Would you press charges?
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Re: Would you press charges?
I'm not a lawyer, don't play one on TV, and have never stayed in a Holiday Inn Express, but (FWIW) I think you ought to see a lawyer. Discuss the options (civil suit/criminal charges) with the attorney. Find out how long you can legally wait before filing a civil action (two years?). If your "friend" had had a few too many and this was alcohol-fueled, let him know you will sue unless he seeks treatment.
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Re: Would you press charges?
I agree with what has already been said. I would not press charges under the circumstances....along as he has agreed to pay all your medical bills. And also, I would dissociate myself from this person. It is evident he needs some professional help. I have known people like this in the past, they are nothing but trouble and the best thing to do is put distance between you and them. I am not trying to be bossy, just my opinion. Sorry that your day turned out so bad.
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Re: Would you press charges?
If you have insurance, the insurance company would likely want re-imbursed also. Does he plan to re-imburse them too? Or, are you going to let them eat everything above deductibles and co-pays? If you take this option, then others insured, are effectively paying the bill. Is that fair to them?
If you have insurance you could easily exceed a normal/typical deductible. MRI, ambulance, ER (hospital), ER doctor, Radiologist, etc.
I would hate to be around your enemies if this is your friend.
If you have insurance you could easily exceed a normal/typical deductible. MRI, ambulance, ER (hospital), ER doctor, Radiologist, etc.
I would hate to be around your enemies if this is your friend.
Last edited by lws380 on Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Would you press charges?
Was he not arrested and charged anyway? If the police were involved what did they do with him while they waited for you to wake up?
This criminal need to be taken off the street just like any other.
This criminal need to be taken off the street just like any other.
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Re: Would you press charges?
In previous periods of my life, I probably would have been more forgiving and not pressed charges, but at my age (62) my inclination would be to press charges. I have learned that forgiveness is just fine in some circumstances, but in the ones you describe, the person who beat you into that condition should have been carted off in new silver bracelets and made to stand for all the penalties that accrue.
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Of course there are modifiers for everything.
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Re: Would you press charges?
I probably wouldn't press charges. Since you don't remember exactly what happened and don't describe exactly what the witnesses saw, a conviction may be hard to get. I would not continue to see this person, but pressing charges would also affect your relationships with everyone in the group. Not all the people are going to "take your side."Lumberjack98 wrote:Given the circumstances that you have outlined, I would not press charges. However I may not invite him over for any more parties either.
You may wait until you have all of your medical results in before you make your final decision though.
On the other hand, if your medical bills are significant, I would contact an attorney about a civil suit unless he immediately pays your current medical expenses. I know that I am a skeptic, but right now he is offering to pay for your medical expenses out of guilt or remorse, but when some time passes and he sees the cost of your medical care, I doubt that you will see any money from him.
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Re: Would you press charges?
I think I would press charges if he didn't cover the medical bills. If he tried to Obama out of his responsibility then he can tell it to the judge.
Either way I would stop hanging out with him even if that means I have to stop hanging out with other friends.
Either way I would stop hanging out with him even if that means I have to stop hanging out with other friends.
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Re: Would you press charges?
OK, I'll play the game.
We are looking at this as if this is the first time this person has ever physically assaulted somebody. What if he has done this before to others?
OK, he offers to pay the medical bills. Spouse beaters operate in the same fashion. They beat their partners up, then apologize profusely.
Personally, I probably would have filed charges. I seriously doubt that this was his first rodeo in the violence arena. This is an opportunity to start a legal paper trail of a trend of violent behavior that could escalate in the future.
If you woke up in an ambulance, he is no friend of yours.
We are looking at this as if this is the first time this person has ever physically assaulted somebody. What if he has done this before to others?
OK, he offers to pay the medical bills. Spouse beaters operate in the same fashion. They beat their partners up, then apologize profusely.
Personally, I probably would have filed charges. I seriously doubt that this was his first rodeo in the violence arena. This is an opportunity to start a legal paper trail of a trend of violent behavior that could escalate in the future.
If you woke up in an ambulance, he is no friend of yours.
