anti-gun mother in law just found out I carry!

[1s1k52]

I have been carrying for over 3 years. I have worn clothing that almost is borderline unacceptable or concealing a pistol at times at home, around family etc testing the waters versus public. I have done this all successfully for about a year and a half after being more comfortable.

Today working at my in laws for them I had a baggy sweatshirt and a baggy shirt almost 2 sizes to big for me plus LONG for shirts I normally wear. WELL mother in law claims she saw it in my pants in a holster on my hip. It was. She is a liar though. I know it wasn't her. Why? . she is a compulsive manipulative liar who wasn't there long enough to see it.

She text my wife about it WAY after the fact. My guess is while bending all the way down to help with a huge wooden box which immediately held with one hand to fix my shirt out of habit. This 18 year old boy with a social issues or something was standing right there gawking at me as he had been all day.

Obviously the fault is mine. Its amazing to me though after all this time and the clothing I was wearing it happened. Sort of makes me feel like now I always need a shirt tucked OVER my gun.

Anyways she also added that it is not happening in her house because to many accidents can happen... I looked at my wife and said "darn..guess I wont be going over anymore"

-rant start- When I met them 6 years ago I can't say enough on how judgmental this family was on everything especially about guns. Her mom was born in England, raised in Canada, moved from California to Texas and complains about that fact daily ( I may take the Texas trash talk to seriously).

Ok So about 2 years ago her step dad approached me about a gun for home defense. I was shocked to say the least. I explained why pistols are better than rifles or shotguns, but should be paired with one etc. He was open minded and confirmed with me he understood why they are both important.

At this time with the nine brothers and sisters are the only tie they have to a gun owner. He went 3 years ago and bought an basic AR on sale at Cabelas. He was commanded, which he agreed to, keep it in pieces and bullets who knows where. I get over there at some point for him to show me. The gun is in pieces ok? I start loading the metal magazine that came with it since he said he hadn't I was showing him how they did and trying to explain things. Mother in law was in the room with the eldest son and they start, quite literally, shrieking at the top of their lungs. I kindly unload it and explain there was no reason to be afraid. I then explained why keeping it in pieces and only having a long gun coming out their bathroom closet was not the best idea. My wife chimed in telling them pay attention because I had a point. I showed them how much of the barrel was visible before I was. I also kindly explained if their reason for purchase was infact HD, a gun in pieces with bullets everywhere else BUT in the gun doesn't serve a purpose and they had the right BECAUSE they were in Texas to do as they wish so long it was within the law.

Since then my wifes sister (about 1-2 years ago) got with a guy HUGE into hunting anything with a pulse lol. He took myself and father in law out about 2 years ago hunting. I posted around that time asking the forum if we got pulled over should I out myself?.

Somehow this guy and my father in law go hunting quite often together. In January I went with them once and my father in law said I should bring my pistols next time. Little did he know my Glock 29 was on me at the time he said that. I just felt that even after this time he has had to get into guns I liked my space with carrying. I have heard all kinds of stuff from them like "you would have to be crazy not to carry a gun in these times". I just usually would nod my head and change subjects.

-rant end-

I feel pretty irresponsible. However, I really feel like it was just a fluke and I cant help but laugh at how the outfit I was wearing was the one it happened it over my normal clothing.

[Jumping Frog]

Grandkids are a wonderful way to change the balance of power with a M-I-L.

[tbrown]

Anyways she also added that it is not happening in her house because to many accidents can happen... I looked at my wife and said "darn..guess I wont be going over anymore"

That sounds like a win to me.

[jmra]

Anyways she also added that it is not happening in her house because to many accidents can happen... I looked at my wife and said "darn..guess I wont be going over anymore"

That sounds like a win to me.

[gdanaher]

This is just another good example that you should, before contemplating marriage, discover the potential roadblocks amongst the in-laws. You always marry the whole package. In the mean time, it sounds like your weekends have just been freed up so you can go to the range and get a little more practice time in. Good deal.

When my California sister-in-law discovered that I carried, she actually turned pale white with fear. With so many folks spending time in California prisons, you'd think that some of those still on the outside might get the point of it all, but then, perhaps not.

[gigag04]

I feel for you man...that stinks. I have a fantastic relationship with my in-laws.

I probably wouldn't go over anymore either. People like tend to freak out and make things up in calls to LE.

[goose]

It sounds like the family is being exposed more and more. At least two daughters and the stepdad have figured out that guns aren't made by the devil. I'd avoid her like the plague and when asked be honest. Either she knows deep down that they don't go off themselves or she must live in constant fear for her daughters. From her perspective she must have failed as a parent. How could her daughters be so stupid as to expose themselves to so much danger?

[gthaustex]

Anyways she also added that it is not happening in her house because to many accidents can happen... I looked at my wife and said "darn..guess I wont be going over anymore"

That sounds like a win to me.

