Now this is the reason why I carry

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The Annoyed Man
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#76

Post by The Annoyed Man »

alittlejoy1960 wrote:First time poster here. I've read, or rather my husband - oljames3 has pointed out as he so often does many posts on here that interest me. I think he does that to "strongly encourage" me to start carrying on my body. And I thought it was us wives who did most of the nagging. :biggrinjester:

This is the first time that I have felt compelled to respond.

I had a situation that made me want to change the way I carry. I normally carry in my conceal carry purse, if I carry at all. The night I'm about to tell you about, I wasn't carrying at all. I was frustrated with 'Mr. aliitlejoy1960' and decided that I needed to walk it off. We live on a corner. I walked outside and was approaching the corner when I noticed the silhouette of someone walking in my direction coming up the street. (Thank goodness for situational awareness.) I crossed the street and the silhouette of a man also crossed the street. At that point the hairs on the back of my neck that had already started standing up when I saw him were at full attention. I kept thinking why the heck didn't I bring my phone or my pistol. I crossed back and started towards my front porch. When I got to the porch, the man stopped and was just standing there watching me. Now, I know that I didn't know the intention of that man. But I did know that I didn't want to find out either. I went back into the house and went to the bedroom to calm down. After, I told my husband about the incident. That silhouette was the last thing I thought about that night before going to sleep and the first thing I thought of when I woke the next morning. It had affected me more than I thought. Since then, we have been talking about better ways for me to carry - and all are on my body. We even bought me a different pistol to carry. We went to a gun range that allowed me to try several different pistols. My problem has been being able to manipulate the slide. I found one that I could easily manipulate and feels right in my hands - a Walther PPS M2. The next day, I bought that pistol.

My next step is to find a way for me to carry comfortably on my body. I have a rather large top, small waist, and large bottom. Most of the videos of women I see carrying are mostly straight with no defined waist. A lot of the methods in which women carry don't work for me. I'm still searching for what will work best for me... and I won't stop until I find one.
SewTexas wrote:
alittlejoy1960 wrote:

My next step is to find a way for me to carry comfortably on my body. I have a rather large top, small waist, and large bottom. Most of the videos of women I see carrying are mostly straight with no defined waist. A lot of the methods in which women carry don't work for me. I'm still searching for what will work best for me... and I won't stop until I find one.
Welcome Alittlejoy1960, I carry a Curve or an LCP pretty much all the time, seldom in my purse. With Jeans I use an IWB hoster from Kusiak for my LCP. With leggings I took a corset from WM, added some elastic and ended up with a corset holster along the lines of Dene Adams. For dresses and skirts I took some compression undershorts from WM along with some clearance compression under stuffs, added some pockets on the legs and at the waist and they are perfect.
Thank you both for responding. It’s always refreshing to get the women’s perspective when this subject comes up. In the case of my wife, she currently owns 3 pistols - a Glock 19, a Glock 43, and a S&W 642 .38 (she owns an AR15 carbine too, but that’s outside the scope of this discussion). The .38 was her first gun, a Valentines Day gift from me. She carried it for a short time, but she didn’t like shooting it much because of the trigger pull effort. She purchased the G19 the day after she took her first CHL class, because she shot one when she took the NRA Basic Handgun class, and liked it enough to rent one for her CHL range qualification. She shoots it just fine, but it just doesn’t work for her as a carry weapon because of its size and weight. (Of course, if she belt-carried it, she wouldn’t notice the size and weight as much, but she has so far refused to belt-carry.) For a while, she carried a Kahr CW9, which was fine as far as size, but when the G43 came out, we sold the CW9 and bought her the G43 because it was - other than being narrower - ergonomically similar to her G19, and maybe just a tad smaller than the CW9. She likes the G43 just fine, and shoots it reasonably well, but she just basically refuses to carry any other way but her purse.

