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Grew up in a Christian home, under the, "You boys don't fight... Turn the other cheek" mentality. I can affirm, that in my case, it definitely left me feeling like a victim, especially given that I skipped the 2nd grade, and so, was younger and smaller than most everybody else.

It wasn't until I had a Bachelors degree And Masters in Theology and had studied the Bible intensely for about 25 years that it dawned on me that the Bible has much more to say on that issue than, "turn the other cheek", and that that verse was being seriously mishandled. This realization was extremely liberating. Getting my CHL was a direct application of this truth, and a pivotal point in my journey.

Fortunately, this realization occurred about the time my youngest - my son - was entering Jr. Hi. I had never forbid him from defending himself, but at this point, I had an intentional conversation with him. Our school district has a zero tolerance policy regarding fighting - everyone caught fighting, regardless of who started it, was supposed to be suspended - at least three days, I think. (Part of their "victim-development program" ) But I told him he had a green light to do whatever he needed to defend himself. If he got suspended for that, so be it. We would deal with that when it came.

A little while after that conversation, I was coaching one of his 7-on-7 teams, and one of his teammates started shoving him around and talking trash to him. My son told him to "bring it on - right now". The kid shut up right there, and my son never had another problem with him. Now my son is a Freshman in college. I just called and checked with him, and that was the closest he ever came to having to fight. The willingness to defend himself was all it took for him, at least thus far. When society attempts to take that option away with strategies like "zero-tolerance policies" they are indeed creating victims, and by extension, allowing bullies develop, when someone standing up to them, or even a punch in the nose would have ended their bullying ways.

(Previewed my post before submitting it and discovered that, apparently, the forum software had "corrected" my post. I had used the abbreviation for Bachelor of Science when referring to my undergrad degree. The software apparently "cleaned up" my post so that it read "It wasn't until I had a bull And Masters in Theology..." )

The Annoyed Man wrote:

mgood wrote:I did look up "conflated."

That's when you let the air out of one balloon, and put it in another.

No, no, no. It's where the air designated for one specific balloon gets put into another balloon because the actor doesn't realize the significance of the difference between the two.

Skub... Too true about "turn the other cheeck" being seriously misrepresented by those who have only glossed over the Bible and haven't studied. I've had Matthew 5:39 thrown in my face more times than I can count and have had some great discussions re-educating people on what it (and the surrounding verses) really means.

I was raised to never start a fight, but to always stand up for myself and for those who are weaker and cannot defend themselves. In elementary school and junior high, I had glasses & braces and got good grades... I was essentially a bully magnet. However, I fought back when bullys attacked, a I fought really well! By the time I got to high school, I had gained a reputation as the guy who you just don't try to bully unless you want to come away from the confrontation pretty torn up. I NEVER started a single fight, but I finished several. I was suspended several times, but I was never punished by my Dad for fighting. My refusal to be a victim or to see others victimized is a large part of why I carry today. Bullies are simple, and the correct method of dealing with them is the same now as it was whn my Dad was a kid.