Lost a little confidence

[thinkitthru]

I am female and recently attended and passed my CHL class. Had a lot of fun actually, very informative and great information. I read the penal code and all of the laws prior to the class and understand everything including the use of deadly force and all of the not so great details that follow if you should choose to pull that trigger. We went over several cases where the victim suffered worse than the assailant, and how the law wasn't always on your side even in life or death situations - it left me a little bit on edge.

Even though we have so many laws and plenty of ground to stand on should the need arise, I can't help but feel less confident about actually using my gun to protect myself or my children than before I took the class. Yes I know - a little fear is a good thing, especially if seeing the 'big picture' keeps you sane and helps you make good choices in a bad situation. Has anyone else felt this type of apprehension after a class? A CHL is a HUGE responsibility. I don't care that I'd probably spend more than my house is worth on a good defense attorney or that I end up a felon. I just don't want to make a mistake that puts me on the other side of jail bars watching my kids grow up. I need a confidence boost. Anyone got any suggestions? I know I can't be the first to feel a little intimidated.

[RHenriksen]

The next time Charles Cotton offers his free seminar on the laws on use of deadly force in Texas, GO! Best money I ever didn't spend

Remember, you have to first survive a dangerous situation in order to have the luxury of worrying about the aftermath. Think about your children's life *without* their momma - that tends to focus the mind & keep you in the Here & Now.

Also, Texas is a very citizen-friendly culture when it comes to self defense.

[MoJo]

thinkitthru,

Let me welcome you to both the forum and to the world of concealed carry. As you stated, a concealed gun is a HUGE responsibility. But, the license is just the first step. There are a number of excellent training venues available. The NRA has classes in Personal Protection both inside the home and outside the home. Both of these courses will help to prepare you for responsible concealed carry. You didn't say what part of the State you live in. If you are in South East Texas I offer both courses.

Again, welcome and don't sit in the corner and be a wallflower.

Morris

[The Annoyed Man]

I am female and recently attended and passed my CHL class. Had a lot of fun actually, very informative and great information. I read the penal code and all of the laws prior to the class and understand everything including the use of deadly force and all of the not so great details that follow if you should choose to pull that trigger. We went over several cases where the victim suffered worse than the assailant, and how the law wasn't always on your side even in life or death situations - it left me a little bit on edge.

Even though we have so many laws and plenty of ground to stand on should the need arise, I can't help but feel less confident about actually using my gun to protect myself or my children than before I took the class. Yes I know - a little fear is a good thing, especially if seeing the 'big picture' keeps you sane and helps you make good choices in a bad situation. Has anyone else felt this type of apprehension after a class? A CHL is a HUGE responsibility. I don't care that I'd probably spend more than my house is worth on a good defense attorney or that I end up a felon. I just don't want to make a mistake that puts me on the other side of jail bars watching my kids grow up. I need a confidence boost. Anyone got any suggestions? I know I can't be the first to feel a little intimidated.

First off, welcome to the forum. I would say that you are actually approaching the decision to carry a gun with a great deal of maturity.

CHL is a huge responsibility. But you should consider a few things that may restore your confidence.....

First, legal costs aside, I don't believe that a grand jury in Texas has ever failed to "no-bill" a CHL holder who has had to use his/her gun in self-defense. The point is, yes, you will have costs associated with a shooting, but you will most likely come out of it intact and without charges, let alone a conviction.

Second, balanced against the potential legal costs of mounting a defense in a righteous shooting, wouldn't you agree that this cost pales when compared to the cost to your family of losing you losing your own life, or the cost to you personally of losing the life of a loved one whom you could have defended if you were armed?

I am a big believer in having as many armed citizens as possible....people who are armed day-to-day and always carry. This is not just for crime-fighting reasons, but also because the more people who exercise their 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms, the harder it will be going forward for government to suppress that right. But even more so, it is my personal mission in life to educate women about guns, and to convince women to carry them. Imagine what would happen to rape statistics if all women carried a gun. Only suicidal felons would attempt it.

[Texas10X]

Welcome to the forum!

Obtaining a driver's license and getting behind the wheel of an automobile is a HUGE responsibility as well. With responsibility comes the need for knowledge of laws, practice/experience, situational awareness and emotional maturity.

[RoyGBiv]

It's good that you're thinking about such things... but remember the old saying...

[chasfm11]

Welcome to this forum. I hope that you benefit from it as much as I have.

