What is with our kids these days?

[paulhailes]

It seams like everywhere I read teenagers are committing the majority of our crimes, whats up with our kids? The past couple of stories I have read have been teenagers killing someone or teenagers breaking into someones house and getting killed. Maybe I happen to have the misfortune of just reading about the stories involving teens, but even so what happened. Is the media choosing to just report on teen crimes or is there a real issue at hand, not that thats not an issue? When I grew up my parents instilled a good understanding of right and wrong, y parents were not all that strict but were firm when it came to doing the right thing or not. I can't imagine that I am the only person that grew up with the idea of right and wrong, I mean I know i'm not look at all of you law abiding citizens. Any who I have been slightly bothered by what I have been reading lately and thought I would see if anyone feels the same way.

P.S. I hope everyone enjoys their Memorial Day weekend and takes a second to recognize the soldiers who died so that we could sit outside, grill and enjoy the wonderful country that we live in.

[CombatWombat]

I don't know what's up with kids, when I was a little kid I got run off peoples property for fishin in their pond but told to ask next time. My co-worker came home to a busted up windshield and scratched up paint, the culprits were 10-12 years old and when questioned it was discovered that the ring leader wanted to wait til they got home and bust up their brand new car. It's scary and I wonder if it gets worse? And how bad will it get?

[Hoi Polloi]

The last report I can find was 2008, but the DOJ says gang activity is significantly increased from a decade ago.
http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/229249.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Most gang members are youth aged 12-25. I've read that 60% are dead or in jail by age 20. It seems to me that an increase in gang activity and an increase in youth involved in major crime would go hand in hand.

[FL450]

Paddleing is illegal in our schools, and parents don't believe in the belt any more

[suthdj]

Paddleing is illegal in our schools, and parents don't believe in the belt any more

No, they are afraid of the govt response to spanking, remember that is family violence.

[chasfm11]

I don't think things have changed that much. There have always been kids in trouble and it was almost always for the same two reasons.

1. Too much time on their hands
2. Noone paying close enough attention to how they spend it.

It you go to the schools and what the kids in band, in sports, Boy/Girl Scouts etc., you'll find that it is a rare one that gets into trouble. In a lot of places, kids have to work to help support the family and they don't much have time to get into trouble either. At the other end of the scale are "latch key kids" (that term dates me doesn't it?) with no extracurricular activities. I think the social media makes it easier those with time and without direction to link up with others. I'd venture to say that most that start down the wrong path have been "hangin out".

I do understand that in some neighborhoods gang membership is a means of survival and that very young kids in gangs are often used to carry out the worst of deeds. But there are plenty of kids in affluent neighborhoods who get themselves into trouble, too, and without gangs.

Parenting is a 24/7 job. Unfortunately, we have a lot of parents who treat it like a part time occupation. Kids whose parents teach them to have a moral compass can improve the odds of keeping their kids out of trouble. But even those who have been taught good moral values can loose their way when the total amount of influence in their day is greater with their friends than with their parents.

At least that's my opinion.

[Jasonw560]

Not enough active fathers in the house. Ask most of these kids where their fathers are, and they will tell you in jail/on the street/selling dope/I don't know, or some combination.

Also, not enough discipline.

[Pug]

Though the kids, too, bear responsibility (they are and must be held responsible for their decisions and actions), the problem begins further up the food chain... What's wrong withour families these days?

Absentee and deadbeat dads... I had one, and I became (in the late 1960's) one of "those problem kids." Vandalism, petty theft, constant fighting, and substance abuse were all ways of trying to find the security and significance and affection that should have come at home, modled by a strong father-figure.

Moms who refuse to set appropriate boundaries, permitting almost anything in an attempt to gain her offspring's affection... I had one, and coming home drunk at age 13 after a street fight at the local pizzaria was OK -- so long as I came home to her place and not dad's.

Extended families that are completely disengaged in the lives of their nephews, nieces, grandchildren... They knew, but didn't know what to do.

And governmental intrusion into the family dynamic (e.g., state-sponsored fostering, education, etc) -- as if the fed, state or county can do a better job than the parents...good luck with that.

And somewhere somebody generated the delusion that the church can somehow undo and correct (in two hours per week) that which all of the above create in the other one hundred and sixty six hours each week.

