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My Wife wonders why I carry. And why I want her to learn to shoot and carry.

The other night we were leaving a movie and she stated that she was scared.

I said. "Don't worry I will protect you."
Her response?.....""Why....I can run away faster than you can"
I told her "I was carrying"
Her response?......"It does not help us if it is in the car"....I was proud that after being with me all night that she could not tell.
I told her "I have it on me"
She says....."Where?"
I respond "4 O'clock"....
I am proud and expecting her to feel better but her response is........wait for it........"That does not make me feel any better"

Am I the only one married to someone that just does not get the point that personal safety is a PERSONAL issue?

Outbreaker wrote:My Wife wonders why I carry. And why I want her to learn to shoot and carry.

The other night we were leaving a movie and she stated that she was scared.

I said. "Don't worry I will protect you."
Her response?.....""Why....I can run away faster than you can"
I told her "I was carrying"
Her response?......"It does not help us if it is in the car"....I was proud that after being with me all night that she could not tell.
I told her "I have it on me"
She says....."Where?"
I respond "4 O'clock"....
I am proud and expecting her to feel better but her response is........wait for it........"That does not make me feel any better"

Am I the only one married to someone that just does not get the point that personal safety is a PERSONAL issue?

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My wife would give me a ration of you know what - I'd be chastised up one side and down the other if she knew I was carrying.

My girlfriend, OTH, doesn't mind a bit and says she feels safer.

(and before any or or I will be in NJ on Thursday to attend my final divorce hearing)

Outbreaker wrote: She says....."Where?"
I respond "4 O'clock"....

I surprised she didn't say.."I didn't ask what time it is"

I'm lucky. My wife says she feels very safe because I have my gun(s) on me.
Especially while walking through parking lots at night.

USA1 wrote:

Outbreaker wrote: She says....."Where?"
I respond "4 O'clock"....

I surprised she didn't say.."I didn't ask what time it is"

I'm lucky. My wife says she feels very safe because I have my gun(s) on me.
Especially while walking through parking lots at night.

I thought that same thing after I said it.......LOL

My wife used to ask if I had the "newspaper" with me (everday item that cannot be confused with a gun and when mentioned does not raise suspicion). Now she does not feel the need to ask as she knows I carry ALL the time and she is glad that I do.

Outbreaker wrote:My Wife wonders why I carry. And why I want her to learn to shoot and carry.

The other night we were leaving a movie and she stated that she was scared.

I said. "Don't worry I will protect you."
Her response?.....""Why....I can run away faster than you can"
I told her "I was carrying"
Her response?......"It does not help us if it is in the car"....I was proud that after being with me all night that she could not tell.
I told her "I have it on me"
She says....."Where?"
I respond "4 O'clock"....
I am proud and expecting her to feel better but her response is........wait for it........"That does not make me feel any better"

Am I the only one married to someone that just does not get the point that personal safety is a PERSONAL issue?

"Hun, what will you do if you're alone?"


Hmmmm

Both my wife and I carry. She is very supportive of it and is glad that I do. She also assumes I'm carrying at all times, as I even routinely carry around the house and have firearms dispersed throughout the home, which with the addition of our little one is going to have to cease soon. I knew she was really into it when she asked me to sell her Taurus PT 111 and get her a SW snubbie with pink grips after seeing her dad's 642, and she carries in her purse at all times. It makes me feel better about her being out by herself with our 3 month old daughter, though we still try our best to only go to places like Wal-Mart and the mall if we are together, as to have a lookout. We also refuse to patronize any establishment that is posted. Call us paranoid, but God willing, we'll still be around at the end of the day. BTW, I must do a good job of concealing, because a good friend of mine that I work with left Houston for good to move back to Ohio on Sunday, and when he came over to my house to pick up some sunglasses I was giving him for his journey home, I revealed to him that I had been carrying every day since I had met him last year, and the look on his face was priceless! I was wearing my Taurus 709 in a smart carry, which btw is much more comfortable now that I'm not a "fat guy" any longer. That thing hurts when you have dunlap(belly dun lapped over your belt) syndrome.

Outbreaker wrote:My Wife wonders why I carry. And why I want her to learn to shoot and carry.

The other night we were leaving a movie and she stated that she was scared.
<SNIP>
I am proud and expecting her to feel better but her response is........wait for it........"That does not make me feel any better"

There are several ways (I think) one could approach this, but either way you both need to be on the same page. If you are Christian, there are many Scriptures to demonstrate your duty to both arm and protect your wife. Barring that, gather information on incidents in your area and haunts. The next time she wants to go out, lay those down and your concerns both for her safety and her apprehension. Calmly and lovingly refuse going out saying something to the effect that you can't stand to see her afraid, you can't stand to see her unprotected and since she does not like you being enabled to protect her, you need to stay home.

