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Lambda Force wrote:Do you wish you were still married to your fist wife?

No, not for a long time now. But there was a time when I did. We separated in 1978 and our divorce was final in 1981. I didn't remarry until 1988. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then. But I will say this, hindsight being 20/20 and having the benefit of 33 additional years of wisdom since then, my ex-wife and I got married for all the wrong reasons. We did not go through pre-marital counseling. Toward the end, we were not faithful to one another. And, most importantly from where I sit today, we did not enter into marriage before God and seeking His blessings on it. We didn't believe in Him.

McKnife wrote:

There is nothing my wife could ever do that I would not forgive her for doing it. Nothing.

Wow. I don't know if I agree with you, but your example gives me the chills because I don't think I could ever forgive her for such devastation and breaking of trust. I always tell myself that the ONLY reason I would ever split from my wife, whom I haven't met yet, would be infidelity.

Infidelity is justification, even a Biblically acceptable excuse. But, infidelity does not require divorce as a response. The decision to divorce after infidelity is discovered is a choice we can make. I also have a choice to forgive or not. I choose to forgive. In advance. God forbid it would ever come to that, I would have to figure how to live with it—but it is a commitment I've already made. Yes, I have a divorce in my past. What's done is done, and my past is the reason that I won't throw stones at others. The one sure fire way to make sure that it never happens to me again is simply to not include the word in my vocabulary. Divorce is something inconceivable to me. Same as I could not conceive of living without my Christian faith. I have been single before. I have been divorced before. I have been a non-believer before. But even though I have been those things before, I cannot imagine being single again; I cannot imagine being divorced again; and I cannot imagine living life without faith again. We learn from our mistakes. Hopefully.

LikesShinyThings wrote:As to those who say divorce is bad... for the most part I agree with you. In this case, I saw the divorce coming four years ago. She did everything she could, but there are some things that make staying in the marriage much worse than leaving. In this case, I happen to think divorce is the correct decision for her.

You make an excellent point. Divorce is often a Bad Thing but sometimes the alternative is worse.

For those making religious arguments about civil law, it may help to remember that religions have the right to refuse to recognize the civil dissolution of a religious union, should they choose to do so. That's nothing new. In fact, I seem to recall reading about something happening in England along those lines during the 1500s.

http://www.nolo.com/online-legal-forms/ ... w-divorce/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The Annoyed Man wrote:I have been single before. I have been divorced before. I have been a non-believer before. But even though I have been those things before, I cannot imagine being single again; I cannot imagine being divorced again; and I cannot imagine living life without faith again. We learn from our mistakes. Hopefully.

Very well-put. Thank you!!