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Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:19 pm
by Lynyrd
There are no shark attacks while the sharks are watching Chuck Norris week. They are too scared.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:32 pm
by Keith B
OK, just got this in email. Maybe Chuck has a replacement.
Quote of the Week.
When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O'Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden), said,
"General Mattis has a bear rug in his home. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move".
Edit to add: Found the same joke on Chuck here
viewtopic.php?f=83&t=79089&p=1005348
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:54 pm
by ninjabread
Chuck's email address is
gmail@chucknorris.com
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 9:42 pm
by Bitter Clinger
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:25 pm
by WildBill
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:30 pm
by Skiprr
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He only waits.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
And, this classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-D1KVIuvjA
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 5:55 pm
by puma guy
AndyC wrote:Chuck Norris died at his home in Texas this morning.
He has since recovered from this minor inconvenience and is reported to be hunting for the Grim Reaper.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 7:50 pm
by ninjabread
Death is about to have a near-Chuck experience.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:20 pm
by Vol Texan
When United tried to remove Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:35 pm
by warnmar10
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 4:57 pm
by allisji
That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:03 pm
by Jusme
allisji wrote:That giant crater in eastern Afghanistan? No, it wasn't the Mother of all Bombs, Chuck Norris was flying over when he suddenly sneezed.
Yeah, but Afghanistan has promised him that they have now removed all possible allergiens, after a very short meeting with Chuck.
I also heard everyone was afraid to say "bless you" since it was already assumed.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:41 am
by C-dub
Borrowed from Puma Guy in the meme thread. It needed to be over here too.
Re: Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:09 am
by OneGun
Chuck Norris was about to walk into a bar, but the bar ducked out of Chuck's way.
