no way to have such a discussion. When she was tested the following year she'd progressed significantly, now we're looking at facilities at it hasn't been 2 years since her diagnosis. She's 88. I'm scared to death she's going to hate the idea. But it's the only way to keep her safe, she's going to turn on the stove and gas herself one of these days.

good luck to you, if I can be of any help let me know, I'm around much of the time.

I'm not sure how you can do this....but at BAMC, in San Antonio, there is the Nuero-psychology department, there, they will do what they call "memory tests". Now, what you are looking for, really is two tests, one this year and one in one year, that will give you the amount of...."degeneration", for lack of a better word. But the test this year would give you a decent result because they would compare it to other 80 year old men.

Now, that is BAMC, what your wife needs to do, since she's his daughter, is to talk to his doc and see if he can refer her dad out to someone to do such a test....to at least get a baseline dementia test. Then you will have something to talk with him about. He's not going to talk to you about anything, if he's anything like my father-in-law was, without some type of test results. Also, if there is some dementia, you will want to be able to sit with him and write out a plan, ASAP!!!! please!!!! ask me how I know....I dare you...