Visiting friends' homes

[neilp]

Having recently received my CHL I'm finding that I hadn't thought through one aspect of carrying. I generally do not plan to be telling anyone that I am carrying, including friends and family.

Having said that it is appropriate to carry in a friend's home without telling them? I know some would not mind at all. I'm not sure about others. For example I play in a couple of local bands and we rehearse in band members' homes. While I've known these folks a few months I'm not sure where they stand on gun issues. Taking the gun off in the car would be difficult as we often meet outside and help each other load in.

What do other members here do in these situations?

[randomoutburst]

I think carrying is your own business and I would adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy myself.
Now would be a good opportunity to find out how your friends feel about guns. If you don't feel comfortable carrying in a friend's home when they aren't comfortable with guns, ask them if they would rather you leave it in your car. If you gather that they support gun rights, you should probably still ask but are less likely to be told your gun isn't welcome.
Of course, in the case that your friends don't view guns the same way you do, it would be a great opportunity to open up a discussion on why you carry and why you feel it keeps you safe.

I know I said I would carry in friends' homes without asking but if you aren't as comfortable with that as I am, I would ask your friends if only to ease your own discomfort.

[longtooth]

I carry where ever I go. quality gear & no one will know. You dont feel that you need to inform them of your pocket knife they cannot see.

[C-dub]

My family knows. I told them ahead of time that I was getting a CHL and out of respect for them asked for their permission to carry in their houses. I was always very playful my nephews and nieces and figured they might notice a change. I still did, but would remove it before playing. The kids were all on the verge of getting too old to play around with their uncle like that anyway. My sister was the only one that hesitated even slightly, but still said yes. She didn't even think about it for couple of years and then startled herself one time giving me a hug and put her hand on it.

I only asked one friend because his daughter are like nieces to me. He didn't hesitate and said he would get one too, but his wife wouldn't let him. Because of that I asked if it would be okay with her and he said that was my problem. He actually said that since he gave me permission she'd just have to deal with it. I thought this ran counter to her not letting him get one, but whatever.

[No Bama Man]

To me the safest place for the gun is on me as far as children go and since I dont know if or when I will need it for self defense I carry 24/7.
Just this past saturday the wife and me were at a friends house enjoying food and drink. Well as we were leaving we were all standing in the living room saying our goodbyes when a female friend put her hand on my shoulder while telling me something. As she brought her hand down she bumped may Glock 27 in my IWB high noon bare assets holster at 3 - 3:30. She says loudly "whats that? Is it a gun?" And proceed to pull my shirt up to confirm it to everyone. I had been outed.
It was uncomfortable and I wish it had not of happened but it wont change anything. Until I know in advance exactly when I will need it I will continue to carry 24/7.

Dean

[NAVY CHIEF]

".... Until I know in advance exactly when I will need it I will continue to carry 24/7."

Dean

Boy, if we all knew THAT, then we would only have to carry it and use it THEN! Know how you feel, though. It would be nice, huh? (But wouldn't that makes us some sort of psychics? )

"Carry" on! (Navy terminology - without the quotation marks, of course)

Hooyah!

[LaserTex]

I know I saw it on this forum. Something to the effect of "talking about my concealed carry is like talking about wearing underwear. You don't mention your underwear so you don't mention your concealed wear either." Something along that line.

So - No - I wouldn't say anything about my gun.

Doug

[frazzled]

Its an interesting question though, thinking from the homeowner perspective. I have at least two friends with CHL and its assumed they carry all the time. But other friends I don't know about-interesting.

I guess the issue for me would be if they had a CHL. If they just come in and don't and I don't know ahead of time that might be an issue.

[The Annoyed Man]

If you go back and look at some of my very first posts on this board, you'll see that I had a very different take on it than I do now. Back then, while I was still waiting for my plastic to come, I was dead set against the idea of someone unknown to me carrying into my home, and I didn't care whether or not they had their CHL. I had a small number of close friends with whom I would have been comfortable with it, but that comfort did not extend to people I did not know well and consider a good friend.

After my plastic arrived and I had been carrying for a couple of weeks and was getting used to it, I had a couple of opportunities to test my beliefs when carrying into my friends' homes. I decided that I had been a schmuck earlier. Of course I was no threat to the home owner. Taken another way, I actually added to their home's security - even though they might not have realized it at the time. Since then, a year and a half has gone by, and a number of our friends now know that both my wife and I have permits and carry guns. Some are intrigued and want to know more, some are amused and make jokes about feeling safer when my wife and I are around, and some seem to have no opinion one way or the other. But I have yet to have a friend ask me to leave my weapon in the car... ...so I don't.

If I am ever asked to disarm, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, but I expect I will honor their request. Losing a friendship over it just isn't worth it. That said, I would try to win them over with reason - including the one that points out that they did not consider me a threat before they knew about the gun, so how does the gun change that?

[seamusTX]

... is appropriate to carry in a friend's home without telling them?

Legally, yes.

Ethically, yes, in my opinion.

If a person does not want a certain thing in his or her home, it is that person's responsibility to say so in advance. I have heard of PeTA kooks who will not allow anyone wearing leather into their home.

What is the difference between a friend, relative, acquaintance, or contractor carrying a concealed weapon in your home versus sitting next to a complete stranger who is carrying in a public place?

BTW, in Arkansas you are legally obligated inform a resident before entering his or her home with a concealed weapon. As far as I know, only Arkansas has such a requirement.

- Jim

[bdickens]

Do you feel the need to ask your friends' permission to enter their houses carrying books or newspapers?

[gunlock]

BTW, in Arkansas you are legally obligated inform a resident before entering his or her home with a concealed weapon. As far as I know, only Arkansas has such a requirement.

Louisiana has this requirement as well as I found out last year when I visited.

"The provisions of R.S. 40:1379.3 (N) shall not limit the right of a property owner, lessee, or other lawful custodian to prohibit or restrict access of those persons possessing a concealed handgun pursuant to a permit issued under this Section. No individual to whom a concealed handgun permit is issued may carry such concealed handgun into the private residence of another without first receiving the consent of that person."

Taken from here: http://www.lsp.org/handguns.html#prohibited" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A friend of mine who had mentioned he would like to go to range sometime, was unaware that I had a CHL. I made the mistake of telling him that I always carry. He asked if I am carrying right now, as in, in his house without him knowing. I said yes, and I have carried everytime I've visited. He seemed ok with it at the moment but a few days later he told me he's not comfortable having someone with a gun in his house and asked that I no longer bring it in his home. Needless to say, I no longer visit.

I no longer tell anyone I meet that I carry, unless I glean that the person carries as well.

[seamusTX]

Thanks for the info.

I have in-laws in Louisiana.

- Jim

[redoregon]

Do you feel the need to ask your friends' permission to enter their houses carrying books or newspapers?

Or a pocketknife, or a multi-tool, or a walking stick, or a stout umbrella? All just tools...

[Dan20703]

I just treat it the same as when I'm in a public place. When concealed, nobody ever knows if you don't ever talk about it. I have always kept my CHL very private.