What do you suggest for a "Chimp Gun"?

[camjr]

Gotta love Austin. Keep Austin Wierd! This helps: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent ... b509c.html

I don't know what to say...

[TDDude]

"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said.

Now that is what I call C.Y.A.

What are they feeding those chimps down there??

[frankie_the_yankee]

I'd say a 12 gage with 00 buck would do it.

[The Annoyed Man]

Well hey... those chimps are pretty smart, and word on the street is that they all speak perfect English with an Oxford accent, particularly the ones who matriculated from Eaton before entering the medical research field. You never really know if they understand Texican, but I suspect that they do. That chimp was definitely hopped up on something - perhaps a small Cabernet gone a little vinegary.

That cop was very lucky the chimp didn't give him a proper thrashing and call him a cad for failing to yield to his intellectual superior.

[old farmer]

Good evening,
It sounds like it was suicide by cop. Did the poor chimp have a history of depression? Were was crisis intervention team? Why wasn't the civil rights of the chimp not protected? What kind of city is Austin?

[dukalmighty]

[quoteThe chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said.
][/quote]

How do you yell stop or i'll shoot in chimpanzee language,maybe the chimp thought he was saying come here this gun will serve your purposes better.But on the other hand if there tranquilizer gun won't stop a chimp what if it was a lion or an elephant.
I believe this animals rights were violated where's Al Sharpton when ya really need him,wait a minute who ever needed Al sharpton.
I'm waiting for the zoo to sue citing the chimp was realy a good chimp ,he just made a bad choice that day

[KBCraig]

I want to see the write-up on this one.

The male subject, age unknown, approximately 4 feet tall and 165 pounds, brown/brown, was in a highly agitated state and refused to comply with verbal commands....

[WildBill]

"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot," the report said.

Maybe this isn't as strange as it sounds. I have read on this forum that some people yell commands at dogs to stop them from attacking. Chimps are much smarter than dogs.

I feel bad for the chimp. If medical researchers were doing to me what they did to him I would have tried to escape too and I would have shot them with the tranquilizer gun after I took it away from them.

[srothstein]

In all honesty, it really is proof that we train like we fight and we fight like we train. The officer has been trained to yell before firing, and did so this time, even when it was obviously useless. When you get into a stressful situation, you react, you don't think.

But it certainly will not be lived down for awhile, especially in the station. Cops are notoriously unforgiving of stupid mistakes by their own. Well, unforgiving might be the wrong word because it will all be in good fun, but I see some practical jokes coming.

[mr surveyor]

what does barbequed chimp taste like?

Does the tranquilizer give it any special flavor?

Are chimps smarter than dolphins?

so many unanswered questions!


oh, and this is good: "The officer fell backward while firing his gun.." Proof that the movies are true about recoil...I wonder how far the chimp was thrown backwards when he was hit?

[Rokyudai]

What happens when YOU are subjected to vast research experiments, poked, prodded, and drained of vital fluids on a routine basis? Well, for me, that sounds like a good Saturday night, but to the simeon population it gets a bit upsetting and they become unhinged. When will we stop the senseless subjugation of our future masters? Didn't anyone receive the Planet of the Apes message? We need more chunky monkey and less 'plantain-tion' of a species. (now you know a plantain is a 'nanner right?) that's what makes it so funny...in my mind anyway.

Blow dart gun laced with the poison excreted by the bufo americanus can have interesting results on a chimp.


Follow me folks I'm on a roll.....

[aardwolf]

The gun they use in the circus for the human cannonball would probably work real good with a chimp.

[DoubleActionCHL]

When Trunk Monkeys go bad.... shameful.

[foodawg]

If you ever seen the way some of those chimps are treated, you'd be looking for suicide by cop to.

A friend of mine works at a "retirement home" for apes that have been used for medical experiments. A lot of them are not in good mental shape by the time these test labs get done with them, so you have to feel a little sorry for them.

However, the story would have been funnier if the chimp had used the dart gun on somebody, like the attendant or the cop. It would need a picture to top is off though.