LadyLightening wrote:CHLLady wrote:LadyLightening wrote:Thanks for all the comments! Especially the ladies that chimed in! :) Everyone's contributed to things I hadn't even thought of.I have a quick question though. I had some young guys (very early 20s...if that) come to the door selling magazine subscriptions. I had been working in the backyard coming and going into the house every so often and the front door was unlocked. Doorbell rings and stupid me answers the door halfway with my gun in hand on the side that wasn't supposed to be visible. Once I realized I shouldn't be in "threat" mode, I told them to hold on and I closed the door and put my gun on the hallway table. One of the guys was pretty country and he asked me what kind of gun I had and if it was pink.... Pink holster!! They saw through it through the glass in the middle of the door. So I apologized a million times and decided to buy magazines that were ridiculously overpriced after I gave them an idea of why I answered with a gun. They were cool with it and laughed, asked to come into the house and finish paperwork and I let them in. Can I get in trouble for them seeing it? I know absolutely I would if I was outside my home but I was inside. I know I shouldn't of let them in either but I didn't come to my senses until after the fact.
You need a No trespassing/No soliciting sign, a solid front door, and a chain so that you don't open the door all the way... NO do not let them in. Women have to stop being so nice. Our safety needs to come first over offending someone's feelings. I say this because I KNOW I am guilty of this very thing. WHY do we do this after the fact? We have to put the brakes on first. WHY shouldn't you be in threat mode?! Your instincts told you correctly the first time, your brain made you change it!! You were 100% right to answer the door with your gun. Listen to your instincts. And don't apologize! In the book, I mentioned earlier, he tells you WHY you need to use your instincts! Do you know the kind of people who sell mags. Door to door are not the kind that have a good job history or a long one. I bet they hire anyone to do this, even ex-cons. Who's to say that on that day he decides to go bad again... We have got to change our way of thinking!
I had some man come to the door, which I did NOT open claiming to be from an electric company I don't have. He was very offended that I would not open the door. I could tell in the way he answered me. Oh well! Too bad, survey someone else! But then again, I did open the door to a guy trying to sell Direct Tv/Dish. He asked for a bottle of water, a pen, and 2 napkins to wipe his face. I accommodated him every time. I shut the door and he was not allowed in, but still I'm irritated with myself over this one. I'm too darn nice! Ugh! Then we put up the No trespassing/soliciting sign.
Being too nice is my number #1 weakness! Niceness is what got me into this situation in the first place...
I just downloaded that book to my iPad, it sounds like I could really use it. I just had the same experience with Direct TV!! I had to let this guy into my house though...I could hear his stomach rumbling and then he asked me if he could use my bathroom. This guy pinched a loaf in my toilet, didn't even flush AND I could smell it from my living room. It looked like world war 3 had started in my bathroom. I don't get it! If that was me in someone else's home, I wouldn't go drop bombs in their bathroom... I'd have to leave!! Sorry if I was too detailed.
Anyways, I don't know why I felt bad for them seeing my gun. Afterwards I realized it was a paper clip anyways as it wasn't loaded. I was all over the place today with making so many dumb moves but I haven't felt as good as I did today in awhile... I will let you know how the book goes! :)
Being nice to good people is a wonderful thing. Being nice to everyone can get you seriously injured or killed.
Criminals make a science out of manipulating nice people into vulnerable positions so they can be taken advantage of or attacked.
There's nothing wrong with being wary of strangers - it's a requirement for peaceful living. The concept is that folks have to earn your trust. You can't afford to give it to everyone.
Doing things like using an intercom to interview visitors at the door isn't offensive to innocent guests - but it is much safer and bad guys will recognize it as a real good indication that the resident has given thought to potential intruders and quite likely has a deeper plan for other possibilities. The deterrent effect is significant, and it doesn't present an easy to exploit vulnerability.
One needs to think these things through and be assertive to ward off approaches by people who see niceness as weakness. A good start would be not allowing anyone you wouldn't leave alone with your purse into your home, and keeping Ace with you when you converse with strangers. His nose for bad guys will be many times more sensitive than yours. If he growls and lowers his head, puts his ears back, or bears teeth, you're looking at a threat. Follow his judgment - he'll seldom be wrong. He also won't be shy about being assertive when necessary, and very few bad guys will push things when confronted by an alerted GSD.
Now keep looking, the non-crazies are out there.
Finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin again. 