A few years ago, she had me buy her two belly band holsters and one pistol-wear under arm holster from The Well Armed Woman. She tried them out, and says that she likes them......but she rarely ever uses any of them. The only time she does, is when something has scared her, and she reverts to on-body carry for a day or two. But, usually within 48 hours, she’s right back to purse carry. I have a theory.... my wife is a “Proverbs 31 Woman”, and she is never still unless she is just conked out. She is always in motion. I think that often, she is so focused on whatever is her next task, that she rushes through the current one. When the current task is “getting dressed to go out”, she just finds it easier to throw the gun into her purse, than it is to slow down, and take the time to get the holster on and the gun comfortably positioned. At least that’s my theory.

She’s been this way as long as I’ve known her, and when she came to Christ at my side (we both answered the same alter call, neither of us aware that the other one was....eyes closed, heads down kind of thing), the kingdom gained a mighty prayer warrior. She is a gift to me. But if she has a fly in her ointment, it is her habit of rushing from task to task, without sometimes allowing herself to slow down, pause, assess, and focus on certain things. I think that how she carries her gun is one of those daily things that she just doesn’t spend much time on, and I learned 30 years ago when we first got married that browbeating her about anything isn’t going to get either of us very far.

I am the head of my household, but I listen to her wisdom before I make any decisions for our family. About half the time, the decision is to do whatever she advises, because it’s the right thing to do for that situation. For instance, I never send off a stern email to a disappointing service-provider without first reading it to her over and over as I compose it, to make sure that it has the right tone so that I don’t scorch the earth. But I’m the one who decides the email needs writing, and then executes it. But sometimes, it just doesn’t seem to matter what I say, she’s going to do what she’s going to do. It’s not defiance so much as I think she sees some things as not really needing my input.....like what kind of underwear she buys herself, or how she wants to wear her hair, for instance. It turns out, it seems, that how she chooses to carry is one of those things too.

It’s not a fight I can win.....and it’s not really a “fight” anyway. It’s just that she doesn’t attach the same importance to it as do I. Alittlejoy1960 (Welcome to the forum, by the way), I think you’re right...... my wife is going to have to have the kind of experiences you had before she takes on-body carry seriously enough to make it her habit. It is my prayer that the Lord keep her and protect her until then, and beyond.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

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srothstein
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#77

Post by srothstein »

TAM,

I am glad the other women posted first, because I had a suggestion for a possible compromise. I agree that on body carry is the way to go, but quick and sure access in her purse MIGHT be an acceptable second place. So, I was going to suggest a compromise that you might try. Get her a purse designed for concealed carry. Many or most of them will have a way to get the pistol in a holster secured where you can always reach in and grab it. It may be in a compartment on its own or just secured to a wall in one of the main compartments, but it is designed to keep it where you can find it.

I have an Uncle Mike's briefcase that works like this. It was actually issued by TABC way back, so we could carry reports and look somewhat professional. It has a holster velcroed into a specific location in a separate pocket. The main compartment is covered by a flap, but the holster pocket is just velcroed shut at the top. If you know what you are looking for for, it is relatively easy to see that the pocket is there but not what is in it. To someone who is not in the know, the pocket is not even visible. The best part is that the pocket comes open very quickly to get the pistol out. I imagine the women's purses will work in a very similar fashion.

Since Alittlejoy1960 mentioned she has a concealed carry purse, she might be able to clarify this a little. But I think something like this would be a step up from just dropping a pistol into the regular purse and then trying to find it again. And very few wives will argue with a husband suggesting they get a new purse or two. That might be a point in its favor all on its own.
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alittlejoy1960
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#78

Post by alittlejoy1960 »

srothstein wrote:Since Alittlejoy1960 mentioned she has a concealed carry purse, she might be able to clarify this a little. But I think something like this would be a step up from just dropping a pistol into the regular purse and then trying to find it again. And very few wives will argue with a husband suggesting they get a new purse or two. That might be a point in its favor all on its own.
I do have a couple of concealed carry purses. The first one I got was quite small on the inside. The conceal carry pocket was adequate for my Ruger LCR 38. But the rest of the purse wasn't large enough for everything else that I have become accustomed to carrying. I stopped carrying it after a short time. Much later... 3 or 4 years, I purchased another purse that was much larger on the inside. I carry that one exclusively now. The brand is Roma and I ordered it online. One thing that I like about carrying a dedicated concealed carry purse is that the zippers on each end of the concealed carry compartment locks. That way, whenever I know I'm going to be somewhere with children, I can lock my pocket with worry that nosy little fingers will find my firearm. There is no fumbling around inside feeling for my firearm.
The Annoyed Man wrote:We’ll be heading over to my son’s inlaws’ house this afternoon for a big family Thanksgiving dinner. This morning, as I was getting out of bed, she told me she was removing her gun from her purse because she said that she wasn’t comfortable leaving her purse laying around there with all the little kids that will be running around that house.
The Annoyed Man - You may try suggesting to your wife getting a concealed carry purse so that the carry compartment can be locked. That should put her mind at ease about leaving her pistol in her purse with children running around.

