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What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:43 am
by CrimsonSoul
Ok so I have some neighbors right next door to me in the apartment complex I'm at that every now and then get into fights. The male occupant has a history of hitting his wife and tonight when they started fighting while I was trying to sleep I called the cops (as me and the wife know he has a warrant out but he won't answer the door when anyone knocks because of this) and they showed up in about 1 minute (wow) and talked then took him for a ride.
My question for you all is this. Say I hear him hitting her while I'm on the phone with the police or while I'm trying to call them is there anything I can legally do to intervene or should I just wait on the police to show up and be a good witness, note that they are inside their apartment with the door locked. The female occupant is really nice and has two kids with the husband and I'd hate to see her hurt on my indifference to react to the situation. How would any of you handle this, or what suggestions can you give?
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 6:21 am
by hheremtp
CrimsonSoul wrote:Ok so I have some neighbors right next door to me in the apartment complex I'm at that every now and then get into fights. The male occupant has a history of hitting his wife and tonight when they started fighting while I was trying to sleep I called the cops (as me and the wife know he has a warrant out but he won't answer the door when anyone knocks because of this) and they showed up in about 1 minute (wow) and talked then took him for a ride.
My question for you all is this. Say I hear him hitting her while I'm on the phone with the police or while I'm trying to call them is there anything I can legally do to intervene or should I just wait on the police to show up and be a good witness, note that they are inside their apartment with the door locked. The female occupant is really nice and has two kids with the husband and I'd hate to see her hurt on my indifference to react to the situation. How would any of you handle this, or what suggestions can you give?
I think that you did what you should have done. I would not attempt to gain access to their home even if he was hitting her. If he shot you after you broke in he would probably get no billed for it. Think about it, he has no idea that you are just coming in to stop him from abusing his wife, for all he knows you could be there to rob them, especially if you have a weapon on you. now, if they are outside, that's another story.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:20 am
by bdickens
Legal or not, getting in the middle of a domestic dispute is stupid and dangerous. That is the type of call that police are the most afraid of. Both of them will turn on you.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:48 am
by MoJo
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:09 am
by tallmike
If she does not care enough to improve her situation, why would you? Dont get in the middle of it. Call the cops for her but certainly do not get involved by being her "hero"
She ruins her life to stay with him so I imagine that if you did something for her, and it got to court, she would be willing to ruin your life so she could stay with him too.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:19 am
by TLynnHughes
I have a little experience in this arena. Your intervention would be dangerous to you and could actually make matters worse for her in the long run. Call the police without delay, pray she finds strength and pray for protection for the children.
T.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:05 pm
by cougartex
Call the police, DO NOT intervene.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 3:39 pm
by Bonc_CHL

With everyone else, especially with a 1 minute response time from the law.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 4:25 pm
by powerboatr
cougartex wrote:Call the police, DO NOT intervene.
its unfortunate she lets him beat on her
just as its unfortunate that ladies also beat on their spouses.
but your an outsider and most likely would be putting yourself in unnecessary danger.
call the cops and let them dodge the bullets and threats,
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 6:04 pm
by HankB
I would NOT repeat NOT get myself involved (beyond the obvious, calling 911) in a domestic dispute with people unrelated to me.
Trained LEOs hate domestic calls, for good reason . . . why in the world would I get involved, especially with no backup? LOTS of downside, no upside.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:36 pm
by CrimsonSoul
Bonc_CHL wrote:
With everyone else, especially with a 1 minute response time from the law.
One minute response time for two patrol cars at that (which was probably everyone on duty at the time, small town)
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:38 pm
by marksiwel
the best time to get involved with a Domestic Disturbance is AFTER.
Offer the abused a place to stay, make sure they arent being abused, help them if you can.
Also dont jump to conclusions. Cops arrested a Co-Workers husband for Abuse, turns out it was defense, his wife had a mean left hook
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 8:11 pm
by The Annoyed Man
marksiwel wrote:the best time to get involved with a Domestic Disturbance is AFTER.
Offer the abused a place to stay, make sure they arent being abused, help them if you can.
I'm with you on that one. I agree that you should not interfere during the actual dispute — unless you are out in public somewhere and you witness an
obvious case of abuse in which it could be no other thing besides abuse. And even that is potentially a very dangerous situation.
A friend of mine back in California is a member of a predominantly black evangelical church in which a number of the elders and other leaders in the church are former college or pro football players. My friend played for Ohio State 30 years ago himself. Let's just say that he is an imposing individual. Anyway, whenever word comes to the elders or pastoral staff that a husband in the congregation is abusing his wife, they just get together a group of 4 or 5 of the brethren to go pay a visit. During said visit, they gently inform the abuser that they love him as a brother.... ....and if he ever lays a hand on his wife in anger again, they will be back to give him a taste of his own medicine.
They've never had to make that second trip.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 9:44 pm
by gigag04
Yeah - you did the right thing.
Disturbances are the most dangerous calls we make.
Re: What to do in a domestic disturbance
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 10:01 pm
by UncleBob
I agree with most here. Stay out of it and let the police deal with it. It's sad, because good people (I assume the wife and kids) are really the victims here if it is what you say it is.
That said, most of my cop friends tell me that the wives very rarely ever turn on their husbands. Usually because they have no where to go, are dependent on their spouse for money or are just plain affraid to leave because of being afraid of being found and beaten.