There is a fantastic film coming out this summer that speaks to these issues -- http://www.courageousthemovie.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;. We sponsored a preview of the film last month in our conference center. All I can say is see it. It will change the way you think about our kids . . . and the way you think about yourself.

[CC Italian]

My car got vandalized the other night, luckily it was a rental. It was more then likely a result of teenage boys who were out way passed curfew on a weekday night. Bad parenting? I have learned long ago to never tell someone how to raise their kids to their face. They go crazy! My girlfriend and I recently saw a parent cursing up a storm at a teenage boy the other night at Fuddruckers. Did the kid deserve it? Who knows but I have no respect for adults who use that kind of language in public or around small children.

My friend who is also in education got assaulted about a week ago. Nothing surprises me with teenagers anymore. Most are fine by themselves but when you put them in groups they can get dumb really quick! Its part of that constant need for attention phase they go through and need to belong. I call it the I'm the only person in the world phase. Most when with parents or alone with another adult act like they should but when they are in groups they can be horrible. Yes, they are getting worse in the sense of less respect for adults and authority.

Heck, a lot of parents don't even come to open houses anymore. My girlfriend had only 17 adults come out of 150+ students and almost all of them came as couples so maybe 10 students’ parents came. I can only imagine how some of them treat their parents. Many parents either don't care or they don't have the time because they work two jobs nowadays. Many kids are being raised by video games and older teenagers who are home without their parents for hours on end. Babies raising babies.

Its 10:00pm on a Saturday night, where are your teenagers?

[cheezit]

IMO the village is failing because the parents dont listen them. As a kid I got in a fair amount of trouble but a little B and E was not on the list. I was at my nephews graduation last night (best wishes to the 2011 grads). I was surprised but the lack of respect from both parents and kids alike. socitiy is changing and sadly not for the best.

[alvins]

its because parents dont teach their kids how to make good decisions on their own anymore. My parents taught me how to think on my own and I knew what i could and couldnt do. now parents use any excuse to blame their kids bad behavior on someone else.

[rdcrags]

At the other end of the scale are "latch key kids" (that term dates me doesn't it?) with no extracurricular activities.

The implication here is that latchkey kids are at a disadvantage. Maybe so, but our mother worked while our father was overseas in the air force. In fact, she worked all of her life until retirement age. Call it "parents's expectations" or a simple "fear factor", but I can tell you that, if the school were to phone our mother to report misbehavior on my part, the discipline I received at school would have been nothing compared with what would have happened to me at home, and that was when paddling at school was practiced.

I like PUG's summary.

[The Mad Moderate]

One word. Discipline.

Time out's don't work, I can't remember where I heard it but I remember a saying that goes something like, my dad would take time out of his day to whoop me. Get back to the belt, and fast.

[flintknapper]

One word. Discipline.

Time out's don't work, I can't remember where I heard it but I remember a saying that goes something like, my dad would take time out of his day to whoop me. Get back to the belt, and fast.

You keep this up and we are going to have to take the word "liberal" out of your name.

[OldSchool]

I didn't see it expressed yet (might have missed it): The almost complete loss of a society full of good examples.

Concerts, movies, graduations, etc., have been a pain for me (even the symphony as a patron on occasion) for decades now. The line-cutting, the loud conversations, clapping loudly next to someone else's ear, drugs, etc. All the stuff that people have taken for granted since that time. It's at least as much the "adults" as the kids doing all of this? When you try to politely ask them to desist, they glare at you as if you had just stepped on their toes.

At choir performances and graduations, I have seen most of the parents literally acting like three year-olds!!! And, have you ever left a movie or concert smelling like a pot-head?

How about the highways, which I think are the best indicator of the fracturing of society? When my kids were under age 10, each asked me why everyone was speeding by us. Just try and explain to the kids why you keep to the speed limit, while no one else does. Society then makes you look like a fool. Ask an adult why they were breaking the law by driving 70 in a 40 zone? They reply, "I wasn't breaking the law!"

Then explain to the kids why they're getting spanked, then they say they're going to call the police (they never did, probably because I tried to explain and be consistent). I have had other "adults" yell "Child abuse!" when attempting to control my kids in public.

My definition of "common sense": The understanding that every action has a consequence. Everyone who ignores "common sense" by doing things that negatively affect others, including swearing, is also teaching the children "how life really is." It takes twice as much discipline to "un-train" bad behavior after it has been taught.

Really, why should kids be expected to perform any differently?