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My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:01 am
by The Annoyed Man
My mother's companion of many years, Andrew Charwat, died this morning in the hospital while recovering from surgery he underwent a few days ago.

You've heard me talk about his old-world socialist politics and atheism on these pages, but you've also seen me mention his old-world charm and intelligence. He was a professor of fluid mechanics at UCLA, and was dean of the engineering department there for a while. Andrew was a personable and delightful man, and he looked after my mother for many years. This is the second love of her life that she has survived, the first being my father. Andrew and his late wife had been longtime friends of my mother's and father's, and after the deaths of both spouses, they found first comfort, and then love, in one another's presence.

He use to really piss me off when talking about politics, which he loved to do with me, and yet I liked him very much and appreciated his regard for my mom. My poor mother is simply devastated and has lost her voice—literally, figuratively in Andrew's advocacy on her behalf, and spiritually. I just tied phoning her, and she could not talk. She is leaving for the hospital to meet Andrew's children to talk about next steps.

Please pray for my mom. The really sad part is Andrew's atheism. We who pray know what that means and do not have to elaborate it, but pray maybe for my mom to wake up spiritually and come to Jesus.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:06 am
by jayinsat
May the God of Peace bring comfort and clarity to all affected. In Jesus Name.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:38 am
by fickman
God can use this for her conversion. I pray that He will. And for His comfort at the same time.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:10 pm
by carlson1
We will be praying for your Mom.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:16 pm
by mojo84
Please accept my sincerest condolences and prayers for your family during this time.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:27 pm
by baldeagle
TAM, you and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers today. May God see her through this difficult time and help her to see the way forward.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:40 pm
by OnceFired
I'll be praying for your mom & Andrew, and both families. You never know what was going through his mind in his final moments.

ZA

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:17 pm
by The Annoyed Man
Thank you everyone for your prayers. This is why I love this board so much. I spoke to my mom again this afternoon. They still don't know for sure what took him, but he was beginning to show signs of post-op infection, and he had an increase in pain, so it was probably that. His surgery was to relieve a blockage of his small intestine. He was doing much better and at first his surgeon was optimistic about his recovery. But he started to take a turn for the worse yesterday, and they gave him a lot of morphine for the pain. The morphine pretty much knocked him out, but my mom said that he had a moment of lucidity last night during which he must have realized that he was going to die because he was very emphatic to his nurse that he absolutely did not want any resuscitation efforts if he arrested, and then he fell asleep again. My mom was not there at the moment of his death, although she had been spending a lot of time at his bedside. When she got back to the hospital this morning she said that his body was still warm, and that his face was very peaceful looking. So at least he didn't suffer too much for too long at the end.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:29 pm
by mojo84
This is just another example of there being no such thing as "minor" surgery. Hope your mom finds peace and comfort.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:42 pm
by chuck j
Prayers for your mother already sent , I don't need to tell you but hang in there trying to get her to accept Christ .

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:24 pm
by jimlongley
Prayers.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:26 pm
by Excaliber
Prayers sent for both.

The Lord may have visited him before his death and he may have accepted Him then.

We pray that it is so.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:27 pm
by texanjoker
Sorry to hear that. Your mother is in our prayers.

Re: My mother's boyfriend just died....

Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:27 pm
by C-dub
Very sorry about your mom's loss. I hope she is able to go on. I do remember how you've talked about him before.