The website is http://www.romagunbags.com/ and the model number of mine is 7008. They have several different styles from which to choose. (Disclaimer: I have no interest in romagunbags other than really liking the purse that I carry. ;-) )
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#79

Post by The Annoyed Man »

alittlejoy1960 wrote:
srothstein wrote:Since Alittlejoy1960 mentioned she has a concealed carry purse, she might be able to clarify this a little. But I think something like this would be a step up from just dropping a pistol into the regular purse and then trying to find it again. And very few wives will argue with a husband suggesting they get a new purse or two. That might be a point in its favor all on its own.
I do have a couple of concealed carry purses. The first one I got was quite small on the inside. The conceal carry pocket was adequate for my Ruger LCR 38. But the rest of the purse wasn't large enough for everything else that I have become accustomed to carrying. I stopped carrying it after a short time. Much later... 3 or 4 years, I purchased another purse that was much larger on the inside. I carry that one exclusively now. The brand is Roma and I ordered it online. One thing that I like about carrying a dedicated concealed carry purse is that the zippers on each end of the concealed carry compartment locks. That way, whenever I know I'm going to be somewhere with children, I can lock my pocket with worry that nosy little fingers will find my firearm. There is no fumbling around inside feeling for my firearm.
The Annoyed Man wrote:We’ll be heading over to my son’s inlaws’ house this afternoon for a big family Thanksgiving dinner. This morning, as I was getting out of bed, she told me she was removing her gun from her purse because she said that she wasn’t comfortable leaving her purse laying around there with all the little kids that will be running around that house.
The Annoyed Man - You may try suggesting to your wife getting a concealed carry purse so that the carry compartment can be locked. That should put her mind at ease about leaving her pistol in her purse with children running around.

The website is http://www.romagunbags.com/ and the model number of mine is 7008. They have several different styles from which to choose. (Disclaimer: I have no interest in romagunbags other than really liking the purse that I carry. ;-) )
She has three concealed carry purses, two of which I bought her. She uses them about half the time. She also has a REALLY nice kydex appendix carry IWB holster my son made her. I at least convinced her to keep the gun in that holster when she doesn’t use a concealed carry purse, so that she doesn’t get a pen or a lipstick stuck in the trigger and have a bad day.

My wife is not a ditz. Those members who’ve met her would agree that she is a bright and engaged person. But this is one area that she just refuses to be disciplined about, and to be honest, I sometimes wonder if it isn’t just because she’s being deliberately mule-headed about it. I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not a battle I can win, so this isn’t one of those hills I want to stake our relationship on.

I just wish she were more focused and serious about it.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

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alittlejoy1960
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#80

Post by alittlejoy1960 »

The Annoyed Man wrote: My wife is not a ditz. Those members who’ve met her would agree that she is a bright and engaged person. But this is one area that she just refuses to be disciplined about, and to be honest, I sometimes wonder if it isn’t just because she’s being deliberately mule-headed about it. I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not a battle I can win, so this isn’t one of those hills I want to stake our relationship on.

