Wife's perception on CHL

[rkeller]

One day after I had my CHL, the wife and I were out somewhere (I cannot remember exactly where) and stuff started getting a little wierd. She leaned over to me and whispered "You do have your gun, right?". Although I do not wish this type of situation on you or your wife; when it happens (and it will), she will have been converted. Best of luck.

[pedalman]

My wife was used to me shooting IHMSA silhouette, so she didn't bat an eye when I recently announced I was buying a Glock and would be attending a CHL class in the near future.

She didn't even bat an eye.

I knew I married well.

[LarryH]

I married so well that my wife got her CHL first.

[pedalman]

I married so well that my wife got her CHL first.

Well played, my good man.

[pt145ss]

The situation with my wife was similar. She did not see the point in me getting my CHL. I went ahead and got it. I tried my best to avoid her seeing me put my holster on (this was to avoid any conversation about it). At first, she never knew if I was carrying or not. Then one day, while waiting for the optometrist office to open (an early Saturday morning) we were sitting in a parking. A guy showed up on foot…pacing and talking to himself. My wife was sitting in the car and I was outside the car (smoking) talking to her through her window. At some point my wife whispered “you do have your piece with you right?� I responded (with a big smile on my face)…Yes I do. At that point I knew that she could no longer think of me as being paranoid or anything of the sort. Although nothing came of the situation, I think she realized that one could find them selves in a predicament even in the most unlikely of places. Since then I have not heard any comments like…why do you need piece if you are just going to the grocery store.

[Tactical_Texan_CHL]

My wife recently had a similar change of views. We recently had a rash of assaults and robberies in our mall parking lot. One night, I looked at her as we were about to go to the mall and said, "I'm packing my little Kel-Tec tonight." She gave me a look, and I told her, "You have to admit, all the stuff happening at the mall has you a little concerned too." She looked at me and started to object, but then, she actually said, "Yeah, you're right." Unfortunately, she said it in a very defeated tone. We've been talking about it even more lately and she now understands my view of protecting her and the kids. She doesn't think she'll ever be comfortable enough to carry, but now, she's ok when I carry. She's concerned the kids will pick up some paranoid vibe from me. So I work as hard as I can to keep it low key and help her be comfortable with it. It's working out. I wish you the best of luck too!

[Venus Pax]

Most of my relatives thought that I was unwise for getting a CHL. Most have warmed up to the idea. Mars even got his last year.
Like many on this board have experienced, the rest of the world will do the convincing for you. All you have to do is be available to answer the question with "Yes, it's on my hip."

[thejtrain]

First thing to remember: all people are different, and what works for one spouse may completely backfire with yours. Case in point: my wife is as resistant as I am to someone trying to talk her into something. She's more likely to just shut the person up than to continue to listen - unless of course she initiates it or is already doing soul-searching on the subject herself. She had the same adverse reaction when I first mentioned buying a gun, and there was some heat. But over time (and we only ever talked about it when she brought it up) she was completely comfortable with having one in the house, even once telling me, as some here have noted, to take it with me when I investigated a noise downstairs.

Fast-forward a couple years to wanting a CHL - she was kinda resistant ("why do you need to carry it around?") at first, but not as strongly as she was earlier about just having one. Did the same kind of thing, didn't really discuss it unless she brought it up, and went ahead and scheduled a class on a Saturday, taking the Friday before off work so she could still have her "day off from the kids" while I was gone all day Saturday. She once asked me, in a neutral not accusatory tone, if I'd be carrying it everywhere we go. I kinda nonchalantly answered something like, "not necessarily" and "we'll just see how it goes" (thinking in my mind that the real answer is, "yes, unless I'm prevented from it"), and she seemed happy with that. Since getting my holster (tuckable IWB) late last week I started wearing the empty holster out and about (church twice over Easter weekend, lunches out, etc.) and wearing my Glock 30 in it around the house. She didn't notice, even when she had me untuck so she could take body mass index measurements (she's studying to be a personal trainer), and when I told her about it, she was impressed that she hadn't noticed and said it made sense to wear it around to get used to it. She did make one sarcastic crack about "just as long as you don't shoot me or the boys" (no offense meant or taken, you just have to know my wife and her personality), but we just smiled and went on our merry.

So my advice is to listen to her (and hear her when you do, inasmuch as it's possible for us males) and approach it in the way that seems best not to Paco the Gun Owner, but Paco the Husband, who knows Mrs. Paco better than anyone in the world. If she understands this:

Just tell them that your wife and family are precious to you and are worth defending

then given time and care (and, which goes without saying, continued level-headedness) she'll accept and appreciate what you do in pursuit of that noble goal. That's what got me interested in the first place - never had a thought to buying one until I got married and realized that this wonderful woman's safety was my responsibility and something happening to her that I couldn't prevent scared me a lot more than something happening to me (and she knows that).

JT

[Vic303]

Sorry you have this problem Paco. I sort have the opposite! My issue is whenever my spouse gets a new firearm, I want one TOO! It's a happy problem I guess. We both have our CHLs and carry daily--conditions permitting (spouse's job prohibits it totally

[flechero]

One day after I had my CHL, the wife and I were out somewhere (I cannot remember exactly where) and stuff started getting a little wierd. She leaned over to me and whispered "You do have your gun, right?". Although I do not wish this type of situation on you or your wife; when it happens (and it will), she will have been converted. Best of luck.

Pretty much the same thing with my wife and I. After a while, she'd began asking before we left the house, just to be sure I didn't forget it. ...lol

[doghouse]

I have to say that my wife was not on board witht he idea of my CHL. I decided last year that it was time to get my CHL. My biggest arguement with all who opposed was what happened when we all had to evacuate Houston and how people acted in a stat of emergency. Desperate people will do deperate things and I am not going to be another victim nor will my family. At first she said the same thing about wild west vigilante but I told her after educating myself with laws and thru this forum that it makes you think of the things you will have to go thru by acting like that.

[RHZig]

That's exactly why you just get it and don't tell anyone.