You do marry the entire package. Fortunately, my father-in-law is one of those who hunts pretty much anything with a pulse and my wife grew up around hunting and firearms.

Now, if only I could get her to carry.......

[The Annoyed Man]

I'd just tell her, "You want me to come over and do stuff around your house? Fine. The gun comes with me. You don't like that? Then get somebody else to be your field hand. And if you don't like my state, then get the hell out. We'll both be happier."

Yes, you marry the whole package, but that doesn't mean you need to A) submit to manipulation, and B) subject yourself to someone's beck and call, especially if they are a hysterical fool.

I was blessed with delightful in-laws, but I had to take the above approach with my own mother some years ago. Here is an important principle in family relationships: you will NEVER get someone to respect your boundaries unless you A) set them, and B) enforce them. The fact is that, until you set and enforce boundaries, your MIL will continue to try and manipulate you, berate you, and offend you. Like froggie said above, grandkids make a great motivator for good behavior.

Here are some good rules to set boundaries:

1. I don't go anywhere unarmed, including your house. You want me to come over, I come over armed. That is not negotiable.
2. I can't help you if I can't come over, and I won't come over unarmed. You want help from me, get used to it. You're the one asking. Beggars can't be choosers, and I am not inclined to help people who do not respect me. That is not negotiable.
3. I WON'T drop my kids off where they are not properly protected, and I WON'T take them where I can't protect them, if such protection is not provided for by the home-owner. That is non negotiable.
4. I WON'T have you in my home if you are disrespectful in my presence of my beliefs, or the way I live my life. Say what you want in your own house or away from my presence, but in MY house, MY rules. This is non negotiable.
5. If you EVER criticize me or disrespect me to my children in front of me, or if you ever criticize my beliefs or the way I live my life to them in front of me, you will not see them again until you formally apologize and promise not to do it again. I won't forgive it more than a couple of times. If you ever do it behind my back, you will never see them again, as long as you live. This is non negotiable.

These rules sound harsh, but they are intended to modify the other person's behavior with regard to you. Believe me, it will only take one or two confrontations over the rule violations for her to begin to change. Alternatively, you can accommodate yourself to your MIL's insanity, but that simply enables her insanity, it is called "co-dependence", and I don't think you'll be too happy with your life; because if you surrender in one area, you'll soon be surrendering in others. Such is the nature of manipulative people. They need boundaries...............so that we don't kill 'em all. LOL.

[SewTexas]

if the FIL and two other daughters are now also comfortable around guns, mom is losing her control of the family, this is a problem for her....and she sees guns as the issue, not the fact that these folks are growing up and changing and having their own lives....well, except for Dad. And YOU, YOU are the great evil, because you started it all....well, in her mind you did because you were first.

[karder]

Beggars can't be choosers, and I am not inclined to help people who do not respect me.

Yep. If they want your help, they are the ones who need to bend a bit. It is not reasonable to ask for you to provide free labor and then mandate the conditions under which you provide it. Generally speaking, unreasonable people will be as unreasonable as they can be while still getting what they want. You have to decide how unreasonable you are going to allow them to be and your MIL will scale her attitude to adjust.

[txglock21]

Beggars can't be choosers, and I am not inclined to help people who do not respect me.

Yep. If they want your help, they are the ones who need to bend a bit. It is not reasonable to ask for you to provide free labor and then mandate the conditions under which you provide it. Generally speaking, unreasonable people will be as unreasonable as they can be while still getting what they want. You have to decide how unreasonable you are going to allow them to be and your MIL will scale her attitude to adjust.

I feel the same about businesses that post 30.06 signs. Just change the words "help" and "free labor" in your post to "money".

[couzin]

My MIL knew I carried and had other weapons in the house. She lived in Wichita Falls her whole life and we were in Fort Worth. When I reassigned to East Texas we asked her if she wanted to come live out there so we could be close. She not only agreed but she asked if she could live with us. She said, "I will feel safer with you"! We lost her in Jan 2007 and I think of her everyday.

[nightmare69]

Don't feel to bad, I have some step family from California who think guns are nothing but untamed death machines that kill without warning. They would be the type that would call police and request they leave their guns in the patrol car. Little do they know I carry everytime I'm over there and if they ever find out, oh well.

[NEB]

My in-laws are pretty good about things. However, my FIL did open his mouth to my wife one time, voicing that he thought it was "silly" for me to carry a firearm. My wife, to her ever-lasting credit, immediately told him to keep his opinions to himself. I actually think his comment is quite "silly" seeing as how he pays people to carry firearms around him for his protection in some situations. It's much the same with certain elitist government officials. Sure, they can have armed security protect them and their families, but it's just "silly" to think that a "commoner" needs a gun for self defense.