I've only had my CHL for a fairly short time (especially compared to many of the members on this forum) so I can somewhat relate to your concerns. How about these:

1. The chance that you will need to defend yourself or your kids is pretty slim. Most of us, thankfully, will go all our lives without having to use a gun to deal with a threat. The point in concealed carry is making sure that you do have an option if the situation arises. I cannot remember the last time that I used a spare tire in one of my vehicles but that doesn't mean that I'm not glad to have them.
2. The NRA, through the stories in "The Armed Citizen" show many situations where people used guns in self-defense. The majority of them didn't spend a ton of money defending themselves.
3. You are in Texas, not NY, NJ or IL where self-defense is frowned up. Many of the stories that you hear about citizens having to legally defend themselves after self-defense events are not here. It gives those of us pause who travel to other States (we have an RV) even if those States do honor the Texas CHL. In Texas, I have much less concern that taking a true defensive action will overburden me with legal bills.

I think that the CHL course is intended to be sobering. I only wish that our approach to driving took on a similar tone. In a true defensive situation, I expect it to unfold so rapidly that I'll be lucky to act in time, let alone to worry, at that moment, about the legal implications. If I've learned nothing else from this forum, it is that such situations are likely to start and end within seconds. I had a close call at a MS truck stop a couple of months after I got my CHL and it was amazing just how quickly it began. I credit the CHL course but much more the information that I've acquired by reading this forum and its recommended articles and books for my instantly recognizing what was going on and my being able to separate us from it.

[karder]

There was a story in the news a couple of weeks ago about a lady in Oklahoma who shot and killed an intruder who broke into her home while she was on the phone with 911. Not CHL I know, but to me it was a good example of the responsible use of deadly force to protect your family.
You never want to shoot and kill someone else. Ending another human life is serious business, but as a parent you have a responsibility to your children. Fortunately we live in a state that recognizes that we have a human right to protect ourselves from people who would choose to violently harm us. That is what the CHL is all about. It is not about being a cowboy or cop wannabe, it is about being a responsible citizen who is part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.
You are obligated to work hard and raise your kids to be good citizens, you are obligated to pay your taxes, you are obligated to do a lot of things, but being a victim is not one of them. Carry responsibly, practice often, and know that you will likely never need your weapon, but in the event you do, you have that last resort available. Good luck to you!

[n5wd]

Anyone got any suggestions? I know I can't be the first to feel a little intimidated.

Like the others have said, you've done good on the first part of the journey. I won't repeat all of the encouragement the others have mentioned, but maybe a couple of other things you might think about, as well.

I know that there are some on the forum that will say that it's unnecessary, but you might look into one of the pre-paid legal services that come to your aid if you use your handgun. I look at my annual premium (under $120, if I remember correctly) as an insurance policy (even though they are quick to tell you that is NOT what you're purchasing) against the money that would have to be spent on an attorney if I did use my firearm. After looking at what they offered, I went with [Pre-paid legal service] http://www.[Pre-paid legal service].com/. There is also a national organization, Armed Citizens Legal Defense Network http://armedcitizensnetwork.org/ that has some expertise in defending folks who've used their firearms in their own defense that might be a good fit for you, as well. Bottom line, there are some ways to mitigate the possible financial consequences of defending yourself. Personally, I have insurance on my home, my cars, my travel trailer, my life, my ... well, you get the idea.

Secondly, as you get a little bit of experience while carrying, you'll find that you become more comfortable with the decision making that we have to do every day. Most folks that go about life unarmed are walking around mostly oblivious to the possibilities of life - when you're carrying, that goes away simply because you ARE carrying. You become a bit more aware and observant, and find that you can mostly avoid the problems that might escalate, if you think about the situation clearly, and apply some level-headed actions. Remember, the firearm is a last-resort that, hopefully, you'll never have to use. Another insurance policy, if you will.

The fact that you've thought about the responsibility is good. Now, breathe, relax a bit, and know that you've got just a little bit of extra to protect you and your family should the necessity arise.

Oh, and welcome to the forum!

Wayne

[thinkitthru]

Thanks so much for the information and advice. My husband has a CHL, and we decided it was time I got one as well. I sometimes travel alot with my horses and have run into some weird situations while out on my own. We used to sit around and talk about the 'what if's' of some of these situations and decided not to leave things up to luck anymore - we all know luck can run out. Not everyone who wants to help you change your tire on the side of the road has good intentions.

Yes, a good self defense course would be a great idea. I've always shot rifles for fun and have enjoyed shooting but the seriousness of a CHL did make me re-evaluate everything I've learned about guns. Handguns are new to me, and I must admit I've been having a GREAT time trying different things. I spent over two hours in a gun shop picking up and feeling the different weights and grips and trying to find something that fit my hand. It's been a lesson in itself. I'm still learning new things everyday.

