REDNECK KENTUCKY KID in the Marine Corps

[The Annoyed Man]

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once.... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


Your loving daughter,

Alice

[nitrogen]

That was just great. I needed that laugh, thanks.

[jimlongley]

I think I dated her once when I was in the Navy. Once was enough, she wouldn't take her dogtags off.

[fannypacker]

I grew up in Kentucky and I knew a few gals like that.

[joe817]

That was great TAM! Thanks for sharing. I laughed all the way through it, but REALLY laughed at the end!

[williamkevin]

I think I served with her.....

[The Annoyed Man]

Reminds me of a girl called Martina who was in my officer's course class in 1985 - she was a national champion bodybuilder and highly offended that, as a female, she wasn't allowed to help carry the telephone poles and truck tires on our runs. She could have easily replaced any two guys

You shoulda married her while you had the chance.

[casingpoint]

Does that Marine have a sister...

[74novaman]

Saw a Marine Major take a 12 mile hump with a rifle and pack 7 months pregnant once. I thought she was going to run the obstacle course too....