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I was driving through a construction zone this morning. Speed limit is 20, signs posted every 200 yards, workers visible. It's an area where one side of the road is closed, and the remaining two lanes are remarked for opposing traffic. I drive this road daily. Not only is enforcement high (it's unusual NOT to see someone pulled over) but several times I've had to slam on the brakes because some putz decided to pass and I had to brake to avoid an accident.

So I'm doing a few miles over 20.

Guy zooms up behind me, almost touching my rear end. At least half his hood was not visible in my rear view, he was so close. After a few seconds I see him yelling at me and flipping me the bird. I casually point to the speed limit sign as we pass it.

We spend the next 2 miles like this. Him gesturing furiously and me riding along with my cruise control set a few above 20. I always use my cruise control in known high-enforcement areas, since my foot can have a mind of its own sometimes.

When the construction ends, he immediately veers right and speeds up. I speed up to 30 (the new speed limit). He zooms in front of me and stomps on his brakes. Within 100 yards we're both stopped in the leftmost lane with 3 additional lanes of traffic passing to my right.

I start laughing. Not just a chuckle. A huge belly laugh. Then I give him one of these....



He was madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory.
After about 10-15 seconds he turned and crossed 3 lanes of traffic to make a right and leave.
I hope his day went better from there.

If it was you....... Thanks for the laugh.

Now for my question.... Seriously... Is laughing and doing this a "failure to deescalate".?

I frustrated as I get with people driving under the speed limit, I can't really fault anyone for not speeding.

"failure to deescalate".? There was probably nothing you could have done at that point to deescalate at that point. I think it was best to just leave and let him stew.

I find it best to sit there with a straight face and be dialing the phone. That usually deescalates the event pretty quickly. Laughing may make the person think you were purposely driving slow to make him mad.

I can't definitively answer your question, though I suspect that it's not "de-escalating". That said, years ago, I decided to take the route you just took. It occurred to me that if ever there was an altercation, "He cut me off, I laughed it off, and he went ballistic" would sound a lot better to the authorities (for me) than "He cut me off, I flipped him off, and he went ballistic". I also disccovered it's more effective (probably makes them feel a bit embarrassed), and it definitely makes me feel better.

And the really funny thing is, if/when they get even more road-ragier, you can't help but laugh even more.

Yeah, that's not de-escalating. Guess I'm probably going to have to be guilty on this one for a while longer...

Keith B wrote:I find it best to sit there with a straight face and be dialing the phone. That usually deescalates the event pretty quickly. Laughing may make the person think you were purposely driving slow to make him mad.

True... I only considered that possibility after the fact.
I wasn't laughing or reacting to him in any way while I was in front of him. Didn't slow down, didn't speed up.
Just pointed at the speed limit sign the one time.
"In the moment" when he stopped his car in front of me, I thought it was too-funny that the guy was soooo upset about my driving not-far-enough OVER the speed limit.

brake stabs are nothing new to people that drive a truck. you can seen most of them coming just by the way the driver comes around you. you at 30 is nothing try being in an 18 wheeler at 55 and a clown does it

Off topic for a moment but you just described every hiway and most major side roads in the DFW area "under construction"

Back on topic--I agree with Keith, just stop and put your cell phone to your ear usually will de-escalates faster than anything

What is really funny is when you are observing the speed-limit and annoying the people behind you.

What is really funny is being in a hurry and being annoyed at the guy ahead of you doing the speed limit.

What is really, really funny is that I do find myself filling both of the roles described from time-to-time and realizing just how silly I am.

Another example of why I have a camera in the windshield of my car.

1080p / 30 fps /160 degree view.

Great ability to see license plates, cars, signal lights, all the road rage stuff that goes on in front of me.
Behind me....no view of that. But you can tell very easily what's going on by what the front of my car is doing in the video.

With known distances between landmarks, you could calculate my average speed - kinda like VASCAR the cops used to use.

I never go anywhere without it. And since my driving habits are being filmed as well....its a good check on me. Hey, I'm only human....I think.

That peeves me too when people behind me get angry when I drive the speed limit or stop at stop signs.

barstoolguru wrote:brake stabs are nothing new to people that drive a truck. you can seen most of them coming just by the way the driver comes around you. you at 30 is nothing try being in an 18 wheeler at 55 and a clown does it

Pssh... try being the clown who's dumb enough to do that to an 18-wheeler. With so much stupid, that will be a hard life (possible short, too).

What are your comments on this, then? Kind of the opposite.

I was headed down Spur 482 on the way home in Dallas yesterday. Shortly after I got on 482, a clown pulled out in front of the guy in front of the guy I was following, causing me to brake and slow down. The guy in front of me had to hit his brakes pretty hard to avoid hitting the clown.

I didn't think any more about this. We went through the light and the speed limit goes up to 55 or 60 just after the light. Traffic spread out and I was in the right lane so I could exit when I got to Loop 12 southbound.

The clown that pulled out and made everyone slow down was in the left lane and decided he needed to change to the right lane in front of me, where I rolled up behind him because he was going slower. He immediately jammed his brakes because, I guess, he didn't think I should be following closely. I had just been driving along minding my own business. The clown continued jamming on his brakes until he exited on Carl Road and I went south on Loop 12.

What really chapped me was this guy nearly caused 2 accidents within 2 miles of driving and he would swear probably that it was everyone else's fault but his.

Like George Carlin said you are either an idiot or a maniac if you don't drive like I do...

As I have told my kids several times, if the person is doing the speed limit, then you can't get mad about it. They're following the law. I only get upset when someone is going well under the speed limit, and I can see its because they are doing something such as texting while driving. Because I feel that they are impeding traffic flow AND creating an unsafe condition, more-so than someone who is over the speed limit by a couple of mph but focused on their driving and the situation around them. I don't text while I drive, and I only talk on the cell while driving when out on open highway stretches, never in congested conditions or city streets. There are far too many idiots in our fantastic Metroplex, and after driving for so many years in California, I think that is saying something.

mikeintexas wrote:What are your comments on this, then? Kind of the opposite.

I was headed down Spur 482 on the way home in Dallas yesterday. Shortly after I got on 482, a clown pulled out in front of the guy in front of the guy I was following, causing me to brake and slow down. The guy in front of me had to hit his brakes pretty hard to avoid hitting the clown.

I didn't think any more about this. We went through the light and the speed limit goes up to 55 or 60 just after the light. Traffic spread out and I was in the right lane so I could exit when I got to Loop 12 southbound.

The clown that pulled out and made everyone slow down was in the left lane and decided he needed to change to the right lane in front of me, where I rolled up behind him because he was going slower. He immediately jammed his brakes because, I guess, he didn't think I should be following closely. I had just been driving along minding my own business. The clown continued jamming on his brakes until he exited on Carl Road and I went south on Loop 12.

What really chapped me was this guy nearly caused 2 accidents within 2 miles of driving and he would swear probably that it was everyone else's fault but his.

If you're asking me, that guy's a dangerous driver. Whether that's due to malice or idiocy, I couldn't say, but I kinda suspect "he'll have a hard life"... Making someone think on their toes when they're in control of a 2-ton, 60mph ball of glass & steel filled with an explosive liquid is never a good idea.