[Charles L. Cotton]

Thanks so much for the information and advice. My husband has a CHL, and we decided it was time I got one as well. I sometimes travel alot with my horses and have run into some weird situations while out on my own. We used to sit around and talk about the 'what if's' of some of these situations and decided not to leave things up to luck anymore - we all know luck can run out. Not everyone who wants to help you change your tire on the side of the road has good intentions.

Yes, a good self defense course would be a great idea. I've always shot rifles for fun and have enjoyed shooting but the seriousness of a CHL did make me re-evaluate everything I've learned about guns. Handguns are new to me, and I must admit I've been having a GREAT time trying different things. I spent over two hours in a gun shop picking up and feeling the different weights and grips and trying to find something that fit my hand. It's been a lesson in itself. I'm still learning new things everyday.

Welcome to the TexasCHLforum. What part of Texas do you call home?

You have received a lot of good information in response to your concerns. I cover the use of force and it's aftermath in detail both in my CHL classes and the Texas self-Defense & Deadly Force Laws Seminar I teach. I think it's necessary to cover it in depth, but I do so knowing that the vast majority of people who hear me speak will never be faced with some of the unusual or out-of-the-box fact patterns we cover. As chasfm11 noted, the odds are you will not be faced with the need to use deadly force, but if you are, in all likelihood, the facts will be clear to those who will be evaluating your actions.

Yes, carrying a gun is serious business. By your own admission, you are new to handguns and to the idea of going about armed for self-defense and defense of your children. Your concerns will go away quickly as you become more prepared mentally, physically and legally (I don't mean pre-paid legal). It doesn't take a lifetime of "training" to meet these goals, just a willingness to study and practice. You've taken a big step in that direction by raising the issue and getting input from others who have already traveled the road you are just entering.

Chas.

[bayouhazard]

My suggestion is to think about when you're willing to use deadly force. Think about it now in the clear light of day. Decide where you draw your line in the sand.

Once I did that, my fear of the legal system nearly vanished. I realized the potential legal consequences were acceptable to stop an even worse result, if an aggressor crossed my line.

[Skydivesnake]

My suggestion is to think about when you're willing to use deadly force. Think about it now in the clear light of day. Decide where you draw your line in the sand.

Once I did that, my fear of the legal system nearly vanished. I realized the potential legal consequences were acceptable to stop an even worse result, if an aggressor crossed my line.

Yes this is great advice - thinking through various scenarios and rationalizing what might be my response in those situations really helped me with this similar situation. Part of the nervousness I had here is 'when the chips are down, will I have the presence of mind to do the right thing ?'. Well, there are some scenarios you can think through before the chips are down, and thinking those through in advance helps you set some guidelines in your own mind that reassures you that you are less likely to over react unnecessarily, or under react purely though shock/surprise at being in that situation. It really made me feel far more secure carrying. Of course, every situation is going to be dynamic, but it helps to have thought through what the initial response might be.

[fishfree]

I am female and recently attended and passed my CHL class. Had a lot of fun actually, very informative and great information. I read the penal code and all of the laws prior to the class and understand everything including the use of deadly force and all of the not so great details that follow if you should choose to pull that trigger. We went over several cases where the victim suffered worse than the assailant, and how the law wasn't always on your side even in life or death situations - it left me a little bit on edge.

Even though we have so many laws and plenty of ground to stand on should the need arise, I can't help but feel less confident about actually using my gun to protect myself or my children than before I took the class. Yes I know - a little fear is a good thing, especially if seeing the 'big picture' keeps you sane and helps you make good choices in a bad situation. Has anyone else felt this type of apprehension after a class? A CHL is a HUGE responsibility. I don't care that I'd probably spend more than my house is worth on a good defense attorney or that I end up a felon. I just don't want to make a mistake that puts me on the other side of jail bars watching my kids grow up. I need a confidence boost. Anyone got any suggestions? I know I can't be the first to feel a little intimidated.

I know what you mean. Browsing this site leaves me with the feeling that one should get their law degree before the chl

And it certainly does not help when some sections of the law are (perhaps intentionally) vague or subject to different interpretations.

I think you just have to trust that you will know what to do when or if the situation ever arises.

[The Annoyed Man]

And it certainly does not help when some sections of the law are (perhaps intentionally) vague or subject to different interpretations.

However, some of that ambiguity works in our favor because the wording of the law uses terms like "reasonable" and "reasonably believes."