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...the first night there, find out where the diplomats drink...and engage yerself a thug with a full auto machine pistol hanging under his arm(say, from one of those Eastern countries) and dump him when it's time to come home...they can carry ANYTHING , you know..

...if the Guvnah wasn't out stumpin', you could have him appoint you the ambassador from Texas and that'd give YOU diplomatic immunity...but where is he when you need him???