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Hello, My wife of 13 years is totally against carrying and against having a pistol in the house..

What tactics have you used if any that might have help...

What tactics have you used if any that might have help...

Divorce?

JUST KIDDING!!!

Seriously, does she give any kind of rational arguments as to why? Have you had any kind of in-depth discussions about it while trying to avoid getting all emotional about it?

After 13 years, that's a tall order. Ask her to acompany you to the range for a little target practice. Start out with a 22lr and a brick of ammo. If she shoots it, and likes it, she may eventually ask if you've brought anything of a larger caliber. Let her ask, don't suggest it on your own.
She won't mind a pistol in the house after she's discovered that shooting one is something that you can enjoy together. This worked with my wife but it took 8 years. Now she shoots competitively, both IDPA and Cowboy Action shooting.

Keep in mind, this could be a very slow process. Don't push or she'll probably push back.

Good luck!

When my wife and I were dating she came to my house and when she saw my gun cabinet she told me that she couldn't imagine living in a house with guns.

When we requalified for our CHLs, she fired a perfect score.

Gentle persuasion, combined with lots of loving gentle persuasion, and above all, gentle persuasion.

One small step at a time.

Good luck. I don't have the patience of some of these guys, so I weed out the anti freedom types early in the dating process.

I think it was someone here on this board that suggested keeping a folder of articles from the local paper of acts of criminal violence that occur. Point these out to your wife and note where they occurred in relation to where you live or either of you work or places you frequent. When she starts seeing that bad things happen to good people close to places that she goes all the time, she might start having a change of heart. A big eye-opener for my wife was a flasher across the street from my son's school less than three blocks from our house.

As others have said, be gentle. Don't brow-beat her. Tell her you love her and couldn't stand to see anything bad happen to her. That's why you think it necessary to protect her and help her protect herself.

Thank you all so far for the GREAT ideas.

Here is the thing, when she was 16 she got held up at a pizza shop ( with a gun ).

Two years ago, her and I was at Hulen mall buying some store fixtures from a closed down store, anyhow on the way out the side employee door she was about 50 feet in front of me with a small box in her arms and I was pushing a very large display fixture out on one of those flatbed dolly's, she was approached by a black man with a gun, asked her what time it was and when she finally realized what he really wanted it was too late he had the gun to her side, she gave him her purse and the bad guys took off in a car. I never saw a thing, happened so fast...

She has what she calls been lucky without a gun, and says that a gun in both of those situations would have probably gotten her killed, now I can't really argue with her on that, but when it come to me carrying she doesn't have a problem. I have only been carrying for about 8 months now, I have tried to get her to come to the range with me, but she doesn't show any interest.

She will shoot our .22 scoped rifle out back if I ask her, but has no interest in a handgun, and doesn't even want one in the house.......

Wow, your wife has had some "interesting" experiences. I glad she is alright, but you might have some work to do to get her over her fears for you to carry. Here's what worked for me, and maybe it'll work for you.

Be patient and honest. Have several discussions with her, finding out her issues and roadblocks. Talk about her fears. Keep it open and honest, but use this time to find out her doubts. Don't try to solve them at first, just listen. Once my wife and I really started talking about it, she got past the typical anti arguments (mostly false and Hollywood driven), and I started to find out her real issues. Over time, start addressing these fears with sound answers and facts, try to keep your emotions in check.

While listening to these talks, start formulating your true reason for carrying. My reasons were primarily for security and "self-preservation" of the family. If you have kids, be sure you have a plan to address the security of the gun (home safe, car safe, etc). Talk about how you plan to educate your kids on gun safety.

It took me about a year to convince my wife it was a good idea, and she is "ok" with it now. But once she understood why I wanted to carry, and how I was planning on doing it, and how I would protect/educate the kids, she came around to it.

One discussion point I used that was very effective was:

When we're 90 years old, I really hope you'll hit me in the back of the head and say "See I told you so, you didn't need to carry that piece of metal around for all of those years, see you didn't need it." I'd rather have that conversion with you than the "I wish I had been carrying when XYZ happened many years ago, I could have prevent ABC from getting hurt."

I asked her which conversation she'd rather have when we're 90.

Furthermore, get some training, even if it is basic. Learn to use the gun correctly and safely. Show your wife that you're serious about safety. Start competing in IPSC and/or IDPA. This will get you familiar with your gun.

Good luck, but be patient, and she'll come around. Just my $0.02....

Ryan

When we're 90 years old, I really hope you'll hit me in the back of the head and say "See I told you so, you didn't need to carry that piece of metal around for all of those years, see you didn't need it." I'd rather have that conversion with you than the "I wish I had been carrying when XYZ happened many years ago, I could have prevent ABC from getting hurt."

I asked her which conversation she'd rather have when we're 90.[/quote]

Wow, that's a great point to make.

Thanks.......

What about the 2 home invasions that just recently happened in the Ft Worth area? 2 of the 3 intruders were killed by the HOMEOWNER. What are her thoughts on that?
I agree that it will take lots of time and patients.
I believe that you shouldnt force her to shoot handguns but I also believe that she should force you into a position to NOT be able to defend your family by saying you cant have a gun in the house.

smokindragon wrote: She has what she calls been lucky without a gun, and says that a gun in both of those situations would have probably gotten her killed, now I can't really argue with her on that, but when it come to me carrying she doesn't have a problem. I have only been carrying for about 8 months now, I have tried to get her to come to the range with me, but she doesn't show any interest.

So on two different occasions some years ago she had a gun pointed at her. Now she is afraid to have one around. Sounds like she still being a victim and letting those two BG's get to her to this day. You know I have always said that I would want to be tried by 12 rather than be carried by 6 but I would take being carried by 6 over living in fear of what could happen. In both of those situations it’s possible that she could have taken two BGs off the street. Instead they are still out there somewhere doing who knows what to who knows who. AggieMM said it best. I know which conversation I would want to have. I hope your wife does too.

"but I also believe that she should force you into a position to NOT be able to defend your family by saying you cant have a gun in the house

That is really my main real BEEF...

How can I protect my family with a .22 rifle, I know it's better than nothing. But the .40cal handgun just seems like the wise choice since I am so accustomed to it and it is allot faster to get into hands.

I print up all shootings especially the ones nearby, and set them around the house. She has read them, then tosses them. I have asked her before what she thought about them and she normally responds, thank God we are in the country.. hmmmmmm

if you do a search on here you will find a few discusions about this. My wife and talked about the CHL thing and she was all for it. Till I got the plastic and relized that I was going to carry everywhere that I possiably could. I told her that what I was going to do from the start and thats the way its going to be. Since she has come to accept it. We even started talking about what to do if something should happen and I am forced to act.

Only thing I worry about now are the times where my son and I are out alone but thats a topic for another post.

Tell her when/if the time comes again is she going to be able to just toss it or change the channel. What if next time is by some one that had a hard time at his last robbery and isnt going to take any kind of chances or leave any witnesses what so ever.

"Honey, this is a dealbreaker. I carry this for YOUR and MY protection. If you can not handle it, I'll help you move out and pay for a place until you get on your feet again."

I like the rational discussion method myself. Ask her what her concerns are and address them forthrightly. Logic, facts and gentle persuasion will hopefully win but it may take awhile.