Got In Trouble With My Wife

[surprise_i'm_armed]

What is "FBM" patrol" ??

TIA/SIA

[anygunanywhere]

What is "FBM" patrol" ??

TIA/SIA

FBM = Fleet Ballistic Missile. A class of submarines specifically designed to carry and submerged launch intercontinental ballistic missiles (SLBM - Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile)

Patrol = period of time a Fleet Ballistic Missile submarine is at sea underway covering strategic targets poised and readddy to launch missiles when directed by proper command authority. Typically 78 - 100 days submerged.

Anygunanywhere

[TomV]

My problem is the boss will say hey will you go do abc? I say sure and get up to go do abc. On the way to go do abc she will invariably ask if I can do def as well? Sure. So I start doing def. then she will ask if I can do xyz. Yep. So I go do xyz. I finish xyz and go sit back down. Then she gets mad because I have forgotten abc and def.

One thing at a time please!!! I can calculate the drift, drop and lead in my head on a 1000 yard 308 shot but come on quit confusing me!!!

Love it!

[Selina Kyle]

If I feel like pushing limits I'll have a conversation that goes like this:

Mrs: "Can I ask you to do XYZ"

Me: "Yup"

A certain amount of time has passed

Mrs: "Are you going to do XYZ?!"

Me:" You just asked me if you could ask me to do it. You never asked me to do it."

At least I'm entertained...

I'm pretty sure thus exact conversation has happened in our house LOL!!!!

[suthdj]

When she lovingly says "I Love You"
gaze lovingly back into her eyes and say















"So"

then run.

[jmra]

When she lovingly says "I Love You"
gaze lovingly back into her eyes and say















"So"

then run.

My wife can throw a shoe faster than I can run. If that misses, she is a very patient woman. I could be looking over my shoulder for years before she chose the "right moment".

[JSThane]

My problem is the boss will say hey will you go do abc? I say sure and get up to go do abc. On the way to go do abc she will invariably ask if I can do def as well? Sure. So I start doing def. then she will ask if I can do xyz. Yep. So I go do xyz. I finish xyz and go sit back down. Then she gets mad because I have forgotten abc and def.

One thing at a time please!!! I can calculate the drift, drop and lead in my head on a 1000 yard 308 shot but come on quit confusing me!!!

Love it!

This happens all the time in our household. She's had to learn that while I can manage and juggle umpteen different things if they're all connected to one task, I can NOT balance so much as two unrelated tasks, much less the list of "honey-do's," all at once. She's tried to teach me to "multi-task," saying I'll have to do it with kids, but at this point, she's mostly given up. Hand me one thing to do at a time, simple or complicated, it's no problem. Refloor the living room? No problem. Clean up dog mess? No problem. Design, build, and install a fence? No problem. Design, build, and launch a lunar rov... er, ok, I'm exaggerating a tad.
But never ask me to do the dishes and take out the garbage in the same sentence. Bad things happen.

[karder]

You guys are braver than I. I learned a long time ago to keep all the funny things I am thinking inside my head!

[nightmare]

Hand me one thing to do at a time, simple or complicated, it's no problem. Refloor the living room? No problem. Clean up dog mess? No problem. Design, build, and install a fence? No problem. Design, build, and launch a lunar rov... er, ok, I'm exaggerating a tad.
But never ask me to do the dishes and take out the garbage in the same sentence. Bad things happen.

Now where's that Eskimo woman you want me to wrestle?

[WildBill]

Hand me one thing to do at a time, simple or complicated, it's no problem. Refloor the living room? No problem. Clean up dog mess? No problem. Design, build, and install a fence? No problem. Design, build, and launch a lunar rov... er, ok, I'm exaggerating a tad.
But never ask me to do the dishes and take out the garbage in the same sentence. Bad things happen.

Reminds me of the old Rodney Dangerfield joke.

After dinner my wife told me to take out the garbage.

I told her "you cooked it, you take it out."

Rimshot!

[Steamboat]

I'm gonna try this on my wife!
(This may be my last post)

[RetNavy]

Was helping my wife making deviled eggs for the get together this afternoon..... one she didn't like so she put in my mouth for me......... mentioned that there was some grapes in the refrigerator........... anyone know how much gold is Fort Knox..

[Setxjeff]

Along the same theme.
Several years ago(married to the same woman for 37 years) my wife discovered part of my job description at work
Was sweeping the control room at the end of shift. She asked me to sweep the house. So being the ever thoughtful husband I agreed. Went to store purchased 18" soft bristle push broom. During house sweeping my Wife informed me HER house was not swept in that manner. Guess what I now have a new broom for the shop and no house sweeping duties.