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I have an XD-40 4" and XD-40SC and find them to be reliable machines. I think I will continue to use them for a while, but I tried an HK P2000 and a S&W M&P recently - Very nice! While the .40 is snappy, it is very manageable, compared to full-house .357 Magnum. The XD-45 was just a rumor when I bought my XDs.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to shoot an XD-45 and it was very nice, a good push-type kick. I may be in trouble, because now I want one.

The trigger travel and reset on XD is much longer than a 1911. The grip safety on the XD is not a problem for comfort - a correct grip is all you need. The grip frames are different: The 1911 grip is narrow, but also longer. The XD-45 is wider than the XD-40, in order to get those 13 big rounds in there.

The XD-45's owner is a died-in-the-wool .45 man and did not like the .40 and he has 3 nice 1911s and a new XD-45. However, his wife was having some control and comfort issues with the XD-45, but she performed much better with the XD-40 (bull's eye on the first shot!), despite the snappy report. Hopefully, you can manage to get your daughter a chance to shoot several different pistols before you buy.

Speaking of grip shape, these polymer framed pistols may have advantage. A shooting partner of mine is a small-statured man and he recently had the grip of his Glock 19 reshaped and stippled by Robar. It changed the character of the pistol, in a good way.