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I would hate to walk up on one of those an a bad day. Whip out the cocktail sauce and it will retreat.

How would you cook this thing?

With some crustaceans, you boil them alive, but I don't know that I would want to risk that with this particular animal.

How would you kill it and still preserve the quality of the meat?
Has anyone eaten one of these? Any good?

Typically they are just your average panhandling crustacean and all they want is to ask for a handout. Just blade towards them and loudly say “No, do not approach any closer�. But some have been known to be high on shrimp juice, and in that highly excited state they can be unpredictable. If you find yourself confronted by one high on shrimp, try to deescalate the situation first, but be prepared to go to guns if required.

Be aware there appears to be a splinter group of crabs that call themselves Crustaceans Against Red Lobster (C.A.R.L). This is a very dangerous terrorist group and should not be taken lightly.

In 1997 a group from CARL stole a truck, packed it with explosives, and drove it into the corporate headquarters for Red Lobster. Fortunately, the perpetrators were so high on shrimp extract, they forgot to set the detonators. They were all captured, tried, convicted, and eaten, but in the process became martyrs in the movement.

There are unconfirmed reports of increased CARL membership in Texas. It’s believed it’s ranks have swelled in recent months with it’s promises all martyrs will be King Crabs in the afterlife and will have thousands of hermit crabs to tend to there every whim.

If you see suspicious crab activity, and suspect CARL, call local law enforcement immediately. To be sure there is no confusion and to allow timely LEO response, state clearly “I have a case of the crabs and need assistance�, this should get the proper response from the 911 operator and insure your call goes to the proper authorities.

And remember, CARL members tend to travel in packs, so watch your six…

Now Tx Rancher that was funny. Its nice to see that we can let our hair down around here once in awhile and have some fun with a subject.

Not to throw cold water on a fun thread, but I think the claim of 65 pounds is a little bit of an exaggeration. According to this conservation website, http://www.coconutcrab.co.uk/ they only get up to 11 pounds. I've lived in the tropical islands of the south pacific and never saw any that were bigger than a dinner plate. They are in danger of extinction because they taste great and are easy to catch.

GUYS, YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY!! Bring 'em over to my place and I'm sure Chef can think of something..something..! I will provide a case of pure organic SEMIILON from the Washington/Oregon region and we are going to have a great seafood feast! For those with adventurous palate ( read.. Scubasigguy and The Marshall) how about cooking that that wild crab meat in shirmp paste, heavy cream,buttery chardonnay,lemon butter,portabella mushrooms and diced red peppers and wrap in puff pastery.. Serve with Anna Mae Pinot Noir! Hah, that should be an award winning TexasCHLForum recipe for those critters!

Russell wrote:It's called a coconut crab. It can lift up to 65 pounds!

Anyone know if that poor crab is homeless?

Reysc wrote:GUYS, YOU'RE MAKING ME HUNGRY!! Bring 'em over to my place and I'm sure Chef can think of something..something..! I will provide a case of pure organic SEMIILON from the Washington/Oregon region and we are going to have a great seafood feast! For those with adventurous palate ( read.. Scubasigguy and The Marshall) how about cooking that that wild crab meat in shirmp paste, heavy cream,buttery chardonnay,lemon butter,portabella mushrooms and diced red peppers and wrap in puff pastery.. Serve with Anna Mae Pinot Noir! Hah, that should be an award winning TexasCHLForum recipe for those critters!

When do you want me there?

Okay sorry guys but I can't look at that picture anymore without noticing that his behind looks like a whopper.

Seriously. It has a whopper for a butt.

Russel,

My apologies. I wasn't paying enough attention when I read that. My bad.

One per Gumbo pot I surmise

ScubaSigGuy wrote: I am not sure how fast they are but I would bet that I could easily outrun it.

And if it were fast, I would just need to outrun you

JasonH wrote:Okay sorry guys but I can't look at that picture anymore without noticing that his behind looks like a whopper.

Seriously. It has a whopper for a butt.

I honestly would never have seen that, but now that you mention it, I see it plain as day!

I was too distracted thinking that thing looks just like a spider with a severe steroid problem.

JasonH wrote:Okay sorry guys but I can't look at that picture anymore without noticing that his behind looks like a whopper.

Seriously. It has a whopper for a butt.

Hah, it looks exactly like a whopper!