Livin' in Texas

[skip]

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas .

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas , plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. People actually grow and eat okra.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'

8. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it When you're two.

9. 'fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'.

14. You measure distance in minutes.


15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. 'No. Jew?' is a common response to the question 'Did you bring any beer?'.

17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

22. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.

24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

25. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World'.

26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas..

27. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good Chicken stew weather.

29. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we
can drive, we can drive

30. You understand these jokes and forward them to your
Texas friends and those who just wish they were from
Texas .

[RPBrown]

An jer point iz

[tfrazier]

Number 18 should have added:
18. You switch from heat to A/C and back again in the same day.

[barres]

Number 23 is not quite right. It should read:

23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local football teams.

[PBratton]

Wuz all them werds jus' to hep out them durned yakees?

[Mike1951]

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

While I can agree with four of these, I had to google Texas Pete to see what it was.

My #5 would be this jalapeno ketchup, available at the Super Targets and some HEB's.

http://www.spiceitup.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I found it on the tables of an old BBQ shack in Hearne and liked it so much that I contacted the manufacturer about where to buy it.

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good Chicken stew weather.

I'm 57 and a native Texan, and I have never heard of chicken stew!

[PBratton]

I'm 57 and a native Texan, and I have never heard of chicken stew!

It's the same as possum stew, just has chicken and okra...

[WarHawk-AVG]

We make chicken noodle suprise...and leave out the chicken **suprise**

5. People actually grow and eat okra.
Fried okra RULES!! I even enjoy pickled okra!

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
I though all those spices were rolled up into one
Tony Chachere's or as we call it "Tony C's" that's all we need.

21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
Everyone does that....doncha?

[JLaw]

11. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

'Nuff said.

JLaw

[JLaw]

12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything abouchew.'

Fixed if for ya.

JLaw

[Skiprr]

32. All is important. Much of the Texas economy in the 20th century was based on the "all bidness".

[KC5AV]

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
I though all those spices were rolled up into one
Tony Chachere's or as we call it "Tony C's" that's all we need.

You call it Tony C's, because no one outside southern Louisiana knows for sure how to pronounce his last name.

[lrb111]

19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

While I can agree with four of these, I had to google Texas Pete to see what it was.

My #5 would be this jalapeno ketchup, available at the Super Targets and some HEB's.

http://www.spiceitup.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I found it on the tables of an old BBQ shack in Hearne and liked it so much that I contacted the manufacturer about where to buy it.

28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good Chicken stew weather.

I'm 57 and a native Texan, and I have never heard of chicken stew!

In Texas, chicken and okra aint stew, idbe fixinto be gumbo.

[Mike1951]

In Texas, chicken and okra aint stew, idbe fixinto be gumbo.

Now, THAT I'm familiar with!