I just wish she were more focused and serious about it.
My husband would probably also say that I can be deliberately mule-headed. He would be right. Until I had a close encounter of the most unwelcome kind, I WAS being mule-headed. I don't like to be told what to do... even though I know that he only has my best interest and safety in mind. But that night changed my mindset.
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Pritchical
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#81

Post by Pritchical »

I'm in this same boat with my soon-to-be-wife. She's a teacher though, so I worry about her carrying in a CCW purse. I just know there would be that day she forgets she's carrying, and she'd carry right into the school.
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The Annoyed Man
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#82

Post by The Annoyed Man »

alittlejoy1960 wrote:
The Annoyed Man wrote: My wife is not a ditz. Those members who’ve met her would agree that she is a bright and engaged person. But this is one area that she just refuses to be disciplined about, and to be honest, I sometimes wonder if it isn’t just because she’s being deliberately mule-headed about it. I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s not a battle I can win, so this isn’t one of those hills I want to stake our relationship on.

I just wish she were more focused and serious about it.
My husband would probably also say that I can be deliberately mule-headed. He would be right. Until I had a close encounter of the most unwelcome kind, I WAS being mule-headed. I don't like to be told what to do... even though I know that he only has my best interest and safety in mind. But that night changed my mindset.
I’m sure it did, and I’m sure it would probably change my wife’s as well.....she’s not a dummy. But nobody would wish that kind of experience on anyone - let alone someone they loved. So I’m grateful that it hasn’t happened yet, and I pray that it never does.

It would be nice though if she were to come to that conclusion on her own, without having to have that kind of experience.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"

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RogueUSMC
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#83

Post by RogueUSMC »

My wife purse carries most of the time. She carries on her body when she goes walking...unless I am walking with her then she lets me carry and goes without... :roll:

Now, used to, she would hardly carry but she is carrying a gun with her more than not so I am making some kind of progress... :biggrinjester:
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jason812
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#84

Post by jason812 »

I wish I could get my wife to read alittlejoy's post. Her license is up for her first renewal and I'm proud that since she's had it, she always has her little .380 with her. I've gotten her to recognize unenforceable signs and carry places that the average person believes is off limits. I just really wish I could get her to carry on person. She thinks her purse is quick enough. Maybe I need to get a rubber knife and plastic pistol and see if that will change her mind...
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#85

Post by rp_photo »

A thinly-veiled robbery to say the least.

One reason they keep doing this is that too many citizens sheepishly comply. A step down on this scheme would be the window washers seen at intersections all over town. What angers me most is that so many people just pay them rather than saying "no thanks" one way or another before they get started. Has anyone ever felt the need to ready or draw when dealing with one of them?
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spectre
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#86

Post by spectre »

I carry to protect myself and my tribe. I don't carry to protect unarmed strangers. I'm not a cop. I'm not Batman. If someone doesn't care enough to carry, I will respect their choice and call 911.
I'm in a good place right now
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oljames3
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#87

Post by oljames3 »

rp_photo wrote:A thinly-veiled robbery to say the least.

One reason they keep doing this is that too many citizens sheepishly comply. A step down on this scheme would be the window washers seen at intersections all over town. What angers me most is that so many people just pay them rather than saying "no thanks" one way or another before they get started. Has anyone ever felt the need to ready or draw when dealing with one of them?
No.
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mojo84
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#88

Post by mojo84 »

rp_photo wrote: One reason they keep doing this is that too many citizens sheepishly comply. A step down on this scheme would be the window washers seen at intersections all over town. What angers me most is that so many people just pay them rather than saying "no thanks" one way or another before they get started. Has anyone ever felt the need to ready or draw when dealing with one of them?
No. When I lived in Houston there were a couple that persisted after I told them no. I turned the windshield washer and wipers on and that convinced them to back off.

Never thought of pulling a gun in those situations.
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#89

Post by Dp-12 »

1911 Raptor wrote:
Chemist45 wrote:I love this!
This is a great illustration of the quote: "Society is safer when criminals don't know who is armed."
The OP did not draw his weapon and did not have to.
The bad guys didn't know if he was carrying or not, but decided to act as if he was.

Had this been NYC or Chicago, the bad guys probably would have taken a chance that the man wasn't armed.
But this is Texas, and the chances are very good that the good guy would be armed.
I am in the camp that if the OP had been open carrying the pipe never would have been presented and they would have left without any verbal dialog. That is just MHO.
So am I.
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Re: Now this is the reason why I carry

#90

Post by Deltaboy »

Good job you handled it just right! :tiphat:
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