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Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:20 pm
by ELB
NguyenVanDon,
I think you got pretty good advice already -- you're an adult, there are boundaries between adults, and your parents crossed the boundary, separate from the issue of concealed carry. You don't have to be overly combative, but you do need to stick to your principles and and defend them. While we all would like to relationships with our parents and in-laws that are both respectful and friendly, the two do not always go together. If they snooped around your apartment, that is not respectful, and most definitely not friendly. Parents are dominant in your life while you are growing up, and they do not always easily relinquish that role. You cannot control how they react to your adulthood, but you can control how you react, and standing up for yourself is part of that. Good luck.
On the other hand, this:
seamusTX wrote:Van Don, concealing important information is one step short of a lie. I'm pretty sure your parents see it that way. You have an opportunity to apologizing for that now that they know; while at the same time sticking to your principles.
- Jim
is flat out absurd nonsense. This is drivel. You are under no obligation to share everything in your life, however important or innocuous, with your parents; and they are not required to share everything with you. You have nothing to apologize for. They do.
elb
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:32 pm
by seamusTX
ELB wrote:On the other hand, this:
seamusTX wrote:Van Don, concealing important information is one step short of a lie.
is flat out absurd nonsense.
No, tell us how you really feel.
Please try to be objective about this. How do you think any set of parents would feel if their adult son didn't tell them he got married, or changed jobs, or fathered a child, or switched churches? Van Don's parents are anti-gun (whether we agree with that or not) and it seems to be an important issue for them.
- Jim
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:10 pm
by Wildscar
I am going to retract my statment and agree with everyone else about writing a letter to your parents. I would however include the On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs story from the link below. That in itself sums it all up. If they still dont get it then tell them to pratice in front of a mirror saying "BAAAA..."
http://www.texasshooting.com/TexasCHL_F ... =7&t=13228
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:18 pm
by sailor2000
seamusTX wrote:ELB wrote:On the other hand, this:
seamusTX wrote:Van Don, concealing important information is one step short of a lie.
is flat out absurd nonsense.
No, tell us how you really feel.
Please try to be objective about this. How do you think any set of parents would feel if their adult son didn't tell them he got married, or changed jobs, or fathered a child, or switched churches?
- Jim
Owning a firearm is NOT on the same level as getting married or fathering a child. Those have at least some impact on the whole extended family and parental units could have some reasonable expectation of being informed.
It is not even on the much lower level of changing jobs or churches, which don't seem (to me) like they are anyone else's business unless your Dad is the Pope (ooops... that isn't supposed to happen, is it??).
Owning a firearm is more like deciding to get a lawnmower. Your ownership of a material thing does not change who you are or what you think, which is what should matter to them.
I hope you can patch it up with them, but in no event do they have the right to tell you what to do with your life. It is yours to use well or waste as you wish.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:54 pm
by anygunanywhere
Different cultures approach things in a different light than we Texicans do.
My Dad married a Chinese woman. My Dad and I had a difference of opinion once and she obviously did not like the way I did not back down. He was wrong in his accusation and I let him know.My Dad and I were (he is deceased) very much alike and when we disagreed we did so with much vigor.
She thought I should have been much more submissive out of respect because he was my Dad and we should respect parents......the Asian way.
I told her she should mind her own business. Dad and I hashed it out and it wound up being no big deal because he eventually realized I was right. Mrs. Anygun had a little to do with convincing him too. She is much more diplomatic than I am.
Don can take whatever advice he thinks will help, but eventually IMHO his culture will dictate what he must do. His paerents need to understand that his opinion carries as much weight as his does.
Good luck, Don.
Anygunanywhere.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:24 pm
by NguyenVanDon
Wildscar wrote:I am going to retract my statment and agree with everyone else about writing a letter to your parents. I would however include the On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs story from the link below. That in itself sums it all up. If they still dont get it then tell them to pratice in front of a mirror saying "BAAAA..."
http://www.texasshooting.com/TexasCHL_F ... =7&t=13228
Very good reading. Might forward this story to my parents...
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:07 pm
by G.C.Montgomery
NguyenVanDon wrote:Over the weekend, my parents found out I carry a gun. They slept over at my apartment, so I guess they got nosy and start snooping around my closet and my drawers when I was in the shower last night. Well, they went home this morning acting normal. Until an hour ago, I got a phone call from my parents and they are mad I carry a gun. My parents told me to go sell it and get rid of it. Boy did that made my day. They didn't want to talk about it anymore, so they hung up the phone. So, I'm sitting here thinking, they must be crazy if they think I'm getting rid of my only CCW. Good luck with that. Time add fuel to the flame and start another gun debate. I have an idea how to approach this situation, but I would like some extra help from ya fellas here. So what would ya guys do?
Background Info:
My parents fled the Vietnam War when the communist took over. My parents been here for almost 30 years. I was born in a small town of Orange, TX. Both of my parents are Americanized and citizens of this country, but they are still in the time where they think guns is bad. I got put on a spot and froze up. How would you approach this situation if you were in my shoes?