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Re: Would you press charges?
anygunanywhere wrote:If alcohol was involved and contributed to his behavior I would press charges if he did not agree to a treatment program.
Anygunanywhere
sounds like he needs some help!
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Re: Would you press charges?
Is this guy a long time friend? Depending on how close of a friend he is would weigh alot on my decision. Has he apologized? Does he feel remorse for what hje did? These are things I would consider before making this decision. I know if he had been a long time friend and showed that he was truly sorry and wanted to pay for my medical expenses and maybe throw in a I am sorry gift...(say a 40 cal or a 38 special) I would not press charges. If not I would file charges in a heartbeat.
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Re: Would you press charges?
If it's a long time buddy and this is the first time that something like this has ever happened, then I would not press charges.
If it's happened before then he needs help and help may start out sitting in a jail cell.
If it's happened before then he needs help and help may start out sitting in a jail cell.
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Re: Would you press charges?
If you have health insurance, you have a deductable and co pays.
ED expenses can run rather high; ED doc is about $300, ED visit can run up to $500, MRI is over $1000, XRays $2 to $500, radiologist $350, plus any other stuff.
It will show up on your credit if you do not have insurance and with insurance, the company will want to know what happened.
His home/ renters insurance will cover some expenses if you do not have health insurance. If he has any.
just my 2 cents.
texasag
ED expenses can run rather high; ED doc is about $300, ED visit can run up to $500, MRI is over $1000, XRays $2 to $500, radiologist $350, plus any other stuff.
It will show up on your credit if you do not have insurance and with insurance, the company will want to know what happened.
His home/ renters insurance will cover some expenses if you do not have health insurance. If he has any.
just my 2 cents.
texasag
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Re: Would you press charges?
If I didn't press charges, I'd tell him I reserve the right to stomp the snot out of him at a later date.
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Re: Would you press charges?
As usual, the entire story isn't known....but, I'd say press charges. While I agree that a lengthy friendship may sometimes be the basis for letting some types of poor behavior slide in certain circumstances, there's simply no excuse for that what was described here.
I'd also say that you're letting the guy off easy by allowing him to simply pay the medical bills. It sounds like he may have done something like this before and offering to pay the bills may have settled that one. As someone wrote, this is probably not his first rodeo of this nature.
I'd also say that you're letting the guy off easy by allowing him to simply pay the medical bills. It sounds like he may have done something like this before and offering to pay the bills may have settled that one. As someone wrote, this is probably not his first rodeo of this nature.
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Re: Would you press charges?
As I am involved as a leader in the Celebrate Recovery ministry at my church, I have a somewhat different perspective. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered 12 step recovery ministry for people who desire recovery from whatever has them in bondage. It sounds to me like your friend is to some degree or other in bondage to his alcohol. I realize that my advice might not fit your belief system since I don't know anything about your faith life or even if you have one. And even if you do, I realize that your personal church may not offer this service; but if it doesn't, lots of other churches do.
In any case, my advice would be to A) forgive him for what he did; B) find a church in your area that offers a Celebrate Recovery ministry; C) invite him to go with you to attend a Celebrate Recovery service; and D) keep the relationship alive, but don't incorporate alcohol as a component of your friendship any longer, in the spirit of Romans 14:13 ("Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way".).
Your friend sinned against you. It sounds as if he is repentant and willing to make restitution. I think the right thing to do would be to forgive him, and, not to just forgive him, but go the extra step like Jesus did for us by offering to be part of your friend's redemption.
If you want to know more about Celebrate Recovery, please feel free to PM me.
In any case, my advice would be to A) forgive him for what he did; B) find a church in your area that offers a Celebrate Recovery ministry; C) invite him to go with you to attend a Celebrate Recovery service; and D) keep the relationship alive, but don't incorporate alcohol as a component of your friendship any longer, in the spirit of Romans 14:13 ("Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way".).
Your friend sinned against you. It sounds as if he is repentant and willing to make restitution. I think the right thing to do would be to forgive him, and, not to just forgive him, but go the extra step like Jesus did for us by offering to be part of your friend's redemption.
If you want to know more about Celebrate Recovery, please feel free to PM me.
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