To apply or not to apply...

[A-R]

Sign the paycheck? No. Pay the rent/tuition? YES.

Well, you're an adult. Some decisions are difficult.

- Jim

At what point do you start leading your own life? Part of "growing up" is have the backbone to demand that others recognize that you are an adult who can and will make your own decisions about such things. As long as the decisions you make are legal AND ethical, your relatives/friends should (and likely will) be OK with it. They might razz you occassionally, but being an adult means having thick skin.

I don't mean this to sound preachy. It's just something that everyone has to go through at some point in their life - often multiple times.

But if YOU are not ready for the serious responsibility of carrying a gun, then DON'T DO IT! It's one thing if you're worried about what others will think. It's altogether different if what others will think is just a smoke-screen for your own insecurities about carrying a gun. Again, if YOU are not ready for it, then don't do it. If, God-forbid, you ever needed a gun for self-defense, indecisiveness is your worst enemy. You must be confident and sure of yourself when carrying at all times. Not cocky (certainly no room for macho displays of excess testosterone), but level-headed and secure in the knowledge that you are doing the right thing.

An

[The Annoyed Man]

Hand him one of two pre-written notes along with your ID, depending on your situation at the time.

1) "Hello officer. You'll see when you run my TDL that I have a CHL. I did not present it to you today because I am not carrying a weapon. I would prefer that my passengers are not informed that I hold a CHL. Thank you for your assistance in this regard."

2) "Hello officer. I have presented you with both my TDL and CHL. I am currently armed. The pistol is located on my right hip, under my shirt, in an IWB holster. My passengers are not aware of my holding a CHL, and I would very much prefer it to stay that way. Thank you for your assistance in this regard."

I'm wondering if anyone has actually tried this and what the results were, and/or what any LEOs here would think about it.

I honestly have no idea. See, if the LEO is a nice guy/gal, they'll probably respect your wishes. If they aren't, you're in for a heap of trouble anyway. This is why my very next paragraph stated:

Alternatively, you could try pursuing the more logical, safer, and mature approach. Stop driving like a philistine and slow down. Your passengers will be grateful. So will the other drivers on the road. And you won't have to win any driving awards from the local constabulary.

At the end of the day, seamusTX is right. Adult decisions are often difficult. Only you can decide how important any of this is to you. Maybe you're just not cut out for CHL at this point in your life. That's OK if you're not, but it is a decision you have to make. My personal opinion, which is worth exactly what it costs you, is that you should get the CHL. Having one doesn't mean you have to actually carry a gun at all times. It does mean that you can carry one if you feel the need, most particularly in situations when MPA doesn't cover your right to do so.

I assume that at least some of your friends/family know that you actually own at least one firearm? How big a deal is it that they know you own guns? If they do know, then how big a deal is it if they find out you have a CHL even if you aren't carrying? Also, if you are carrying under MPA with passengers in your car, and an officer asks you if you have a gun in the car, how are you going to answer that? How will you answer if he/she asks your permission to search your car? How will you answer if, in the process of checking out everyone in your car, it becomes apparent that one of your passengers has an outstanding warrant, and now you all get to sit on the curb wearing cuffs until it is all sorted out, and they find a gun in your car? Etc., etc., etc.

Yes, adult decisions are often difficult decisions. But one of the things you'll read over and over again on this forum is that - with the exception of a recalcitrant few - most people who get a CHL begin to modify their own behavior to some degree or other so as to draw less attention to themselves. These modifications take place in the form of alternative clothing choices, sobriety, slowing down when driving, etc., etc. Only you can make the decision for yourself, but if you are not prepared to modify your behavior to some degree or other in order to accommodate hassle-free CHL, then probably CHL is not for you.

[Hoi Polloi]

If you're a college student who is dependent on a family member, and you know that the people paying your bills would disapprove of a CHL so strongly that it would jeopardize your financial stability at this time, I think it is wise to weigh if the additional protection is worth that battle. Part of being an adult is choosing your battles wisely. Those in the work force have to decide if they will carry despite company weapons policies that could get them fired, and different people choose to handle it differently depending on their values and concerns.

There is nothing immature or childish about choosing to forego something you could have because it would cause more problems than it would potentially fix. Only you know your family and your life and can weigh which is more likely: encountering a stupid person at or around the college scene who could put your life in danger or your family finding out and pulling the tab. And then once you decide which is more likely, it is a matter of what you value. Are you willing to give up that freedom in order to have your college education paid for? Does it matter that they didn't pay for your education if you are killed before you finish? These are big choices and your thinking through them shows caution and maturity--a very good sign for a CHL holder.

[seamusTX]

Most people don't let political ideology or religion interfere with family relationships.

I grew up in a very rigid environment (back in the day) where divorce, out-of-wedlock pregnancy, or interracial relationships were viewed as a fate worse than death. When those events eventually occurred in the family, guess what? The chickens squawked and ran around flapping their wings, and then settled down and got over it.

It seems like people "coming out" about being gay experience much the same response.

OTOH, letting someone use money to control you while claiming to love you ... connect the dots.

- Jim

[The Annoyed Man]

Most people don't let political ideology or religion interfere with family relationships.

That is, unless the parent in question is a very hard left atheist California divorce attorney, and his favored daughter is about to become engaged to my son.

