The Wife!

[UncleBob]

A couple of questions for you guys. I am currently waiting for my license however I have weapons in my home at the moment.

There has been a rash of crime in my area, from broken in cars to home invasions. I currently sleep with my weapon close by and during the day I have my pistol on me at all times - while on my property.

My wife calls me paranoid, and perhaps I am just a little. However I am a disabled veteran, and under normal circumstances can't physically fight off a criminal. It only makes sense to me to have a gun.

Any advice on how to convince my wife that I am not paranoid, nor am I a gun nut? I'm a photographer by trade and still do that, shooting isn't one of my biggest activities, but I do enjoy going to the range from time to time.
I have added extra locks to the house, and garage and also added extra external lights to the house to make me less of a target at night.

What arguments can I use to convince my wife that this is in our best interest? She's not against me, however she isn't really supporting my efforts either. I don't want to wait until something bad happens before she see's things my way, but I feel responsible for protecting my family by having weapons and using passive measures too (extra lights, locks and so forth)

[mymojo]

Any advice on how to convince my wife that I am not paranoid, nor am I a gun nut?

Make her watch the evening news every night.


Someone had a signature line (and I paraphrase) "When they bury me they can call me paranoid. Until then, they should just call me prepared."

[MoJo]

To paraphrase Clint Smith - - - Paranoid? I have a gun, I don't need to be paranoid.

[7075-T7]

My wife was the same way when we met. She couldn't imagine why ANYONE would need a gun for protection.

a Louis Pasteur once said, "Fortune favors the prepared mind" which I take to mean, there is no luck, but you can do things to push the event in your favor.

They way I convinced my wife about firearms and eventually my CHL was that she could tell me "I told you so!!!" if we live to be a ripe old age of 100, and in saying that I hope to never say "I told you so" to her, but she'll be darn glad if I have to.

Better to have it and not need it 10,000 times over, than need it and not have it once.


Or depending on your relationship just say, "tough cookies cupcake, now get in there and make me a sandwhich" This has NEVER worked for me so YMMV.

[Rex B]

Someone else suggested the term "preparanoid"

[Papacub]

Someone else suggested the term "preparanoid"

I REALLY like that term!!! Preparanoid.....I think I will borrow it! Thanks!

[cougartex]

Someone else suggested the term "preparanoid"

[gemini]

A couple of questions for you guys. I am currently waiting for my license however I have weapons in my home at the moment.

There has been a rash of crime in my area, from broken in cars to home invasions. I currently sleep with my weapon close by and during the day I have my pistol on me at all times - while on my property.

My wife calls me paranoid, and perhaps I am just a little. However I am a disabled veteran, and under normal circumstances can't physically fight off a criminal. It only makes sense to me to have a gun.

Any advice on how to convince my wife that I am not paranoid, nor am I a gun nut? I'm a photographer by trade and still do that, shooting isn't one of my biggest activities, but I do enjoy going to the range from time to time.
I have added extra locks to the house, and garage and also added extra external lights to the house to make me less of a target at night.

What arguments can I use to convince my wife that this is in our best interest? She's not against me, however she isn't really supporting my efforts either. I don't want to wait until something bad happens before she see's things my way, but I feel responsible for protecting my family by having weapons and using passive measures too (extra lights, locks and so forth)

I've been married 24yr. It just keeps getting better for me. Before I got married (dated 2 yr / engaged 1 yr) my wife knew I hunted and fished. No problem. It's never been an issue. MY FIL was a gun owner and we got along great. He lived in the country and had guns
hidden all over his house. In case of break in etc. My wife wasn't pro gun or anti gun. Guns were a non issue for her. Several years ago I decided to get a CHL. I always carried in the car whenever we went on trips, vacations etc. She thought it was a little weird that I was wanting to carry on my person 24/7. At first she would ask if I had it with me, over time, she didn't even have to ask, she knew.
In fact, awhile back we were walking one evening and she even patted my hip. I asked "what"? She stated it was getting dark, we were not close to home and just wanted to make sure! It made me smile.
Our home was burglarized about 15yr ago. I then installed all the preventative locks, alarms and exterior lights etc...... the proverbial
closing the barn door after the horse got out. Doing it to make your home a harder target is smart.
I have wanted my wife to get a CHL for 2 or 3 years. She didn't mind me having one but saw no need for her to obtain one. Anyway, I started sending her links or articles related to home invasion, armed robbery, sexual assaults etc. Not everyday, but once a week or so. They are often posted on this forum, or just check the local news. Sorry to say, those type of stories are in abundance. To make a long story short..... she wanted to take the class, did, sent in her application and is currently waiting for her plastic. In the mean time she (we) is/are shopping for her personal weapon of choice, her choice. Emailing a few links and articles over time seemed to help make my wife aware how vulnerable we can be. She is doing something about it. Another benefit is I get to go gun shopping!
Your wife may just need time. Unfortunately, it may be an experience that hits close to home before she really understands what you're trying to avoid. Hopefully, you'll be able to show her the "light". Good luck.

[MojoTexas]

Buy the book, "Thank God I Had A Gun," by Chris Bird, and ask her to read it. If she's not interested, then read it yourself and just tell her the stories verbally (which is what I did with my wife, when I got the same reaction). There are also lots of good stories in Massad Ayoob's book, "Ayoob Files: The Book." I have both books (among others) and they are excellent. You can order either or both books from Amazon if you can't find it in a book store.

