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CHL/LEO wrote:In regards to drawing my weapon I'm kinda like Steve, it's happened so much that it's now just a non event. If I recall correctly, the first couple of times it happened I replayed the event over and over in my mind just critiquing and playing "what if" scenarios. After a while though you don't even think about it really, other than asking yourself did I draw soon enough, or what would I have done different. Prior to leaving the scene it's history and you're off to the next call. Even late at night when I'm driving home after a shift I don't even think about it. In fact, reading this post if the first time in years that I've even given it any thought.

This was generally my experience also in situations where I had at least a few seconds to figure out what was going on. I did much more personal after action review with cases where I had to draw unexpectedly to deal with something that either I hadn't seen as I approached (what could I have done to get a better understanding of what was going on before getting close?), or something a suspect did suddenly that may have presented an unexpected threat, like reaching into his pocket when told to show his hands. (Did I challenge from the best available cover? What were my options if he had produced a firearm?)

Like CHL/LEO and the vast majority of other LEO's, I was fortunate in that I was never in a situation where I had to apply deadly force, although I was involved in a number of incidents where use of deadly force would have been justified under the law. In those cases, I saw other options and believed I could use them to resolve the situation at hand. As it turned out (you never know until it's over), those were good calls. Not everyone in my agency was so lucky, and several of the folks I worked closely with had to fire to resolve the situations they encountered. Had I been in the same situations, I would have had to fire too - there were no other options that any of us could see in post incident critiques, although there were always other tactical improvements identified. I am grateful that in all of those cases except one, the would be cop killers lost badly, and the officer in the other incident survived and recovered.

There is a difference between drawing a weapon in law enforcement and civilian situations. LEO's generally can draw their weapons whenever they fear for their safety, and don't have to prove that a deadly threat was present unless they apply deadly force. My agency did not classify drawing a weapon proactively as a recordable use of force unless the weapon was pointed at one or more individuals. This relieved some of the mental work a CHL has to do before he makes a decision to present his weapon at all.

Lonestar 48 wrote:I know this is a sensitive subject, but most of us have never been in these situations. For those of you that have drawn your firearm, what were your feelings just prior to, and for awhile, afterwards? And for those of you who have actually fired your weapon, how was it coping with the aftermath? Not litigation-wise, but more the mental side. Last week I talked about this with a Dallas LEO, and we discussed how they get the training for the mental aspect of firing their weapons, both pre and post, and the consequences of having done so, and we both wondered how a CHL holder would handle it.

I expect that many, if not all, of you who have fired your weapons might be hesitant to talk about it in this forum, but anything that could be shared might benefit the entire membership.

You've asked a very good but very complex question that would be really difficult to answer in a short post.

I suggest you pick up a copy of Col Dave Grossman's book On Combat. It's filled with the stories and the words of those who have lived through what you're asking about and shared their experiences, and it provides a wealth of solidly researched information on the physiological and psychological effects people encounter when they face life threatening danger and use weapons to defend their lives.