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Edna, first of all, I agree 100% with everyones' observation that this behavior was unsafe and uncalled for. And I think that you already see that. I'm just expressing a view about his carelessness.

I would seriously question anyone that was flippant about gun safety. IMO, the way to make you feel safe is to show you that you are safe. He could have shown you any number of things to prove to you that it was safe. It is ego (a dangerous thing) to not show these things. The four absolute easiest things to show you are that he is taking safety seriously, that the pistol is at slide lock, the magazine well is empty, and chamber is empty. It would take him ten seconds to show these things and then the anxiety can drop to near negligible.

His cavalier attitude about seat belts and the other areas you mentioned can have catastrophic repercussions if manifested in gun handling. If the ten seconds to show you a pistol is unloaded is too much trouble, I would be incredibly hesitant to ever go back. Your relative's unwillingness to help reduce your anxiety is a huge red flag. My wife is not a gun person but she tolerates and encourages me simply because I have taught her what to look for and repeatedly proven to her that I will show her those things she is expecting to see from me. While it makes us both safe, it also removes any anxiety she might have. Any person in a power struggle to protect their ability to make you nervous around a firearm is fighting an incredibly odd and unnerving fight.

I didn't answer the poll because the absolute of "never" is rarely actually achieved. Anyone that has been to a gun show has had muzzles covering then repeatedly. Anyone that has used a bore light on an assembled firearm has pointed a gun at their head. Anyone using a bore rod to clean an assembled semi-auto has covered their hand with a gun. And most likely their dominant hand. Point being there are exceptions BUT those exceptions are AFTER some very simple steps are taken to make the firearm safe. Your relative isn't taking those steps.