Non-Words: Alittle / Alot / Noone

[KD5NRH]

Heck, I even got "deleated for inuendo" once.

Unfortunately, those mods seem to be the same ones showing up at protests:
http://memewatch.com/thelist/archives/pix/morans.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[RPB]

A lawyer (Westbury High School graduate, but I went to rival school, Bellaire) with whom I used to work would always type things such as "after the acident, the driver said he was 'all right,'" but I proofread for him and made everything alright.

I also wurked fur MSN Chat as securdy on da chatrooms for alllmos t fiteen years and saw nearly erey way 2 speel stuff thier is. Sew, I do make Alotta typos and spell wurds rong Alot on da innernet dough cuz tha spull chukler here duddn werk reel gud, and I ne'er correct udders cuz mah brudder can't spell tooo good neither ev'n tho he's gotta 145 I.Q. (Nor do I make fun cuz his is lower'n mines' is. Cuz it hertz his feelin's big like megahertz).

You edited this twice and this is the end result?

LOL
Does an undomesticated ursus defecate in a sylvan environ? (Since I moved away from Rice University area to the country, I now ask "Is grits corn?" and get a quicker response.) I hurryed to get to the Poles and get my votes casted, butt I tryed to teech my 2 daughter's spellin' (we argued four over and our when won was in Kindergarden, because her teecher tol' her she had red a book, and she rejected the word "read") cause it mite bee relly impotent to unnerstand and fallow directions when someone leafs a note too ...
"eat every carrot and pea on your plate."
(I still don't like carrots and peas, and I'll never forget that spanking.)
(Just kidding; didn't really happen, but a good example. Still, I don't care for carrots and peas allot. )

[chartreuse]

"Effect" vs. "affect"

Yep, that one annoys me too.

Another one, which I've yet to encounter in TX, but which was widespread back in England, is people saying "Pacific" in place of "specific".

[RPB]

"apropos" (concerning) vs "appropriate" (proper)
"I have more information apropos the dress code, regarding what is considered appropriate attire for Casual Friday."

"wording" (how something is said) vs "verbiage" ("verbal garbage" - i.e. an excess of words)
"The wording of the summary was much more concise and understandable than the verbiage of the related proposal."

One apparently seen on a police report:
"During the accident the victim had his foot decapitated."
(reportedly, the chief bought dictionaries for all his staff after that one.)

One that's very common in this area:
"Thank you, eh?"
To me it sounds as if the person doing the thanking has to have it confirmed that it really was understood as thanks.

And here's another I encounter frequently when answering the phone:
'Hi, I'm calling? can you answer a question?"

That police report reminds me of a medical report I read while reviewing medical records for a personal injury suit.
"After surgery, the patient appeared to be resting comfortably in the recovery room in bed with her parents."

Also:
verbage spelling, jargon /ver'b*j/ A deliberate misspelling and mispronunciation of verbiage that assimilates it to the word "garbage".
Some lawyers I've known exercise verbosity in pleadings. And, I should stop posting in this thread, and move on to reading others, as my own posts now appear to me to be an exercise in garrulousness.

[chabouk]

"Allot" in place of "a lot"; a quantity.
"Plead" as the past tense of "to plead"; it should be "pleaded".
"Busted" for "burst" or "broke"; it's even seen in mainstream news these days that "police busted down the door" to serve a warrant.
"Literally" for "figuratively"; it literally kills me to hear that one!

There are a number of cases were lazy speech results in people using words or phrases improperly when writing. They don't know the meaning of what they say, but I suppose there is some comfort to be taken in the fact they are at least writing it down phonetically. I'm sure I'll think of some examples soon after I post this.

It's not heard as commonly these days, but when people were first figuring out internet addresses we often heard "forward slash". I'm sorry, but no: there is "slash", and "back slash", but there is no "forward slash".

In this corner of Texas, we hear frequent reference to "Shreespote", that city in northwestern Louisiana.

[RPB]

Yuppers, I'd reply, but I'm old, so I'm exorcising that demon making me exercise.
But, I agree, them ones you said above are agregious. (It should be egregious, but it's a common error.)

[chabouk]

There are a number of cases were lazy speech results in people using words or phrases improperly when writing. They don't know the meaning of what they say, but I suppose there is some comfort to be taken in the fact they are at least writing it down phonetically. I'm sure I'll think of some examples soon after I post this.

And, of course, I did: "would of" or "should of", in place of "would've" or "should've". People aren't even aware that it's a contraction of "would have/should have", so they write it as they speak it.

[Kythas]

"Loose" for "lose" is one I'm seeing all over the place lately and it drives me crazy.

Will I loose my CHL for a DWI?

I don't know. Will your CHL become less tight?

[The Annoyed Man]

Heck, I even got "deleated for inuendo" once.

Oldgringo, don't you know that it's not deleated? It's deleteated.

No it's not. Any fool knows it is "deleatated."

[marksiwel]

[chartreuse]

Unpossible is a perfectly cromulent word.

[marksiwel]

Unpossible is a perfectly cromulent word.

it inbiggins my spirit

[The Annoyed Man]

...sort of like that old word for "happy or carefree" which now means you prefer your significant other to have some hair on their back.

"significant other to have some hair on his back." Fixed it for ya.

Of course you're correct. I realized that one at the time I typed it, but I was trying to be deliberately gender neutral, since I thought the joke was even more funny if taken that way.

Yahgotmee.