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There have been many discussions, here and elsewhere on the web, regarding what’s the best caliber and bullet. The opinions seem to range from “Who cares, any bullet will work” to “Brand X is clearly the best and to carry anything else is just folly” and everything in-between. This appears to be driven by an individual’s opinion of the importance of ammo selection. Some think it’s the highest priority and some think it’s not worth considering. I suspect the answer lies somewhere in-between the two extremes.
I have a continuum of priority that I generally follow when thinking about issues related to self defense (SD) involving a firearm:

1) Strategic Awareness
2) Situational Awareness
3) Choice of carry
4) Weaponry
5) Training
6) Ammo selection

Strategic Awareness consists of knowing what areas/locations to basically stay out of. For instance, there are areas of Austin I would not choose to enter, armed or otherwise. Strategically, it makes sense to just avoid those areas since it will reduce the likelihood I will end up in a SD situation.

Situational Awareness is the tactical partner to Strategic Awareness. Basically, it’s an admission that crime happens in locations you didn’t predict, or conversely, you can’t always predict the areas to stay out of. In other words, staying out of the high risk areas reduces your risk, but it doesn’t set it to zero and you may not be aware of all high risk areas.
I also include avoidance of the fight in this category. This is where, for me, de-escalation comes into play and also escape and evasion (EE).
Up to this point in the continuum the desired end result is to avoid having to deploy my weapon.

Choice of carry is next on the list for me. Will it meet my required concealment? In a reasonable SD situation will I be able to effectively bring the weapon into play?

Weaponry is of course what weapon you choose to carry. Is it reliable? Will it meet the required concealment criteria? Keep in mind the legal limit is only the lowest bar; your situation may require much deeper concealment than required by law or possibly no concealment at all.
Of course there are many things more that go into the selection of weapon…

Training to me is more than just taking an NRA course or reading/viewing self defense material. It also includes practice and taking diverse training…and then practicing what you learned…and did I mention practice!

And last on my continuum is ammo selection. Will it have penetration enough to get to vital areas? How much will I need to carry for what I have decided is the reasonable worst case scenario?
As with all the other items on the continuum, there is a myriad of things that have to be considered.

So which side of the fence do I come down on, Ammo is a top priority, or don’t worry about it? I fall into the category of it’s important, but not as important as the other 5 items.
Notice the first two items in the continuum are intended to avoid the fight. If I’m successful in those, I didn’t even need to bring a gun, so how would ammo selection even matter?
Now the weapon and its ammo are useless unless I can bring them into play in the allotted time, hence carry is important.
Once the weapon comes into play it needs to be reliable, if not, does ammo selection make up for an inoperative weapon?
If I can’t hit the target after bringing the weapon into play, the ammo choice doesn’t matter…training is important
Only after all the above criteria has been met will the ammo selection become critical.

Of course each item on the continuum is worthy of in-depth discussion. But I find it helpful to have a top-level priority list so I keep things in perspective.

Number one is to avoid the fight. The next priority is to escape the fight. If those fail, the priority is to win the fight. In all three the ultimate goal is the good guys do not get killed or maimed…