My approach to helping a lady or anyone select a firearm is:
1. Don't make any assumptions about the buyer? There was an old lady at my CHL class who could shoot a .357 Mag revolver pretty darn good, so don't judge a book by it's cover.
2. Find out at what skill level the buyer is?
3. Find out for what purpose the gun is for?
4. Find out how commited or passionate the buyer is about firearms and learning how to use one.
For example:
I helped both my Wife and Mother select a type of gun a to buy and even recommend a few makes and models.
In both cases, I knew they had never fired a pistol before but wanted something simple to use for self/home defense and was not likely to shoot very much. So for them I recommend a 4", 6 shot .357 Mag revolver and for them to shoot .38spl or .38 spl+P.
I recommended the S&W, Ruger GP100 or SP101 or maybe something in a Taurus if cost/low level of use was a factor.
My wife has a 4" SS Taurus Tracker .357 Mag 7 shot w ported barrel that she loves and percieves the ported barrel to be of great benefit in reducing recoil. It was enought to get her in to shooting at all so I am happy. I do notice an occasional undesired flash with the ported barrel but my wife shoots with her eyes closed anyway so she doesn't mind at all
My wife has since graduated to a Glock 19 and obtained her CHL. I am so proud. Now I want my own .357 mag and my own Glock 19. I am a .45ACP guy but I like them a lot. My mother said she would get what she could afford even though I encouraged her to afford a little bit more for something better. She ended up getting a Rossi 3" 6 shot blued.357 Mag Model #R46103. She also bought some Federal Hydrashok .38spl low recoil ammo. I ended up getting her 2x100 round of UMC .38spl +P value packs because thats all they had on the shelf at the time, but that should tide her over until the apocalypse. She went all by herself to Academy and bought one. It was not the exact gun I would have bought for myself or wanted her to buy but it was better than her not buying any gun at all. The fact that she is now a gun owner is still quite a truly amazing accomplishment for her. I am so proud.
I could have bought something better for her but I know I would have just kept it for myself. ;)
But the moral of the story is to get the story behind the buyer.