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sugar land dave wrote:OP is just an asset base that the family will tap into via the daughter. This will eventually result in two decisions, one by the wife, one by the OP. I hope the two decisions will be as one.

pcgizzmo, you, the Original Poster, decided to bring this to the forum knowing that it would elicit replies from some grizzled old veterans of life. You should not have done that if you are unwilling to hear their words. They don't give them lightly.

Your situation is an old story, played out millions of times throughout the history of man. It has a pattern and a limited number of potential paths. You must be a man, or else you will be someone's puppet, with everyone but you pulling your strings and pushing your buttons. You will be the leader of your family, guiding them in your ways, or someone else will take on that role for you, leading your family in their ways.

Life veteran's on here have told you hard truths, earned through many years of living and observing without the benefit of rose-colored glasses. You must decide who you are for the benefit of your immediate family. It is not for anyone on this forum.

Will you sell your soul for this Bad Guy brother? Will you surrender your family's safety to placate your wife's parents? Will your wife trade the safety of the family? Will she choose her family over you? These are the really tough questions you face, and we cannot choose. Only you can, and the only comfort that I can offer you is that millions have gone before you, and no matter the choice and outcome, many will have been down that path before you.

My words are harsh, but you are in a tough situation and soft just won't get it done. It's time to "man up" as they say.

WildBill wrote:

RPBrown wrote:They are what is known as enablers. If they continue to do so, the results can be even more traumatic.

pcgizzmo wrote:Yes, I agree but I can't even say anything like that to them. There so caught up in the "look at our poor son and what the prison system has done to him"

If you really wanted to you can. You have, also, become an enabler. You are also caught up in the "look at our poor son/brother" mentality.

You want to save them, but nothing you can do will save them or their son. Since they have refused to get law enforcement involved they will continue to be manipulated by their son and nothing will improve. You are letting yourself be manipulated and you will continue to get frustrated and accomplish nothing. You and your wife will be dragged down into a never ending cycle of destruction. Unless the cycle is broken, it will continue to effect many future generations of the family.

My opinion will sound insensitive, callous and even cruel. But since you asked, my honest opinion is to cut them loose have nothing at all to do with them. Nothing! This is a hard decision, but one that you have to make. Accept the fact that you can't save them, but that is the only way that you will save yourself.

Good luck.

I don't really expect that my opinion will affect your actions, but IANAL, LEO, counselor, therapist, clergy etc.

I for one support your position, WildBill. I fully agree and was going to post something similar. OP is just an asset base that the family will tap into via the daughter. This will eventually result in two decisions, one by the wife, one by the OP. I hope the two decisions will be as one. Good luck and may GOD bless the OP.