Are they paying your bills or any part of your bills? Do you pay your own rent/mortgage and taxes? Are you legally allowed to own/purchase a handgun? If the answers to all these questions then you typically qualify as a functional adult. I went through this with my parents. I love them, I respect them...But I told them it was MY decision and would be the first of many decisions with which they may or may not agree. We've all moved on since then and though occasionally I'll still here the mother hens cackling, it's a none issue.
Having said all that, I don't know you from a hill of beans and there is always more to the story than we get to read here. For all I know, your parents' issue may not be the gun so much as it is YOU, with a gun. That might be an issue worth exploring if you care to discuss it further with your parents.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 9:06 pm
by flb_78
Your first problem was hiding all your gun stuff. Someone walks into my house, they'll know right away that there's a firearm or two in the house. That's if they missed the spinning .22 target I have in my front yard.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:17 pm
by Photoman
First order of business is to put a lock on your bedroom door.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:51 pm
by NguyenVanDon
So, I just got done talking to both rents on the phone. They seem to support my idea 100%. I gave them everything about becoming a CHL holder and how responsible we are. They understand clearly where I'm coming from and where they came from.
BTW, I didn't mention this earlier, but I'm planning on going into the law enforcement after I'm done with this college semester. I'm looking into DFW International Airport Law Enforcement. I have talk to one of the LEO there and he said they are under staff right now. It's also a good advantage for my part since I'm Viet and they need more people with ethnic background. So it looks like I am going to apply there soon. Gonna try to enter into the academy and start my 6 months training asap.
I think I made a thread back a couple months ago about becoming a law enforcement officer. FYI now it's true...
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:12 am
by fratermus
NguyenVanDon wrote:Over the weekend, my parents found out I carry a gun. They slept over at my apartment, so I guess they got nosy and start snooping around my closet and my drawers when I was in the shower last night.
Sounds like the parents don't respect your privacy or your opinions.
I have a parent who is controlling, manipulative, and deeply poisonous in general. I cut off contact with her about 1.5 yrs ago and I am happier than I have been in my 42 yrs.
I do not recommend this drastic course of action to everyone, but it worked for me.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:47 am
by Keith B
NguyenVanDon wrote:So, I just got done talking to both rents on the phone. They seem to support my idea 100%. I gave them everything about becoming a CHL holder and how responsible we are. They understand clearly where I'm coming from and where they came from.
BTW, I didn't mention this earlier, but I'm planning on going into the law enforcement after I'm done with this college semester. I'm looking into DFW International Airport Law Enforcement. I have talk to one of the LEO there and he said they are under staff right now. It's also a good advantage for my part since I'm Viet and they need more people with ethnic background. So it looks like I am going to apply there soon. Gonna try to enter into the academy and start my 6 months training asap.
I think I made a thread back a couple months ago about becoming a law enforcement officer. FYI now it's true...
Really glad this worked out for you! Most parents are resonable; it probably just cuaght them off guard and they were not sure of the reason.
Good luck on the law enforcement career. I think that would be a good choice at the airport!
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:00 pm
by SkipB
See
They still love ya. Your choice for your future after college is an exellent one. Good Luck.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:22 pm
by lawrnk
NguyenVanDon wrote:Over the weekend, my parents found out I carry a gun. They slept over at my apartment, so I guess they got nosy and start snooping around my closet and my drawers when I was in the shower last night. Well, they went home this morning acting normal. Until an hour ago, I got a phone call from my parents and they are mad I carry a gun. My parents told me to go sell it and get rid of it. Boy did that made my day. They didn't want to talk about it anymore, so they hung up the phone. So, I'm sitting here thinking, they must be crazy if they think I'm getting rid of my only CCW. Good luck with that. Time add fuel to the flame and start another gun debate. I have an idea how to approach this situation, but I would like some extra help from ya fellas here. So what would ya guys do?
Background Info:
My parents fled the Vietnam War when the communist took over. My parents been here for almost 30 years. I was born in a small town of Orange, TX. Both of my parents are Americanized and citizens of this country, but they are still in the time where they think guns is bad. I got put on a spot and froze up. How would you approach this situation if you were in my shoes?
Actually, as noted by the multiple burglaries/home invasions by the fellows Joe Horn shot (the burglars targeted asian immigrants), your parents could be more at risk than they think. I was in Vietnam years ago when the currency nose dived. Many asians (and other races) often feel more comfortable keeping cash at home from what I understand. That, and being immigrants, could put that at an elevated risk for robberies. I hope they change their mind about having a weapon for protection.
Re: Need Help: The Parents Found Out...
Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:25 pm
by lawrnk
NguyenVanDon wrote:Thank you all for the advice. My parents are very anti-gun to the max. I think the best solution at this time is to let things run its course. If they happen to call me again and talk about my issue of having a gun, then I'm going to tell them straight up about how I feel about it. It's good that I don't see my parents everyday because they are living in Houston, while I'm currently staying in the Arlington/Grand Prairie area. I'll give ya an update later to see how thing works out.
You could also state that you symphathize with what the went through, but that you are an American and choose to keep a firearm for protection!
I'd also be really peeved about them searching your place if it were me.