Of course, the longer it goes on, the more the daughter is coming to realize that, at least in her case, she is seeing more respect and tolerance for people who differ from one's self coming from the side of the "opposition" than she is from the environment in which she grew up. Her father has told her, just in the past few weeks that: A) "Texas? They throw out the rules of evidence in Texas!" B) "If you ever come to believe that there might be an intelligent design to the universe, I will lose all respect for you!" C) "He's a conservative!?!?! They're all so predictable!!!

That last one made me laugh. For my part and my wife's part, we've never said anything to her one way or the other about ideology - except to answer her questions to us, and then our answers have been very low key and respectful. She's a sweet girl, and we've known her and her family since my son was in the first grade. She loves my son. That's good enough for me. God willing, she'll come around to my son's way of thinking. If not, well at least they still love each other. That will have to be enough.

[seamusTX]

The resistance peaks before the wedding.

My late mother-in-law treated me like the new kid in school for about a year, but when she realized that I could not be cowed, she gave up.

- Jim

[Hoi Polloi]

The resistance peaks before the wedding.

My late mother-in-law treated me like the new kid in school for about a year, but when she realized that I could not be cowed, she gave up.

- Jim

Did your wife's family hail from the north or something? My southern relatives and in-laws are far too stubborn to give up after just a year. You're lucky to make peace before people die in my parts.

Some relatives decide that family connections and support are more important than rocking the boat while some decide that it isn't. They have very different lives with very different hardships. There's no right or wrong in the choice, one must simply acknowledge that the choice has inherent consequences either way and be willing to accept them when they come to pass.

[seamusTX]

Did your wife's family hail from the north or something? My southern relatives and in-laws are far too stubborn to give up after just a year.

I'm very fortunate not to have been drinking something when I read that.

Everyone concerned was born and raised in Chicago, as I was.

Midwesterners are pretty forgiving. They are not known for these feuds that go on for generations. Also, MIL was an intelligent, practical woman and knew better than to butt up against an immovable object (me).

Maybe it's me. I get along with everyone. I don't like everyone. I avoid many people. I silently despise some. But I get along.

- Jim

[father]

I am proud of you people giving such good advice to a young person on dealing directly with family who disagree on guns. I wish you would speak up more in the conversations where people complain about employers who disagree on guns.

[The Annoyed Man]

I am proud of you people giving such good advice to a young person on dealing directly with family who disagree on guns. I wish you would speak up more in the conversations where people complain about employers who disagree on guns.

I'm not sure I follow your point.

[father]

I am proud of you people giving such good advice to a young person on dealing directly with family who disagree on guns. I wish you would speak up more in the conversations where people complain about employers who disagree on guns.

I'm not sure I follow your point.

Many people are advising this young person to be an adult, decide what's important, and act accordingly. I wish more people would give similar advice to people who complain about employer gun policies. In those conversations, people get away with excuses about how it's hard to find a new job, even though it's easier to get a new job than get new parents.

The austinrealtor gave some very good advice for working adults as much as college students.

At what point do you start leading your own life? Part of "growing up" is have the backbone to demand that others recognize that you are an adult who can and will make your own decisions about such things.

But if YOU are not ready for the serious responsibility of carrying a gun, then DON'T DO IT!

[seamusTX]

I am proud of you people giving such good advice to a young person on dealing directly with family who disagree on guns.

Thank you, if that comment was directed toward me.

I wish you would speak up more in the conversations where people complain about employers who disagree on guns.

There is a world of difference between family and employers. Family members really love one another or generally want to get along. It may be difficult, but they come around. I have been there. They didn't give me a T-shirt.

Employers can just flush employees down the toilet and hire someone else when we have a practical unemployment rate around 20%.

I've said this so many times that I quit repeating it: You are not going to stick out your jaw and demand the right to carry a weapon anywhere on private property. The corporate bureaucratitic mentality is such that they will never allow it.

Load up. Cover up. Shut up.

- Jim

[father]

You said it best earlier.

Well, you're an adult. Some decisions are difficult.

- Jim

[The Annoyed Man]

I am proud of you people giving such good advice to a young person on dealing directly with family who disagree on guns. I wish you would speak up more in the conversations where people complain about employers who disagree on guns.

I'm not sure I follow your point.

Many people are advising this young person to be an adult, decide what's important, and act accordingly. I wish more people would give similar advice to people who complain about employer gun policies. In those conversations, people get away with excuses about how it's hard to find a new job, even though it's easier to get a new job than get new parents.

Aaahhh... Thanks for the clarification.

[AJSully421]

I have been pulled over a lot... and I mean A LOT. This is the result of a general cavalier attitude towards mala prohibita traffic laws, and the fact that I hate traffic so I get it over with as fast as possible.

I have handed my Utah or Florida CCW license to probably a dozen officers both with other people in the truck and by myself. Only once have I ever been asked where I am carrying a handgun, or any other discussion about a gun. Also, only once have I ever been asked about being a Texas resident with a out of state CCW license... and both "firsts" were on the same stop.

One Fort Worth officer pulled me over while I had others in the truck... He looked at my Florida CCW license, said: "I don't need that" and handed it back. Stood there and ran my 27/29 over the radio. When it came back current and clear he let me go, no warning... nothing.

Anyhow... Get your CHL!