<anecdote>
Early on in our marriage we would go to Turner Falls fairly regularly. Her dad had always carried a handgun camping and I had grown up the same way. She wasn't anti-gun but I guess she didn't see the need to carry. As I was packing she saw that I had my Colt Commando laid out. She said, "You aren't planning on taking that are you?" I said, "I always have one camping, you never know what can happen." She was getting kind of upset so I took it out of the stuff I was packing, but did not say I wouldn't take it.

When she went about getting other stuff ready, I packed it in my med kit. The second night (Saturday) a group of bikers and company moved and set up on the other side of the water from us. During the night the revelers were getting pretty rowdy and a woman screamed (couldn't tell why) and my wife said, "Did you hear that?!?"
"Yes."
"What are we going to do?"
"Sleep I hope."
I guess I was overly calm for her because she said, "Did you...?"
"Yes and I have it with me."
"Oh good."

Later as she was relating how scared she had gotten I said, "So we're not going to have any more discussions about when and where to carry?" The typically self-reliant and self assured wife became contrite and said, "I was glad you had it."

She has carried and has had a CHL for a long time.
</anecdote>

I guess my point is a choice circumstance can completely change an attitude, especially when faced with a dangerous reality. Be ready to protect, you don't have to tell her you're ready and when she is truly frightened she might understand.

If you haven't already, buy her a pistol and encourage, teach her. Use it as a date...I have and it got her excited about a gun.

When we go out, my wife asks me if I have my "medical device" on me, and I say "Yes...."

...then I ask her if she has her "medical device" with her, and says "Yes."

Then we go out and don't worry about it.

The Annoyed Man wrote:When we go out, my wife asks me if I have my "medical device" on me, and I say "Yes...."

...then I ask her if she has her "medical device" with her, and says "Yes."

Then we go out and don't worry about it.

Why does that sound Dirty?

What a strange thing for her to say, sounds like she doesn't like te situation but is more scared of the gun. Thats a shame

My wife knows that when I'm not at work I carry, the only exception being if we go out to drink. The only time she asks is when something she doesn't like catches her attention. Most of the time she can't tell either.

marksiwel wrote:
http://www.eharmony.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Check it out

I'm going to go a different route with this. I'd say never mention it to her again. Next time she says she's scared, don't say you'll protect her. Just tell her, Well, let's just keep a lookout and get out of here as quickly as we can, or something to that effect.

Don't try to change her mind about you carrying. If she's not forcing you to leave your gun at home or trying to get you to get rid of your weapons, leave it alone. No need to argue over it. You do your thing and if you ever have to protect yourself or her, you'll be prepared.

If you're wanting to get her into shooting, IMHO, the best thing you can do is just casually invite her to the shooting range next time you go. If she says no, then leave it alone. Keep inviting her every time you want to go and if she says no, just tell her you'll be back later and you love her and leave it at that. Maybe invite her to watch you shoot an IDPA event. Tell her you'd like her there for moral support and to hang out in between stages. SHOW her how important this part of your life is to you. Don't try and talk her into it. She'll come around eventually because she'll want to be part of something that's special to you.

This is pretty much what happened with my wife a year or so ago. She was never against me carrying and eventually felt a little uncomfortable when I wasn't around with my CCW. She ended up asking me to teach her how to shoot and then got her own weapon, CHL, and carries everywhere she goes now as well.

There's more than one great woman in this world. I know I don't have the only one. I'm sure you have a wonderful wife as well. But trying to change somebody's mind about something as sensitive as firearms I don't believe is a good idea. Let it happen in its own time. You'll both be better for it.

SHe knows incidents that have happened in the area. 2 of her students were held up at the movies (this caused me to get my permit).

She is also not anti gun. Her father has guns. SHe grew up in a household that hunts and has gone hunting with me.

I just think that she has lead a sheltered life and has never HAD to think about personal security. I like some of the ideas above and will try some.

At some point, when you and your partner are truly comfortable about carrying, it won't even come up. You will both just treat it as if you were wearing your pants. If someone I am with asks me if I am packing, it usually tells me something they have picked up on has caused them concern. Nobody ever asks me that question as a coarse of action before going out.

Try taking your wife to the range and get her into shooting. If she believes nothing bad is going to happen to her, trying to scare her by showing her articles and what not might just make her think you have gone paranoid. Mental conditioning is a tricky thing. Most folks don't respond well if they feel they are being manipulated... nobody wants to feel like they have been coerced. Take it slow and easy and look for a way to make it her idea to carry without attempting to terrify her.