Sometimes crime IS FUNNY
Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:03 pm
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List of important elements in a funny crime story:
1. Attempting to rob someone with something that's not really a weapon
Check
2. The victim beating you over the head with another non-weapon object when he realizes you don't really have a weapon
Check
3. Fleeing the scene with a TRANSGENDERED PROSTITUTE and hoping none of your buddies find out what you were doing last night ...
PRICELESS!
Man attempts to hold up gas station with caulk gun
By Lindsey Bomnin | Friday, June 18, 2010, 11:51 AM
Police have issued an arrest warrant for a man accused of injuring a gas station clerk while attempting to rob him — with a caulk gun.
The suspect fled the scene in the company of a transgender prostitute he’d picked up earlier in the evening, according to an affidavit issued by the Travis County Sheriff’s Office.
The affidavit says the clerk, Johnnie Limuel, 68, told police that a man dressed in women’s clothing entered the Speedy Stop on East 51st Street around 4 a.m. June 7 and bought a pack of cigarettes and $5 worth of gas, the affidavit said.
Just after he walked out to a red pickup truck at a gas pump, another man — who police later identified as Jose Alejandro Romero, 17 — walked into the store with a caulk gun partially visible under a white t-shirt, the affidavit said.
The man pointed the caulk gun at Limuel and demanded money, the affidavit said.
Limuel told police he thought it was a joke when he saw the caulk gun, but the assailant continued to demand money, the affidavit said.
The man struck Limuel with the caulk gun after he could not open the cash drawer, the affidavit said, then Limuel struck back, hitting the man with a plastic trash can.
The assailant left the store without any money and sped off in the red pickup truck, the affidavit said.
The other man, later identified as Kenneth Williams, a transgender prostitute, told police that Romero had picked him up from the street before the attempted robbery, the affidavit said.
Williams spent the night driving around with Romero as he got money from several locations including his mobile home to buy and smoke crack, the affidavit said.
It was during this time that Williams suggested they stop at a gas station, because he wanted to buy cigarettes, the affidavit said.
Police confirmed Romero’s identity yesterday when they visited his mobile home where his mother also lives, the affidavit said.
Police have not arrested Romero, who has been charged with aggravated robbery, the affidavit said.
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List of important elements in a funny crime story:
1. Attempting to rob someone with something that's not really a weapon
Check
2. The victim beating you over the head with another non-weapon object when he realizes you don't really have a weapon
Check
3. Fleeing the scene with a TRANSGENDERED PROSTITUTE and hoping none of your buddies find out what you were doing last night ...
PRICELESS!
