My hands are deadly weapons!!!

[Purpletj]

You guys are forgetting the most deadliest person in the word.

Chuck Norris.

[nitrogen]

One of my coworkers used to claim this; and I had to work weekends with the guy.

I finally asked him, "O Really, what agency in Texas handles the registration?"
"The same agency that registers firearms in Texas"
"Uh huh."

You can figure out on your own how it went from there.

[C-dub]

Can we go back to scenario C for a moment?

What if the BG had threatened that if the woman called the police he would come back and kill her? Since he had her purse, that probably had her wallet with personal information in it, he would have the opportunity at any time. What if it were my wife's purse while she was waiting outside for me to get something inside and I came out while the BG was running away?

Sorry about the "what if's." I just thought I'd ask.

[roberts]

Can we go back to scenario C for a moment?

If he's running away you're shooting to recover stolen property, not shooting to protect human life.

[roberts]

I went to a party at a friends house and everything was good at first, until uninvited people started to show up. (friends of friends) I looked at the door as a young male entered looking particularly thugish. Turns out hes a 20-some-odd yr old double felon and made darn sure to tell every girl there this information...i guess as a pick up line.

I was pretty much done hanging out and was about to leave when I hear this guy going on about how when he got out of prison he started studying martial arts...so much that now he has to register himself as a deadly weapon.

Thug boy is compensating for a shortcoming. A very shortcoming, if you know what I mean.

[C-dub]

Can we go back to scenario C for a moment?

If he's running away you're shooting to recover stolen property, not shooting to protect human life.

That's what I thought.

I'm not sure I would shoot at this point, though. I would probably give chase and then if he threatened me I would shoot.

[TxRVer]

So, if the guy removes his hands from his pocket is he guilty of brandishing a lethal weapon? Is it legal to shoot him at that point?

[jimlongley]

So, if the guy removes his hands from his pocket is he guilty of brandishing a lethal weapon? Is it legal to shoot him at that point?

Yup, force continuum.

[Chemist45]

OK. I'm not sure if this is the origin, but here is my recollection of the phrase:
There used to be a TV show in the 60s called "The Dick Vandyke Show" starring, of course - Dick Vandyke.
For those of you younger folks, he was a very skinny guy who played something of a wimp and a giant klutz.
The show always opened with him tripping over something.

In one episode, he took a class in Karate.
After completing his course, he came home and told his wife: "These hands are now registered as lethal weapons."
Picture the skinniest, wimpiest, klutziest guy you know saying that and you will understand why it was so funny I remember it all these years later.

[John]

oh yeah... he was registered. Finger printed his hands and everything. When he was jailed.

[dadoo]

My hands MUST be registered. Just pull my finger

After many years of Martial Arts study, starting in the late 60's, I had an opportunity to study under a true, world-renowned Grand Master. In his words "if you must talk about, you probably can't do it".

[Purplehood]

One of my coworkers used to claim this; and I had to work weekends with the guy.

I finally asked him, "O Really, what agency in Texas handles the registration?"
"The same agency that registers firearms in Texas"
"Uh huh."

You can figure out on your own how it went from there.

Oh? I work with that Agency on a regular basis! What a coincidence.

[kitty]

This is such a great fun thread!!!

My husband and I are over this.

[bdickens]

I like the people who have claimed to have been and done various things in the Army. I just pepper my conversation with those phrases and jargon that only people who have actually been in the Army say and smirk at their confused look.

[fickman]

But what started happening in the '90s, after the mega-dojo business concept proved unviable, was even more disturbing: people founding and naming their own systems of martial arts and promoting themselves accordingly to "grand master"...in seemingly every neighborhood of every city in the U.S.

These small schools started springing up like Orville Redenbacher's popcorn. And even a (slightly) more informed public had a hard time chipping through the obfuscation to determine who was real and who wasn't. (Hint: By a landslide percentage, most self-acclaimed "masters" are not. Check the bio very closely.

Time to apologize to Rex and the students of Rex-Kwon-Do.

You don't want a roundhouse kick to the face while he's wearing those bad boys.
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=PKmUsVeKp1o[/youtube]