The simple fact is that home invasions are becoming more prevalent, and even if you own a gun, it does you no good if bad guys kick in your back door and catch you unprepared.

I've been carrying at home for a while now, and my wife no longer gives me grief about it after I started telling her some of the stories. Ironically enough, my wife was previously married before she and I got together, and when she was married to her ex-husband they had their front door kicked in one night. Apparently the bad guys fled once they knew someone was home, but once I mentioned "home invasion" she saw the merit in the argument.

[quidni]

http://www.corneredcat.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A few years ago, a young lady who worked with my son asked me, "Why are you into guns? I can understand Thane liking it, because he's a guy, but why would a woman be interested?" This young lady comes from a very strict, traditional Mexican/Hispanic family, where it was "the man's job" to take care of the family, and the woman's job to take care of the home. Firearms were considered very "unfeminine."

I told her, "Some day, God willing, our son will marry. And God willing, we'll be blessed with grandchildren. Having grandchildren means outings and sleepovers at Grandma's house. And if someone ever breaks into our home or threatens my babies, he'll have to get to them over my dead body and a pile of brass!"

She understood "protecting the children." It's what a Mom and a Grandma do. Dads and Grandpas do also, but the mom is often the last line of defense if the dad goes down protecting her.

"The female of the species must be deadlier than the male." - Rudyard Kipling (the entire poem is on the Cornered Cat website. Click on Kipling's name to go directly to it.)

[drjoker]

My wife is crazy. She works in Oak Cliff and South Dallas and she does NOT carry a gun. She thinks I'm crazy for having a CHL and doesn't allow guns in the house. I have zero guns (I've given them all away to my dad and best friend). And, no unfortunate events happening to those around her will not persuade her. Her co-worker was shot in the chest and still she stubbornly will not budge on her "principles".

I've managed to get her to meet me halfway. She's taken the CHL class so that if she ever realizes that she needs a gun, she won't have to wait 9 months for her plastic to arrive. It took me 9 months but surprisingly it took her only 4 weeks for her plastic to arrive. Wow! The first time she ever picked up a gun, it was a Glock 19 and she put all the bullets in the same hole at 3 and 7 yards. At 15 (or was it 21?) yards, she missed the paper once (an empty shell casing hit her in the head) and missed the target once (but still hit the paper). All other shots at 21 yards was on target, but was not in the same hole. That was darn accurate shootin' for her first time. I wonder if she's keeping something from me....

I am still not allowed to have guns in the house and I still almost never carry, but at least if things got bad enough, she'd be willing to entertain the idea of using a gun. Anyways, for you guys who want their wives to shoot a couple of rounds with them, here's what worked for me. Act like a real chauvinist pig and challenge her! Yes, I told her that guys could innately do some stuff better than girls and that females, in general were less intelligent and weaker both physically and mentally. So, she said, name one thing other than weightlifting. I said, shooting, here allow me to demonstrate. I proceeded to pull out a toy airsoft gun and shot at a tin can and I purposely fumbled with it and missed. Then, she reached for it and told me that she'll show me. I told her that this doesn't count and that this is just a toy and she could not handle the recoil of a real gun for real men. Oh, she was irritated! (I love being a real jerk and pissing her off sometimes for fun, I know, I'll burn someday...) I would not allow her to touch the toy gun and challenged her to go to the range the next day. I enrolled her in a CHL class at the range for the next day. I showed her how to operate the Glock and taught her the NRA safety rules, then set her loose on the poor guys at the DFW Gun range. Man, they were impressed at her first time shooting ability! We left the range together and I had a beaming smile as big as Texas!

Good luck with your wives, gentlemen!


P.S. Notice that I said "act" like a chauvinist pig. I did NOT say BE a chauvinist pig. There's a real difference between the two.

[ES4Me]

I have never been anti-gun in my life, but I admit to having been gun neutral. Hubby has always had guns in the house, but I left them alone and didn't pay any particular attention to them. He didn't either. Hadn't fired a single one and didn't even have any ammo in the house should he need to use one. He was just "collecting" and they were just collecting dust.

Then, we were a victim of a crime. It was a property crime (theft of an RV) but it was a crime nonetheless. It then started to dawn on me that the police couldn't be there to prevent someone from stealing our property, how could I expect them to be there to protect me should we become victims of an even worse crime such as a home invasion?

At that point, I realized only I could be responsible for my own personal protection. Yes, my hubby and son may live here with me but they are not always home and they don't always travel with me either.

So, for my husband and son's birthday last year, I purchased some quality family time with a local instructor at his classroom/range and I was the one who insisted we get our CHL's. Yes, it has cost us significantly more $ in subsequent gun purchases (they are like Lays Potato Chips, no??), training classes, range memberships, NRA/TSRA memberships, etc. but it has all been worth every cent!

I am trying to do my part and talk to other women about the need to be "preparanoid". For those with resistant wives, have you considered putting them in touch with other women who carry? Perhaps they are coming at this from an angle that carrying a firearm isn't a feminine thing to do, but IMHO, dying at the hands of some crazed lunatic isn't either.